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Hate. Depression. Anxiety.
If Yeosang could describe his life in three words, Those exactly would be it.
Ever since he's heard the rumor going around, He's started to act differently. He would not go anywhere with Wooyoung, He would just lock himself up in his and Wooyoung's shared bedroom, No matter how much the younger persuaded into telling him to come out, It was no use.
He was truly and utterly starting to fall in love with the elder, Or had already, But things turned into a whole new direction that he had never prepared himself for.
"I don't kiss."
"W-what?"
"I don't kiss, Yeosang."
The way Seonghwa looked once he accused him of such thing. Sad and hurt. But that wasn't going to work on Yeosang, That was going to make him act even more stiff and different than he planned to already.
Right now, 3:00am in the afternoon and he's been dragged to one of the nearby bars by Yunho, Since the elder had been pleading so much. Mingi had asked him out on a date and he asked if it could be a double date with Yeosang, But he refused due to the fact that he still had someone else in his mind. And it certainly was him.
His heart was broken, And his mind was blank. His thoughts were going to combust any minute, And since the music in the background was just too loud and the people were dancing, Making the ground shake up and down just like his weak heart,
"Can I sit?" yeosang looked up at San, who was wearing a weak smile.
"Sure."
San hummed and sat down across from him, "Not into parties, Are you?"
"Definitely not" Yeosang chuckled, "I mean... My head is full of thoughts and this loud music doesn't mend it anyway." he brought the glass of wine to his mouth.
"You have been drinking so much by now," San grabbed the glass and put it down on the table, "May I ask why are you like this?"
"Like what?"
"... Ruined." Hearing those words come from San, Made yeosang's mind go ten miles each second. He really wishes the ground could swallow him, Now he can't stop but embarrass himself in front of San aswell.
Yeosang kisses his teeth, glaring at San who was looking back at him. "Am I really..." he shrugged, "It's..."
"Come on, You know you can trust me. I'm secretive." San put the glass on the other side of the table as Yeosang tried to grab it many times. He couldn't bear seeing the elder drink all night, It was alcohol after all. it wasn't a great thing for health. "Now, Wanna tell me?"
"It's just... I'm mad at seonghwa."
"Seonghwa?" San asked, looking at the younger confusedly.
yeosang began fidgeting with his fingers, he hung his head low. "I..."
"It's okay, You don't have to." yeosang shot his head up and looked at him in shock. "You have been friends with benefits, Haven't you?"
"H-how did you-"
"He told me." san smiled, "So you shouldn't be embarrassed, You can tell me anything."
"Yeah..." yeosang managed to give him a weak smile, "You know about the rumor that's been going around...?" san hummed, "Well... I was starting to feel different towards him and I thought he felt the same... But turns out he still sleeps with other people and that hurt me a lot..."
"How do you know he did?"
"I mean... It's obvious. He didn't even deny." San gave him a strange look, "Okay, He did the second I told him, But he didn't deny anymore."
"I don't know if he did or not, Not do I have the right to talk in this situation, But I'm sure he has an explanation for this."
"I don't care." Yeosang reached for the glass and sipped on it, "And I hate him... for making me feel these things and for breaking my heart. I... I thought we could..." he bit his bottom lip, as if trying not to cry.
San just stayed quiet, Listening to every word carefully. It wasn't his place to tell anything about anyone. But now, Yeosang was in need. He cleared his throat before preparing himself for his next words.
"It I told you I knew all of this, would you listen to me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... I have all of your answers, but you should listen to me first."
"Okay."
San cleared his throat, "Seonghwa... When he was born, His family named him Seonghwa because he was the source of his father's first sincere smile in years." San pauses, Taking a look at yeosang to see if he still got his attention.
"He was a positive, Really loud and talkative kid. His room, His closet... Everything was in rainbow and pastels." San reached for Yeosang's glass and sipped on it, To which the older grunted.
"But one day... Everything turned upside down. He was only thirteen when he found out his mother had cheated on his father on their anniversary. His father asked for divorcement and his mother couldn't stand it, Hence why she committed suicide the night after."
"He was only a kid when these happened, He hadn't even hit his puberty and a lot of things took place. Every night, He would have nightmares about his mother telling him that she isn't resting in peace, And these went on for a very long time."
"As years passed by, He finally hit 17 and we both decided to go to the same highschool since they changed places in town because there wasn't a night he could spend happily in that house, Nor his father. He got popular for his looks and fashion, And also because he was extremely handsome, A lot of people wished to be with him. But there was only one girl that caught his attention, And she was a grade below him."
"However, He managed to get her to go out with him and it happened. They started dating for a few weeks, And they seemed really happy. She was his whole world. Seonghwa started to love again and started to be the rainbow boy I've known before."
"But that didn't last long, When he caught her cheating on him with someone else. That's where he totally changed. He stopped wearing casual outfits and threw all colorful clothings in the trash bin. He started wearing black and being mean to people. He started flirting with everyone and slept with anyone recklessly."
San sighed, "Being the popular boy he was already, He got everything he wanted and with the time passing by, More people started to fall for him. He thought by breaking other people's hearts, he could-"
"-Mend his own." a tear rolled down Yeosang's cheek as he stared at San in utter shock and disbelief.
"Yes... Yeah." san gave him a sad smile. "You really should start to be specific, Yeosang. ever since he's met you, he changed." San nodded, "You fixed him. You made him feel this feeling he didn't feel before. And I'm his own best friend, He shares his secrets with me and if he knows I told you this, He wouldn't be happy with anyone knowing about his past."
"B-but..." Yeosang sobbed, Digging his nails into his palms as his bottom lip quivered nonstop. "How do you know?"
"He told me." The answer was simple, But held a big meaning for Yeosang as he gasped. "But I guarantee you he never cheated on you if there really was something going on between you two."
Yeosang just stayed silent, not finding words to say. This is exactly why Seonghwa never talked about his past, Why he told him he didn't kiss and why he never mentioned the actual reason about choosing to be a player. Now everything is clear.
"I-I need to talk to him."
"Sure you- Wait a minute" san paused and looked at his phone once it vibrated, "Yes Mingi? What? When?" San looked at yeosang, Who seemed to be questioning about what was going on through the phone. "Okay, Okay, I'll do something, Don't cry." San hung up and looked at the waiting male. "Yeosang, He's leaving."
"Wh... What?" Yeosang asked shakily, Voice barely out.
"He's leaving. Exactly in ten minutes. You should go to him." San put his hand on top of his. Although it didn't take a second for Yeosang to jump up from his seat and run towards the exit, But turned around and faced San with tears running down his cheeks. "Go." that was all he needed before he stormed out of the bar and started running.
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"Mr.park, Your plane flies in exactly five minutes. Please stay in line."
Seonghwa nodded and looked at his ticket, Sighing. He knows running away isn't the solution, But he can't face Yeosang after the fiasco that happened between them. he hates him, so why should he stay?
Yeosang entered the airport building with tears running down his cheeks, Breath heavy and legs wobbly from having been running all the way down to there. Looking around everywhere and every line, He finally caught Seonghwa standing in the line, second person.
"Seonghwa!" he yelled, trying to catch his attention.
"Park Seonghwa!" he yelled once more, but Seonghwa never turned around. "Seonghwa!" he put his hands on each side of his mouth, trying to be louder. The curves of his lips turned into a weak smile when seonghwa finally turned around, looking for the source of the voice.
Seonghwa's eyes immediately darted to Yeosang standing far away from him. His mouth opened in shock as he looked at him from the distant, Seeing the way his face looked. Something between sad and broken, He couldn't label it.
"Sir, your fly is here."
"G-give me a minute please," Seonghwa quickly walked out of the line and looked at Yeosang, who ran towards him and a few seconds later, And he was engulfed in a bear hug.
"Where are you going?" yeosang asked against his chest, Voice muffled as he pulled away from the hug to look at the person he's been craving to see for years. Seonghwa was shocked, Completely dozed off. He looked at yeosang for a few seconds before grabbing his ticket and looking at it.
"Orlando."
"Don't go." A tear rolled down Yeosang's cheek, Clutching Seonghwa's leather jacket. "Don't go, Please don't leave me." Yeosang wrapped his arms around his torso and hid his face in seonghwa's neck, Crying like a lost kid.
Seonghwa was beyond confused, but reciprocated the hug nonetheless.
"Please, Reconsider. I don't want you to leave."
"Sir, your fly is here. Please hand me your ticket." Seonghwa looked at the man with nervous eyes, Nothing coming out of his mouth. "Sir, Please, Hand me your ticket."
Seonghwa glared at yeosang's head buried in his chest, Before raising his head and looking at his father who was already in the plain and looking at him through the window.
Taking another quick look at Yeosang, Then back at his father as he shook his head. A few seconds later there was an announcement that everyone should get out of line, and for those who didn't make it, Could try next time.
Yeosang smiled against Seonghwa's chest, Cuddling even further into him. Seonghwa just stayed quiet and brought his hand up, Slowly combing Yeosang's silky hair.
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