It All Started By One Single Tear (Rantaro x reader x YandereMastermind Kokichi)

Chapter 5 Part 35: Rantaro's Visit

Your POV:

    I had my back turned to the window as I slowly waited for time to go by, that being the only thing I could do. I only had so much time to stew in my frustrations and doubts, especially since I in Kokichi's words was the reason the first case happened. There was only so much I could take before I could crack under the pressure. When Kokichi left to do what I believed was keeping an eye on the others, I was able to release my emotions when he couldn't mock me for them at the time.
    However, the down side was over focusing on everything, dwelling on each and every bad thing that was being told to me previously. I could barely notice the bathroom I was in due to the constant stress of everything. It felt overbearing, and I haven't felt this same set of emotions since the truck accident.
Everything I was thinking of was interrupted by an abrupt knocking coming from behind me. Almost instantly, I tensed up, and it was probably visible to whoever was the source of the said knocking. Sweat started to form on my forehead due to the sense of impending doom I was feeling, but a part of me could've also been overthinking it. To ease my cramping and sore limbs, I decided to turn my head. My movements were hesitant because my instant thought process was that Kokichi was back and mocking me with the hope that it would be someone else on the other side.
    Just like it was for every time someone knocked at the window... It wasn't Kokichi who was there. I was expecting to see Maki there, but as soon as I registered the face staring at me from the window... fluffy green hair, and green eyes that once again held the soft look they had. It was Rantaro.
    As soon as I realized it was him, my eyes widened in shock. My mouth was hung agape for a moment, my eyes wide as if I was determining if this was real or not. Everything was flooding back once more. The last time I spoke to him... it was implied that he didn't want to be with me anymore, but the conversations I had with Maki were also fresh in my mind. She told me that Rantaro explained his case to her and the others, and what I thought it was was just my classic trauma response. I was almost too deep in my thoughts when...

"Hey, (y/n), long time no talk," Rantaro said with a slight nervous chuckle, "I was hoping we could talk about what happened."

   When he said that, I was staring directly at him as tears started to well in my eyes. His voice sounded like it had more emotion, and the glare in his eyes was gone. He wanted to talk to me about what had happened. He seemed to notice the shock I was going through, because I heard Rantaro chuckle audibly.
    "I'll give you a moment," he said with a worried smile, "take your time."
    I was actually registering that he was speaking with me. After his next sets of lines, I found myself starting to feel wells of water forming in my eyes. With no hesitation at this point, I turned myself around, doing the best I could in using my knees to get closer to the window. It took me around thirty seconds to get to the window, and as soon as I made it there, I stared at him, seeing him looking at me. There was one thing on my mind.
    "R-Rantaro, you're here," I stammered out.
    I was still slightly dumbfounded, but still crying. I was happy that he came to see me, but I had no idea where we were in resolving terms. There was a lot he probably found out, and there were things I found out. The thing that was in the back of my mind was the fact that the reason Kokichi tried to kill Rantaro was because of me. I didn't know if I could tell him that at this moment, and part of that was eating me up on the inside.
    "I can see why you're shocked," Rantaro spoke, causing me to snap back to attention, "jerky boyfriend avoids his girlfriend, causes her to relapse, and didn't even realize the mistake of his ways. Sound familiar to you?"
    Rantaro seemed to know why I was shocked. That for some reason didn't surprise me. I was sure that many things with me as the topic were brought to the light of not just him, but everyone. However, I was shocked when he started speaking more or less in third person. His explanation was saying a boyfriend who was being a jerk, avoids his girlfriend and causes her to relapse, not realizing this as well. He asked me if that sounded familiar to me.
It didn't take me long at all to realize that he was talking about himself. He asked if the situation sounded familiar to me, because it was the exact thing that happened. Even if Rantaro was able to say that he was being a jerk, I knew there was a reason for it, but I still had no idea of that reason. And it was this specific line of his that made me realize he knew of what I did, and that in turn made me feel guilt about it. In a sense, I didn't want anyone to know because it would worry them, but Kokichi didn't see it that way. I decided I would reply to him.
"It does sound familiar to me, but..." I muttered, trailing off, "I can't exactly be too upset with you when I knew something was going on... I can't be too upset with you when I know that I have things that went on that I could've handled better too. It takes something substantial to happen in order for a reaction like yours to take place."
In a sense, I didn't want Rantaro to speak too badly of himself. There was the worry for that, and the worry of what would happen if Kokichi found out about this. In this moment though, for now... I didn't care. I was happy that Rantaro was even speaking with me, and smiling at me. It was like it has been awhile since we were able to look each other in the eyes and actually speak.
In response to my words, Rantaro let out a nervous chuckle. His eyes were clouded with guilt however as if he was beating himself up over what happened. I'm not sure if I would be too surprised if that was the case. If he was, I still wanted to ease his mind in some way, but we had to actually talk about what happened if this was what it was about.
"You say that you have things to work on too, right?" Rantaro asked, "that may be true, and you were right in the sense that something happened. However, the fact is I had no right to treat you that way after that happened. Despite knowing that you saved my life and were there for me since day one... when we spoke before all of this happened, I pushed you away, knowing something was happening with you too."
"What was happening with me at the time I can chalk up to trauma response," I replied, looking down, "Maki was able to get me to realize that one. Miu was brought to life without me knowing, and Kokichi was the one who did that. Kaito was avoiding me, causing doubts in my mind, and then after that... you started avoiding me. The doubts in my mind... the flashes of the past of mine you know about... seeing people I care about leaving made me believe the same thing I did in the past. Everyone would leave, however... you just proved that that isn't true. Yes, you pushed me away, and you had a reason that I'm really curious about. It hurt at the time, but you still came by to see me... and I'm really happy you did. You have no idea how relieved I am to see you smiling at me, and looking at me."
I didn't realize how many words flew through my mouth. It was brought up when Rantaro said that he knew that I was going through something too, and I couldn't keep myself from venting all of that to him, so he got a better understanding of what was happening to cause me to be stressed out like that. The only downside was that part of the events that were stressful to me were resolved in order to give me more stress to have under my head.
Rantaro looked like he was thinking for a moment after I told him what was going on before I was put into this bathroom. It was as if he was thinking about what to say next. After saying the fact that what happened was a result of trauma. How Maki was able to confirm that. Despite the stress I told him, I was being truthful to him when I told him that I was very happy to see him. I was being truthful that I was happy he was smiling and looking at me. Even if I had doubts due to what Kokichi said, I was still happy to see him.
   "I think I already knew about the stress with Kaito and the situation that happened with Miu," Rantaro told me, "but I still appreciate you telling me again. With all that is going on, it's nice to get a reminder of past events. And about what's been going on with me, I think it might be better to tell you the detailed version when we rescue you. But what you should know for now is that I'm a lot more complex than even I thought I was. It caused me to have a brief lapse in judgement for both myself and everyone else. I only realized my errors when Kokichi was parading you like some sort of trophy."
Rantaro already knew of the stress. I found myself to be laughing nervously when he said he knew about the things that were stressing me out, but he did thank me for bringing those up again. Rantaro explained himself in more of a vague sense. A part of me was guessing that was because of Kokichi, so I could understand that. Rantaro found himself to be more complex than I thought he was. I didn't know what he meant by that, but whatever it was, it caused him a lapse in judgment. It was when I was knocked out that he realized the mistake.
    It wasn't a surprise to me somehow from what Kokichi told me. He gave everyone else some information I didn't even know he had, and once he got me, he had no problem sharing the same things with me. There was so much I wanted to tell him about the situation I was in, but there was only so much I could say. I could probably guess that Kokichi was using underhanded methods, so I should be doing the same thing in a sense. Either way, my mind was still dwelling on certain things. I wouldn't truly find out what was actually going on with his complexity until I was rescued, but he did seem pretty insistent on the statement.
    "I feel like I can partially understand what you mean by that," I muttered nervously, "so you found out something about yourself, and it caused you to have trouble trusting yourself and the others, me included?"
     "I think you kind of hit it on the nose there," Rantaro laughed nervously in response, "I can say with utmost confidence that I now know my talent, so there's a piece of what I've learned."
    I guess I still had the power of observation on my side. Rantaro was laughing nervously as he told me that I basically hit it on the nose, and the phrasing would also cause me to start to laugh as well. He did have the confidence when he told me that he found out his talent. That was a piece of what he knew, but even if I could guess the event that happened, I still didn't know what types of information was presented with him. Either way, Rantaro was thinking on the bright side, at least as much as he could.
    "I'm glad that you at least know your talent," I said with a smile, "and I do understand a little bit. I was upset at the time, but I knew something was happening, and I still want to repair what's going on between us. Me saying that is true, I really want to, so don't have any doubts here on out. In turn, I'll try not to have many doubts about what happened. I knew something was going on, and I know you didn't mean for things to end up like this."
    "I guess Maki was right, huh?" Rantaro laughed, "she told me that she talked to you, and that you were worried more about everyone than yourself. Even with that in mind, I know you're worrying about your situation as well and what's going to happen, but that isn't the point. She did tell me that you wanted to repair what was going on between us. I didn't know whether to truly believe that unless I talked to you... but I'm happy that you said the phrasing yourself. I want to repair our relationship as well."
Maki did tell them about the conversations we had. I found that to be a good thing, because they would at least know what was happening in a vague sense with being a hostage. It kind of made me wonder if she warned them yet about what Kokichi was planning to do. My thought of that was cut off when he explained what Maki told him. About me being concerned about everyone, even though there was an underlying concern for what was going to happen to me. She told him about what I said about fixing our relationship.
When I found out that he was happy that I told him I wanted to repair the relationship, him even saying that made my eyes widen. I was really shocked for a moment. Through the shock, I felt happy that he said that. He wanted to repair things as well, so now there was no doubt in my mind. Hearing that also made my relapse seem like it was for no reason, and the aching of my arm made me start to feel embarrassed by that fact.
I couldn't deny how much the negative thoughts were dominant in my mind, as if it was that voice returning to me, telling me to hate myself. Jumping to conclusions was one of my most prominent talents, but that wasn't even the point here. It was on the table now that both Rantaro and I wanted to repair this, and as happy as I was, I still wasn't out of this situation yet.
    "We both want to repair the relationship," I said with a smile, "but for now, you need to focus on what's going on with Kokichi."
     "We already have a plan for Kokichi," Rantaro replied, "since we already have a plan, I guess I should probably tell you so you can prepare. Our plan is to utilize the Electrohammers in order to storm the barrier. I know it may not seem like a sound plan, but with a large group of us, we can basically do anything, right?"
    I wanted to focus with how Kokichi would react to certain things. Rantaro and I couldn't even talk completely normally because of the fear of him finding out what I told Rantaro. If I gave too much information to everyone, chances were, Kokichi would be more likely harm everyone sooner. That's why I was being mindful on what I was saying. I didn't have a lot of time, nor could I tell absolutely everything without getting hurt.
    Rantaro explained that they already had a plan for Kokichi. Before I could ask what the plan was, Rantaro was already telling me, in order for me to be able to prepare for whatever plan he was going to say. I was told that everyone was planning on storming the electromagnetic barrier, using the Electrohammers to get past the barrier and Exisals. It didn't sound like too much of a sound plan when Rantaro explained it, but he was telling me that anything was possible with a large group. Since we were at the topic of plans and such, I had to give him a warning.
    "You say that you have a plan, I get that..." I muttered, "but now that you are telling me this, I have to give you a warning of my own. I told this same thing to Maki, and I'll probably pay the price for even telling it to you, but I feel like you deserve to know."
    "What do you need to warn me about?" Rantaro asked, "and I'm guessing this has to do with whatever Kokichi is planning, right?"
    "Yeah, you're right..." I replied nervously, "I don't know what Kokichi's plan is, but I know that he plans on using me in some way for the next motive. I'm pretty sure he's been planning his next moves based on what he knows about your plan, so the chances of this happening soon are very likely. I'm warning you because I need you to see through whatever Kokichi comes up with for the motive. You guys have to be the ones who determine the motive as a truthful motive or one that is layered with deception. Kokichi hasn't even told me what he plans on doing with me for the motive, because he knows I'll tell you guys."
I saw Rantaro's face contort into a frustrated expression as I explained to him what I knew. What I was saying felt more vague in my words, but I wanted him to have the heads up. I didn't know what Kokichi was planning, nor did they. I had at least a little bit of information I could give without too big of a penalty. I was terrified, but I had to help them in some way. Just the fact of knowing I was going to be showcased as the next motive, and the reaction Rantaro had. It was frustrating.
"He really is getting cocky, huh..." Rantaro muttered, "I guess we are going to have to speed things up as well then."
Rantaro let out a small hum as if to ease the air. Despite him doing so, there was no ease in the frustration in the air. Frustration on knowing that things were going to take a swan dive south. I was frustrated due to my situation and dwelling on things Kokichi has told me. I couldn't help but speak again.
"He has told me things..." I muttered, "and each time I think that it can't get any worse than that, but it does. I don't know what to believe anymore, and it hurts. I don't know how much more of that I can take. The only thing I can do in this situation is wait, and I feel so useless."
    I couldn't help but say all of this. What I was saying was true. I was being told things, and each time it got worse. I could see the frown that formed on Rantaro's face. His eyebrows narrowed, causing him to look slightly angry as I told him how I felt. I heard an audible sigh come from his lips.
    "It doesn't surprise me that he wouldn't go that far," Rantaro replied with a serious look, "and I know a thing or two about what it's like not to know what to believe. Kokichi is a liar, so he could just be telling you information that isn't accurate. Even so, it is hard to not believe what's being told to you."
    "I know Kokichi is a liar," I replied, "but some of the things he tells me... it doesn't sound like a lie, and it's terrifying. It feels like he is doing this to break me down bit by bit, and it's working. I don't know how much time we have left for this conversation, but I highly doubt it's going to last too much longer."
    Truth be told, just like Maki, Rantaro and I couldn't speak for too long. I acknowledged that fact, and the utter thought of it out a frown on my face. I knew we didn't have a lot of time, but I was still able to talk to Rantaro. That fact made me feel like I could last against Kokichi's words and mannerisms. I was no stranger to having a conversation in this situation that had to be cut short because no one was aware of when he was going to be back.
Rantaro's face contorted into one of sorrow as he realized that we should probably cut this conversation short. It was after this point that he started to chuckle nervously in response to what I said. It was almost as if he had lost track of how long we were chatting for, and in a sense, I felt the same way.
"Listen," Rantaro spoke, "you say that Kokichi is breaking you down bit by bit. You don't have to let him do that to you, even if the situation is bad. I've seen you overcome things that pale in comparison to this. You don't have to listen to him. And before you say "I can't do that", I know you can do it. You seem to need some sort of inspiration, so I'll help out. I know you can do this, (y/n). I know that being still is not the best circumstance, but hold out a little longer. We will rescue you, I promise."
When Rantaro told me to listen, I was silent as he spoke. He acknowledged what I said about what Kokichi was doing, but when he said that I didn't have to let him do that to me, I almost was surprised. He told me that I was able to overcome things that pale in comparison to this.
'I guess almost being killed twice equates as worse things...' I thought with a sigh.
Even so, I couldn't help but laugh when Rantaro was telling me that I didn't have to listen to Kokichi. I couldn't help but start to smile when he was motivating me. He gave me words of encouragement, requesting me to hold out a little longer and I'd be rescued. I knew I was going to have to wait, but in a sense, I didn't realize I could put Kokichi's words in one ear and out the other. A part of me had a feeling this was going to be a lot harder in retrospect.
Being rescued was a promise he made to me. All I had to do was hold out a little while longer. I didn't know how much longer until Kokichi was going to decide to introduce the motive, but I hoped that I would be rescued. I was smiling at him, feeling genuinely happy that I was able to speak with him. At least the stressful events of the past were more or less melting away. Rantaro was back to more or less his old self. And in a sense, I felt a part of myself return to me as well.
"You are probably right though," Rantaro spoke once more, "I think it's a good idea for us to end things here today."
I almost felt my smile instantly drop when I heard him agree that it was probably a good idea to cut things short. I knew it was for the best, but it hurt to know that was about to happen. I let out a sigh before giving him another smile.
"Thank you for talking to me," I said, "this really helped. I think I might be able to hold out a little while longer. Just please do me a favor and be careful. Tell everyone else to be careful as well."
"Thank you for letting me talk to you," Rantaro replied with a smile, "talking with you also helped me out a bit too."
Rantaro laughed nervously as he said that. I'm sure he would've been scratching the back of his head nervously if we were in the same room. In a sense, we both helped each other out today, so I guess that was a good sign.
"Please be careful, (y/n)," Rantaro told me, "don't let him get past your will. I will see you at some point soon, after we rescue you."

Artist of the image used in this chapter: suiren_yurei

Annnnnnnnd fin! Hey all, I hope this chapter was better this week. My brain has been swirling through so many art ideas that my brain has been working on overdrive. To be completely honest, I had to go back and reread some of the more recent chapters to get myself immersed into my story. Going back helps me determine conversation topics for the characters, and runs through the recalled events. Example, talking to Maki. She told Rantaro previously of one of the conversations with reader. Helps to describe an event such as this one.

Still spoiler, both of them aren't in their exact state of minds, so while this is an emotional thing, there is so much going on to fully process the emotional state of Rantaro and Reader seeing each other. Both of them have a lot on their minds, but the air is now clear.

In terms of the chapter, I hope I did well on this. If any of you have some constructive criticism, let me know so I can use those techniques for the next chapter. Also my current art project is based off of the undertale reference after Kokichi tries to threaten everyone with Miu's very own Electrobomb. I thought it would be funny to draw, and that should be up at some point on my Tintok if I finish it. (I plan to finish it, a lot of work has been going into working on it)

With all of the ramblings done, I will see you all next week. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you have time, say hi in the comments. It's been awhile since I've heard from a lot of readers, so I say hi to everyone! Ciao until Friday!- yuki_no_fuyu