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Jongho was sitting, busy thinking while many questions came back and forth through his head, millions of worries and thousands of doubts.
How did things turn this way?
Just a few weeks ago, everything was completely fine. But now, things are wrecked like how water and juice mix together and wrinkled like bed sheets. It's crazy how soon things change, and how there can not be a second to ponder any moment of it.
Time flies like a bird, scared and petrified it ends fast that you won't be able to fulfill your whole wishes in a few more hours. That's how life is, that's how life naturally's begun for everyone.
It's heard in fairytales that when humans are born, their lives are as chaste as a white paper and their hearts are as pure as an angel's. Wishes or prayers, their future is already upon them and their fate is already set - nothing can be changed.
That's destiny.
"Earth to jongho!" Yunho raised his tone, his voice echoing through the cafeteria as jongho's swiftly brought back from the mythical - forming his mouth in an 'o' to apologize for being zoned out. "You dozed off again... what's wrong? You do a lot these days."
"H-huh? Me?"
"Yes, you." Yunho rolled his eyes, "if it's it, then you should just go with the flow. We're all sad anyway." He grabbed the book placed so neatly on the table and started examining it's cover, slightly playing with the hem of his sweater.
"Yeah..." jongo sighed, "but one thing I don't understand is... why did seonghwa choose to stay silent?" He stuffed his hands in his pockets while swinging the chair back and forth, "he could've told us."
"That's right," Yunho pulled out a pack of gum which was fast to lighten up jongho's face, extending his hand as if asking for it. He was resulted with an orange gum in hand, tearing the wrap open and savoring it inhumanly in no time. "He probably didn't want to bother us, that's all I think."
"But I'm also worried about our friendship group." Jongho pouted, "Seonghwa is gone, Yeosang doesn't come to college and the same thing with hongjoong. Mingi and San... they're probably not going to talk much with us anymore. Our group is slowly tearing apart..."
Yunho tilted his head, frowning while getting back flashbacks from the past few days at night when san revealed everything, and how mingi lost his temper and punched the nuts out of him, all of this leading to a fight full of confusion and heartbreaks just like how a thick bottle can be shattered to pieces eventually by the strong waves in an ocean.
"I realized," Yunho placed his hand on jongho's, making the boy raise his head and look into his eyes. "But all of this will end. Okay? Don't you worry."
"But-" Yunho stuffed his mouth with chips before he could say any more negative stuff, frowning but munching on the food anyway. "Hey! Yeopfang!" Jongho stood up and shouted with a muffled voice, munching on the chips drastically and gulping them beastly once he spot the older by the entrance door. Yeosang turned his head to locate for the source of the voice and a weak smile was put through the mask fitted so perfectly on his face.
He made his way towards the two and sat down, folding his hands together. "Hey..."
"How come are you here?" Yunho asked, mouth a jar while jongho smacked his thigh for asking such a question. "I mean, you weren't great... you know what nevermin-"
"I'm okay now." Yeosang cut him off, taking the older by surprise while jongho just stayed quiet, enjoying the two spilling tea. "I can't lock myself up forever, can I?" He chuckled lightly, trying his best to stop the tears that soon formed in his eyes - rubbing them quickly anyway.
"Yeah..." Yunho side-eyed jongho, "Exactly you can't."
"But where is hongjoong?"
"He's in the library, he said he wants to be alone."
"Man, we're really doomed." Yunho huffed, positioning his elbow on the table while the cafeteria soon started to be filled with students. But it didn't take long for the bell to start ringing and crapping the hell out of them.
✘
Yeosang pulled out his keys and opened the door to his room with a long sigh, ready for the room to be filled with misery again just like every other day. Fake a smile, and cry while alone again.
It's become his hobby.
Ever since Seonghwa's gone it's been terrible, but life doesn't work that way. By now he doesn't think he can recover from the pain anytime soon, but tries with every day passing by.
He walks towards the bed, reaching for the nightstand table while pulling out the velvet box, sitting back down with a sigh as he unwrapped the black ribbon around it and with a deep sigh - he opened it and pulled out the bracelet.
He looked at it, smiling weakly while he examined every little detail. He loved the way he made it - a sin black rope with little white letters 'MARS', in between each letter was a black and red bead, designing it perfectly. It was beautiful and simple, definitely similar to the bracelets seonghwa always used to wear.
"will I get any reward tonight, like... a kiss?"
"I'll give you all of the kisses in the world... just get back."
It felt like just sitting there and watching the bracelet - lived a whole misery itself, and it truly was miserable. It looked like a CD, showing all of the memories in one while tapping 'play'. While staring at it, he realized a tear touch his thigh and shimmer in the dim light, followed by another, another, and another which soon led to a sea of tears.
"Why..." he held the bracelet tight, shutting his eyes while a tear rolled down and touched his lips directly - him tasting his own salty tear. "Come back to me..."
Pretending to be okay is... exhausting.
'I wish for you to always stay by my side. I wish for us to marry and run away.'
"What did you wish for?"
"Idiot, I can't tell you. It won't come true."
"Then, I also can't tell you mine either."
The slow tears slowly increased, sobs audible and hiccups evident while thinking about many things. He loved crying, it had become his favorite thing. Crying makes him happy, crying makes him feel joy. When you cry, you pour out your sadness and fear all in once just like pouring tea out of a teapot while it almost explodes from the steamy hot air inside it.
"I love you."
Seonghwa doesn't answer his texts, calls, or messages. But that doesn't stop him from trying. This is his destiny set, and it's being left in the darkness alone with no one by his side.
That's his fate.
He just wants to sleep the pain away.
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Sorry? For? The? Angst??
Lmao I'm so sad y'all have to read this. Idek why this story has attention Lol.
But don't worry... ;)
Anyways, just wanted to remind you that I love you precious.🖤