This one was a little OOC for zim but I feel like this is a really important chapter. Also I'm now sad so you guys should suffer with me!
I stood in front of Zims house. Honestly, it was the last thing I was prepared to do on a Sunday morning.
We hadn't spoken since Friday and I'd be lying if I said I was completely confident about going to see Zim. Our argument didnt exactly end well and I know for a fact that he hates being ignored.
I'm planning to apologise, but only if he does so too. I have a right to go and see other people and Zim needs to accept that or he cant be my friend.
I knocked on the door.
I took a deep intake of breath nervously as I heard an excitable Gir squealing on the other side before another voice screamed "Computer! Whose at the door?!"
The computers voice remained muffled so I couldnt hear much. The only thing I could recognise was my name.
"Y/n?...." spoke zim through the door, neglecting to open it.
"Zim, could you let me in? I think we should talk about the other day" I asked, keeping my voice low and soft as to not scare him out of it.
He said nothing, but I could hear the lock of the door click before it swung open.
Zim wasnt wearing his disguise, which suprised me. His eyes avoided my gaze and his antennae laid flat against his head. He held his hands close to his chest until Gir walked past with a soda in his mouth.
The little robot marched out in his disguise, loudly claiming that he'll be back later. Zims eyes followed and remained stuck on his assistant, watching him walk off, antennae now shot up in alert. They stayed like that until Gir had vanished out of sight.
His eyes finally met my own. He took a breath and pushed the door open further and walking into his house. I followed him in, taking a seat on the couch beside him.
"so...." I started awkwardly. His gaze fell on me, making me shrink and my confidence fall.
"Why are you here?" He asked, turning away with gritted teeth. His tone was harsh but there was something else in his tone that I couldnt quite pick up on.
I attempted getting back on track.
"I'm here because I dont want to argue." I took a breath. He didnt turn around but his eyes were locked on me. "I know we both said some stuff that we didnt really mean so I think we should talk about it"
"Talk about it? What good would that do?" He questioned bitterly, frowning.
"Zim, it's ok. Sometimes people inevitably end up having small arguments. And that's ok because we can talk about it and resolve it. But we both need to recognise what we did wrong" I answered, placing a hand on his shoulder.
He flinched at the touch and his body tensed. However, he nodded at my words, slowly turning to me.
"So what did we do wrong?"
"Well what do you think went wrong?" I asked, hoping hed see his mistake.
"Hmm..." he thought to himself before snapping his finger and pointing in realisation "Oh! You refused to come over yesterday! That's what went wrong!"
I groaned in annoyance, burying my face in my hands. Zim tilted his head in confusion.
"Zim, did YOU do anything wrong?" I asked, urging him to realise it on his own.
"Uh...." he froze is shock. Did he finally realise what he did?!
He shook "Ah ALRIGHT I CONFESS!" he screamed out. Finally I was going to get him to admit tha-
"I stole those stupid radioactive substances to power up a new weapon!!" he yelled, looking away suspiciously before turning back to face me with a grin "but they are rather impressive. I actually wanted to show you yester-"
I was concerned about whatever radioactive nonsense he stole but I wasnt here for that and hs knew it. I wanted him to take our friendship seriously.
"ZIM!" I interrupted, growing more and more frustrated and more and more desperate. I gave up.
"I'm talking about our argument!" I stated as clear as I possibly could. "You and I had an argument and I want to fix it. But if your not going to take it seriously, I think I should just leave" I explained, about to stand.
I was pushed back down by a guilty looking Zim. His antennae were drooping and his eyes focused on the floor. That was strange.
"Wait, y/n....I...I know you were referring to that....I just...hoped we could forget about it" he admitted, slowly pulling his hands away from my shoulders.
"Why are you avoiding it?" I asked, sitting back against the couch.
"....because I dont understand it" his expression became more and more conflicted. I couldnt decipher whatever was going on in his mind.
"What do you mean?"
He glanced back at me, "why were you unable to visit me yesterday?" He asked.
"I was out with a friend...wait! Are you changing the subject?"
He looked down again and his antennae were even flatter on his head. So flat, it looked like he had none.
"I thought I was your friend..." he muttered. It was barely above a whisper, but I caught it.
"Of course your my friend, that's what I've wanted the entire time we've known eachother" I confessed, shifting closer to him on the couch and grabbing his arm lightly. He didnt flinch this time, but he still remained tense. "I can have multiple friends Zim. I'm just a little upset that you wanted me to cancel my plans. Sometimes I need to focus on other activities and talk to other friends"
Zim didnt change his demeanour and his expression started to strain a little.
"Do you like this friend?"
"Yes"
His expression remained the same. "You didnt tell her about my existence did you!?"
"Of course not!" I yelled back
"Dont lie to me!"
His yelling was controlled, he held back. It was obvious.
"We just hung out!" I reassured, though it didnt seem to improve his reaction.
His eyes grew bigger and his breath was shaking. He was stiff in his spot too. He was holding back a lot of his thoughts. And all at once, it burst.
"Why did you go? Do you want to tell them about me? To expose me to, yet, another human? Are you going to leave!?" He yelled, his expression becoming more and more strained by each question. Was this really how he felt? He was no longer holding back. It was like a leaky dam. It just...Burst
It was like he was searching for my approval. Was that what he's been doing? Is that why hes acted strangely, offering to take me to space, taking off his disguise, or asking me to come and see his plans? That was all him seeking validation.
I'm sure that this isnt the only reason for his outburst. There was much to uncover with Zim, but I knew that this was all set off by one final blow or rejection.
The amount of times he expanded his ego made it hard to actually see the plea in his eyes when he showed anyone something. I understood seeking approval from his leaders, but seeking approval from a species he claimed to hate, whether he knew it or not, was rather worrying.
"Zim, do you think that I would just abandon you because I have another friend?" I asked after a moment of shock. Zim appeared to tremble a little in his spot. His eyes travelling frantically around, landing on anything but me.
He remained silent, not at all wanting to meet my gaze. His breathing remained heavy and the trembling ceased to end. I felt guilty. He felt so insecure and I wasnt able to figure that out. Now he's panicked over the idea that I might enjoy Lori's company over his. I should've seen the signs.
I knew more than anyone that Zim refused to be touched but...he might need it, right now.
"Zim, you might not like what I'm about to do, and if you dont I'll stop. But you look like you need this" I explained.
Before he could question me I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. I could feel him stiffen up against me, still trembling slightly. But he rested his head against the crook of my neck, now hugging back. His grip was tight, as if he feared letting go would allow for me to disappear forever.
I rubbed my hand against his back just as I felt a warm liquid fall against my shoulder. Wait, was he...was Zim crying? I guess he was more insecure than I thought.
"I'm never going to leave you for Lori, okay? I just wanted to have a day off from the alien stuff. I'm still only human and it can be overwhelming. Your still my best friend and the coolest guy in the entire galaxy." I explained, rubbing his back slowly.
My grip on him tightened, in hopes to reassure him that I was still there and equally wanted him as my friend. I never thought he'd willingly show me this side to him. It was strange.
This Irken just sought out my approval. I wish I knew then what I know now.
Zim was practically collapsed in my hold, at this point. It was like he lost the motive and strength to stand on his own. Like he just.....gave up.
I didnt like it. This wasnt like Zim.