A Deceiving Passion

The Dream is Not Over

By the end of the week, Stevie would be packing her things to go to Greenland the night before her flight the next morning, and although she didn't want to leave her home after craving it all year, she also couldn't wait to see her three other kids.

"Let me help you with that," Lindsey stated, taking the suitcase she had just zipped up, off the bed.

"Thank you," she turned toward him, watching him gratefully.

"Of course," he smirked, unsure of why she would thank him when really it was more of a common courteousy.

"Well, I guess what I mean is, I appreciate it all... Everything you've done for me this last week. I know this isn't easy for you."

He said nothing, staring into her eyes was all he did in return.

His ocean blue eyes were crashing as far as she could tell that as soon as he lifted his hand to place it on her shoulder, there were immediate butterflies.

She kind of giggled rather shyly and she turned her head.

"What?" he smirked, delighted to see her smile and laughter.

"Nothing," she waved her hand, trying to pull herself together because as soon as he mentioned it, she wanted to laugh more. "I'm just embarrassing..."

"Oh, now you have to tell me," he chuckled. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing..." she shook her head, placing her hand on his chest. "You know... I can't lie to you and since I've met you through new eyes, I've had a total crush on you...?" she blushed.

He smirked.

"But then I remember we're married and we're together... You know, I've been reading my journal a lot---trying to get a feel of myself..."

He nodded.

"I know I really love you," she then patted his chest. "I just really am having some thoughts surrounding it all. You know, I love you, I have a crush on you but then when I realize, all that's great and okay, because we're married-- I get a little blindsided by the last year and I feel dirty. I feel not worthy of your love. I know you adore me, but what can I say?" she wondered, looking up at him.

"Stevie, you don't not deserve my love," he brought his hand to hers that was on his chest and he kissed the back of it. "You are really the most innocent person in this whole thing. You're right there with Sofia---you didn't know what was happening. Nobody in this house is lying to you about who you are. You are Stephanie Nicks, your kids are your kids, you're married to me... And we actually love each other," he swiped her hair behind her ear, stepping a tad closer. "I love you..."

"I know and I love you too," she assured, fighting her tears---she wanted to look at him but she didn't want tears to spill out so she shut them.

"Look at me, please," he asked, pressing her into himself.

Nearly resting her chin on his chest, did she open her eyes and look into his. "Hm?" she hummed.

"Besides the kids, you are literally the only thing that matters to me and I want you to be happy. You don't know how hard this is for me... I get that you're struggling, going through some self discovery---but I'm not used to being pushed away."

"I'm not trying to push you away, I just feel ashamed to let you near me... As soon as I want to push myself to go further, something stops me. And it's not that I don't love you---I want to have everything with you as I do. But then I also want to start over because I don't know how to continue."

"If that makes you happy, we can start over and we don't have to talk about the last year..."

She stayed quiet.