-Chapter 167: I'll Find My Way Back Home
Horobi stares at me and I look away, swallowing hard.
He's been staring at me since he brought me down here because of the Ark. Is there something going on in his mind right now that I should know about? I wonder what he is thinking about at this moment.
"Why do you have so much concern for Zero-One?" Horobi asks me, putting out there what is on his mind. I guess it is time to be honest with the Humagear and stop hiding from the truth.
I look back at him, staring at him in his beautiful dark eyes. "I was in a relationship with Aruto before dating you. He broke up with me because of you," I tell him, being honest and upfront about the relationship I had with Aruto. "We're just friends now because of you."
"He left you because of me?" Horobi's eyes narrow. "Why would he do that? I do not understand why he would give you up just because of me. I can not comprehend doing such a thing."
"He's jealous of the part of my heart that only sees you. I'm not going to pretend that I don't love both of you, alright? I love you both and I'm having issues figuring out what to do in this kind of situation." It is difficult to wrap my mind around all the craziness around me. "It isn't easy to fix things with him either. He's always going to be worried about you since we all know you're alive."
"You thought I was dead and found someone else. That is why you moved on isn't it? I caused problems for you because of that."
"And it was too late to stop myself from falling for him. Horobi, I thought you were the past and I was wrong apparently. Aruto is right that I'm not fully over you all the way. I have to sort through how I feel and make sure I don't turn down the wrong person. You're the first person I've truly loved and he's the second." It isn't easy tossing aside feelings for someone you care for. "Aruto may have been right."
I thought I loved Allen, but I loved the person who he made me see. That's not true love at all. That's not even close to being first love for me. Horobi is my true first love and I cherish that love so much. I still have that love for him. I can't get over the love I have for him because he is still here. At the end of the day, Horobi is someone I have fallen for and I can't escape the love I have for him. I have to face it head on and power through this to make sure I do the right thing for these boys here. Right now, I just have to wait this out to see how I feel later on.
"First love?"
I nod my head. "Yeah, that's what you are to me. It is hard to get over one's first love and that is why I'm having issues getting over you. I don't know if I'll be able to stop loving you, but right now I can't."
"I made things complicated for you again." He looks away from me, looking slightly upset. Is he upset about what happened between us?
"You didn't know about it. My marriage to Gai collapsed and I relied a lot on Aruto when you were out of commission getting repaired." This man is completely refurbished. Minus the module. That's forever gone unless someone decides to repair that part of him somehow.
"I ruined your happiness."
"No, I ruined my own happiness." I shake my head and lift up my hand, bringing up to his face. "I allowed myself to get closer to you again. Aruto was right about there being a problem and I can't be with him unless I figure this all out." And I do desire being with Aruto since he's safe and he makes me comfortable.
I've been cruel to Aruto. I've tried giving him my all, but I just couldn't let Horobi go. Everyone told me he was someone I should worry about, but I didn't believe them. I tossed aside their concerns and kept going like nothing was wrong. It is best for me to sort this out isn't it? That is the right thing to do.
He looks back at me. "Mari, I ended your relationship. You could have started a family with him. You should have."
"And I tried to, Horobi. I really did try to start one with him, but I failed in that. I doubt I'm going to have biological children on my own." I am going to have to pay big money to have them other ways. "But you know what? We have a family, alright? Jin is our son." I have to make the best of my situation, which is one that doesn't involve children in it.
"Ikazuchi is like a son too, but not really mine. He's Jin's brother," Horobi says, bringing up that annoyance. I hate Raiden so much and I want him to vanish.
"I refuse to be his mother," I reply, rolling my eyes. "He's annoying."
Horobi smiles, no longer looking upset. "Are you sure it is fine that we're a family? Are you sure you don't want biological kids more than Jin?"
"I love Jin. He's my son," I answer honestly about how I feel about things right now. "I really see him as my son that I had. Of course, in the adopting a robot kind of way. I can't give birth to a robot."
"My son is your son indeed." He steps closer to me. "I am in love with you, Mari Snow."
"Mari Amatsu. I'm still married to Gai and have to change my name back to what it was before," I tell him, correcting him on the name. It isn't like I want to be Mari Amatsu, but it is what it is.
"I don't see your marriage as a marriage. You're still Mari Snow to me." Aw...Horobi!
"You always sound sweet when talking to me. I don't think you know that you're being sweet, but you are."
"I don't know what that even means."
I laugh. "You don't have to."
I am not sure if he is willing telling me he loves me right now or that it is the Ark's order to make him do that. Is the Ark even talking to them right now? He hasn't really said much about the Ark's current orders to me.
"Mari!"
I turn my head as Naki pushes Jin into the room. "Jin?"
"The Ark...it got Zea," Jin says, informing me of the mess that is going on upstairs. "They said I could leave with you. Aruto is hurt outside and is needing help. Mari, we have to get going now."
"The Ark has got Jin to come and get you to take Aruto home," Horobi says, understanding the current situation more than I do. "Mari, take care. I will see you two later."
"Alright." I turn to Horobi. "I will see you soon." I am not mad at him right now and I don't think I can ever be mad at him.
"Mari, come on!" Jin exclaims.
I take my eyes off Horobi and nod. "I'm coming."
I hope that I will be able to see Horobi again soon and I hope he won't be under the Ark's influence.
~.~
I stare at Aruto as he rests, obviously not in good shape after what the Ark did to him. The Ark...it has control over Zea now. What are we going to do now? What is there that we can do about this mess?
"Aruto..." I place my hand on his face, cupping on side of it. "I hope that you will be alright." I wish I could do something to end this, but I'm useless against the Ark. I should be blaming Gai right now, but he's not here to bitch slap across the face.
I feel so bad for how this all turned out. Aruto looks like he is broken. He shouldn't look this way. How did it come to this?
"You have to get better, alright?" I want him to.
"Mari."
I look over through the corners of my eyes. "Izu..."
"Mari, there is something that he wants us to do right now." Izu holds out something to me. "This is from your company. You're able to run a simulation with it while hooked up the system of Abyss. The Ark will not know anything about what is going on because it blocks out your chip. It'll send the data to me instead. Nina came up with this."
"Izu..." Aruto asked her to do something with me? "Why do we need to run a simulation?" I remove my hand from Aruto's face and swallow a bit.
"Aruto thinks we can figure out something if we do it. We're going to have two different simulations for us. Mari, you're going to experience something that will probably be awful for you. It'll create a new weapon for you, but it'll be awful for you."
This is going to create a new weapon for us? How will it do that? Will it be able to stop the Ark from beating us down each and every single time? Will this finally put an end to all the awfulness in the world?
"Mari, you have to be sure that you want this. It is up to you if we go through with this on your end or not. I do not want to put you through something awful if you don't want to do it."
"Let's do it." I do not want to waste anytime. "I want to do the simulation and stop the Ark with a new weapon. We do not need to put more lives at risk by not taking a huge chance. This is going to be huge isn't it?"
"I think so."
It is going to be huge because it'll seem real for us. It will be like it is actually happening when it isn't and we might see things we don't want to see. One thing I'm hoping not to see is Horobi destroyed. I do not wish to see that. The other thing I don't want to see is Aruto hurt. That is going to be hard to see happen over and over again.
"Alright, let's set you up."
Yeah, let's do this.
A/n: I rewrote a few parts of this chapter before publishing it. I know I'm late on it, but I wanted to change some of the wording so no one misunderstands anything. Aruto and Horobi are on equal playing field right now for Mari's heart. None of this will be solved until way later (no spoilers).
Thank you for reading and waiting for this chapter. I am still working on other updates and it may take me a while due to wanting to perfect the chapters before they're posted.