The first story in the Ryan Family Series!
Navy Winters had her life all figured out and then everything blew up in her face in a matter of minutes. Her boyfriend passed away suddenly and here she is six months pregnant and has no one to turn to and...
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By the time I got back in bed, my heart was beating fast and my mind was racing. What are you doing Navy?
I am human and I have needs too. Just because I kiss Kash doesn't mean that I will just forget Gavin and what we had all those years. But I honestly don't think Gavin would want me to be alone and cry for the rest of my life.
It's just kissing and nothing more. No way of knowing what the future holds. But I need to get this shirt to Louise and have a bear made and put his pillow in the closet in a sealable bag so I can keep the smell.
I will never move on or even begin to process my grief by always taking two steps backward.
I close my eyes and smile when I think of Kash's lips on mine and how that felt. I had never felt lighter and freer than I do at this moment.
When I woke up the next morning I realized it was 9 am and why didn't Lanie wake me up crying? I jump out of bed tangled in the sheets and about broke my neck.
I have to pee so bad and then I'm going to check and see what's going on. I readjust my ponytail and walk to Lanie's room. The crib was empty so I walk downstairs and find Kash with Lanie on the couch rocking her and feeding her a bottle I pumped earlier last night.
"I was wondering why my baby wasn't crying." I smile.
I woke up early and checked on her and changed her diaper and then brought her down to eat because she was getting cranky." He said.
"Thank you for doing all that. I slept great and feel rested." I said.
I watch as Kash scoops Lanie up and pats her on the back for her to burp. "I'm glad you did. I slept ok myself." He smirked.
"So I decided the shirt I keep on the bed I'm going to have a bear made into that and Gavin's pillow I'm going to put into one of those sealable bags and get it off my bed. I can't handle grief or begin to deal with it if I don't begin to move forward." I said.
"I'm proud of you Navy. That's a step in the right direction." He smiled just as Lanie let out a big burp.
We both laughed... "Do you want me to take her?" I ask.
"No, we are good. I'm bonding with Lanie bug. She seems content so do whatever you have to do." He said.
"I could use a shower and freshen up if you don't mind," I said.
"Go ahead we are good." He smiled.
I went upstairs and took a shower and shaved my legs and washed my hair. I took my time because I knew Kash was fine with Lanie.
I got out and grabbed my robe and put it on and went to my vanity to sit down and apply some makeup and fix my hair. I throw it up on my head in a cute bun.
Once all done up I pick a cute maxi dress in my closet and slip it on. When I head downstairs Kash is smiling and looks to be talking to someone.
I peek my head in the living room and see Louise. "Hi, Louise!" I smile.
"Oh, honey you have a gorgeous baby!" She said.
"Thank you! It's nice of you to stop by." I smile sitting down on the couch.
"Well, I didn't know you had the baby until I called Kash to find out where you guys had been and he told me so I wanted to stop by with a gift." She said.
"I'm glad you did. I was going to get up with you later. Kash mentioned you can have me a bear made out of Gavin's clothes?" I asked.
"Oh yes dear, I can do that for you." She said.
"I was keeping his shirt and pillow on my bed but all it was doing was causing me to cry. So I decided this morning I want a bear and I'm going to seal his pillow and get it off my bed." I said rubbing my fingers together.
"That will help you heal dear. I hope you both return to the group soon and bring this cutie. Everyone will want to meet her." Louise said.
"I will do that. This one over here is a big help and I think we can keep her from throwing too much of a fit." I laugh.
"She will be just fine. Everyone gets invested in each other's stories and everyone has been asking where you guys were." She said.
"I have been sleeping on the couch and helping her out with Lanie and between that and the shop being busy I'm sorry I haven't been," Kash said.
"I'm going to go get the shirt. I'll be right back." I said excusing myself and head upstairs and grab the shirt off the bed and hold it to my nose one last time.
When I walk back downstairs Kash and Louise were in the kitchen. I handed her the shirt and she pulled me in for a hug. "I will get this to you as soon as it's done." She smiled.
"Thank you, Louise I really appreciate it," I said as we walked her out.
Once the door was shut Kash carried Lanie to the bassinet and laid her down. She was back asleep already.
"So what do you have planned for today?" I ask him.
He walks me backward over toward the fridge and pressed his body against mine. I can't help but smile and like what he is doing.
"I have a couple of tats to get done and then I'll be back." He said before pressing closer to me.
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss.
