Requested by iliterallyloveu pls enjoy <3 (this is about panic attacks, just a warning :)))
Digging your nails into your arm, you blinked slowly, everything unfocusing and then focusing over and over, stuff becoming blurry and then painfully sharp all at once. Your nails were the only thing grounding you in place, so you dug them in, further and further into your skin, not caring when you could feel the skin breaking apart.
Gulping, you tried to focus on your breathing, but it just became more and more uneven, nausea settling in your stomach, heavy and causing a cold sweat.
Still, you kept your eyes wide open and blurry, focusing on what seemed like a pen on the table, breathing raggedly. To anyone else, you would have seemed completely normal, just maybe a little out of it, but to you, this was hell. Your heart pounded loudly in your chest, pulsing through your entire body, making you twitch ever so slightly, your veins feeling like they were burning. Lungs begging for more and more air, you took a deep breath, still feeling like it just wasn't quite enough, you needed more.
"Y/N?"
You blinked, forcing yourself to look up, squinting. Everything was still slightly out of focus.
"...Y/N?" Niki moved closer, frowning at you, her hand coming to rest at your shoulder comfortingly.
Closing your eyes, you leant forward, resting on her shoulder, completely exhausted. Everything felt too heavy and annoying, your body overworked from being hyper-aware of everything. Her arms wrapped around you, squeezing a little bit and you sighed in relief, finally able to breathe a little clearer, your lungs actually filling with air. Muscles starting you relax, you let her pull back and lift up your arm, wincing when she touched the part where your nails had been.
"You wanna rest? I'll look after that later."
Nodding, you let her pull you up, clinging to her arm for support, offering an unsure smile when she looked questioningly at you. Giving you a quick kiss on the cheek, she let you get into bed yourself, throwing you a pillow.
You patted the space next to you, smiling when she rolled her eyes, jumping into bed. For someone who seemed so unwilling to join, she cuddled you pretty quickly, snuggling close so your head rested against her, making sure to wrap the blankets tightly around you.
"I love you," she whispered, kissing you on the top of your head tenderly, interlocking her hands with yours. You gulped, looking up and opening your mouth, trying to talk. Staying silent, you tried as hard as you could, gritting your teeth when your throat just locked up, nothing actually coming out. Niki let out a soft laugh, stroking your hair. "It's ok. No need to force yourself."
Relaxing against her, you smiled, shuffling as close as you could to Niki, basking in her warmth.
You loved her too.
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(A/N-decided to use this to bring attention to a type of panic attacks that most ppl don't talk about, especially in fanfic :) panic attacks can include ones that aren't visible at all, but they're still just as bad-i would know. find some good coping mechanisms everyone, like music or drawing or youtube videos, so you don't make bad decisions, stay safe <33)
