"..." Zhao Yunlan remains silent making Shen Wei worried.
"Ah Lan? Please say something. Why are you sad?" Shen Wei gently coaxes when he is in front of Zhao Yunlan now. They are merely a couple of inches apart.
"Xiao Wei..." Zhao Yunlan breathes out with a wounded sound, still looking sad making Shen Wei wish whatever is bothering his Ah Lan, bothers him instead. He really can't bear to see the hurt look on Zhao Yunlan at all.
Another reason why Shen Wei hasn't confronted Zhao Yunlan yet about his secretive conversation about him and no matter how lonely he has been feeling lately because Yunlan is too busy. Shen Wei knows that once his thoughts come out in the open, it will either make his Ah Lan feel guilty, sad or upset, which is not something Shen Wei willingly wants at all. He prefers to suffer alone if it means Yunlan is happy.
"Hmm.? I'm here Ah Lan. What is it?" Shen Wei continues to soothingly wheedle while softly rubbing his thumps over Yunlan's back of hands that usually calms Yunlan down.
"I thought I would end up spending today alone here. I finally got a day to relax, and wanted to spend it with you alone but you were nowhere to be found." Zhao Yunlan answers grimly after feeling better having his Wei within his reach. To Yunlan, having his Xiao Wei close is like having a safety blanket over him all the time, making him feel calm, warm and safe and most importantly, it makes him happy.
"Oh... I'm sorry Ah Lan. I had to help Uncle Chu early in the morning and I had plan already and wad running late so I didn't get a chance to tell you... "
Shen Wei hesitates for a moment before continuing, "and I didn't know that you are free today... you never told me... you been so busy these days that I thought you had forgotten about me."
Shen Wei unconsciously blurts out his deep thoughts that he wasn't planning on telling him at all but after a long time, having Yunlan's full attention on him, safety sweetly lures him into confessing his worries. It is too late to take it back, so Shen Wei decides to be honest with him.
However, Shen Wei wasn't able to keep his eyes contact with Zhao Yunlan after saying that. He is afraid of seeing Zhao Yunlan's expressions after his confession.
Seeing the sad expression on his beautiful Xiao Wei makes him panic with worries. It is shocking to learn that his actions are the reasons behind it. Even knowing his past actions have been unintentional, the boiling rage towards himself can't be assuage for making his beloved person feel hurt, but he is also feeling hurt because his Xiao Wei believes that he is capable of forgetting him, his only heart! Talk about bad joke of the century.
After taking a couple of good deep breaths in and exhaling long breaths out, "Xiao Wei!" Fine, maybe he isn't calm after all.
Zhao Yunlan is taken back from his own uncontrollable shaking and stern deep voice, but he continues.
"Xiao Wei. I will never forgets you, EVER! What makes you even think about such a ridiculous idea!?" Yunlan yells, Zhao Yunlan could care less if he is sounding too desperate. There is no ego when it comes to his Wei. Even if he had to beg on his knees for Shen Wei, he would happily do it because there is no price worthy of Shen Wei, his beloved little precious angel.
Unfortunately for Shen Wei, hearing Yunlan loud yell, Shen Wei got scared that Yunlan mad at him now and slowly try to retract his hands that were holding unto Yunlan's hands.
Fortunately, Zhao Yunlan sees through his Xiao Wei attempts and quickly grasps Wei's wrists and pulls Shen Wei into his warm embrace while rubbing his back in comfort. After a few seconds of debating, Shen Wei wraps his arms around Yunlan's waist and locks his arm tightly while placing his head above Yunlan's left shoulder.
Smelling familiar comforting scent from Yunlan's warm body, Shen Wei body goes limp, and his muscles relaxing on reflex because it has been a while since they have been this close, but his body still remember its safe place. Finally... oh finally, Shen Wei's dry and deserted heart is getting some well deserve sprinkle of waters. Oh, how happy he feels right now. Shen Wei can only wish that this is not his delusional heart messing with his brain, creating temporary relief.
Please... let this be real... Ah Lan is real... Shen Wei find himself pleading and take couple more deep breaths of Yunlan's body odor while closing his eyes shut tightly and concentrate his senses on the body that is pressing into his, a familiar fresh earthly odor that Yunlan's body gives off.
After long silence in each other's embrace, Shen Wei break it by asking,
"When was the last time we actually spent time together, Ah Lan? Do you even remember, because I don't!" Shen Wei meant to scream but his voice comes out wobbly and quiet. Zhao Yunlan can feel Shen Wei's body shivering in his embrace.
"Oh God. Wei ah Wei. Please don't cry. I'm sorry for making you feel lonely. I honestly didn't realize that my busy schedule has been hurting you this much..." Zhao Yunlan consoles sniffing Shen Wei who is trying to silently cry but his sobs come out nevertheless, making Zhao Yunlan's heart break into many pieces. It is as if someone brutally snatched his heart out from his body and shreds it into millions of pieces with knives without mercy!
*Sniffing sound*
"No. Ah Lan did nothing wrong... " Zhao Yunlan wishes to disagree but the shake of Shen Wei's head stops him.
"I understand that you are busy, but I still feel sad that we don't spend our time together anymore. I hate that you always find excuses to push me out when I try to stay over at your home when I'm feeling insecure. I can't help but feel hurt and unwanted." Shen Wei pouring out his soul to Yunlan who is silently listening and continues to soothe him gently. However, internally cursing himself while burying his head in the croak of Shen Wei's neck.
You are fucking stupid Zhao Yunlan! How could you forget that Xiao Wei is sensitive to his surroundings like this! You should have known that your actions have always been weighed carefully inside him. Oh God, how stupid did I became!? Zhao Yunlan curses himself and tightened his hold on Shen Wei.
"Shen Wei, Xiao Wei, my Weiwei-" Yunlan purrs while nuzzling at his neck playfully making Shen Wei temporarily stop crying and blush hearing his Ah Lan calling him his Weiwei and feeling ticklish. Zhao Yunlan is trying to ease the tension and it works like a charm. Now, Shen Wei is not shivering or crying anymore, making Yunlan release a sigh slowly and making himself more relaxes.
Yunlan knows that this conversion is something they really need to have right now and solve the issue at hand. But it can only work if both release some tension first and teasing his Xiao Wei is the first step. He doesn't have time to invent a new method right now. Really, he doesn't.
"I know I messed up really badly. No apologies in the world can amend the fact that I hurt you. Fuck! I want to kick myself for hurting you! Additionally, no matter what type of punishment I wish to receive from you will never be enough to make it up to you."
Yunlan pause for a moment and continues,
"But Xiao Wei, why didn't you tell me earlier instead of letting it eat you to this point? Didn't we promise to talk to each other if something is bothering one another? Or have I wounded you badly to the point that promise does not hold its value anymore?" Zhao Yunlan asks and feels Shen Wei's body going stiff and then slowly tightening the grasp around his waist.
"No, Yunlan. I still remember but I was too afraid that you would think I'm being too clingy to you. I came to believe that... that's why you have been pushing me away from you when I want to spend time with you. That maybe you feel uncomfortable having me around you all the time..."
*Sniffing sounds* Wei started to cry again while confessing.
"I know over time, people change, their priority changes as well. To you, I was your priority before, but perhaps that change as you grew up. I didn't want to hear the respond from your mouth if my speculation is correct. It would hurt a lot more." Shen Wei breathe out before pausing for a moment and reluctantly release his tight grasp on Yunlan with the intention of breaking the hug, but Yunlan has no such intention at all. He only embraces him tighter making Shen Wei almost wince in pain, but he is able to stifle his voice right before his sound came out.
"Wei, listen carefully to me. The world can abandon you; your friends can abandon you, and your family can abandon you, but I highly doubt Uncle Chu and Da Ge would, wait... that's not the point right now..." Yunlan caught himself going off track which did bring a smile on Wei's lips and focus back on his pressing point
"BUT I will always be there by your side till the end. If that entitles us fighting against the rest of the world, so be it. I will happily fight alongside you. Only the dead of me can take me away from you." Yunlan seriously explains and Shen Wei can feel honesty and sincerity oozing out from each word Yunlan said and couldn't help but to believe in Yunlan's declaration.
Before Shen Wei was aware of his own action, he already starts to devour Yunlan's plums lips with his rosy lips as if it is his last meal before death.
********************************************
A/N: Yayyyyy 💖💖💖💘. Thank you everyone for waiting patiently for my update. I hope this chapter is to your liking.
P.S: There is second part to his chapter which I will upload in two days like usual. Please enjoy~~
Till next Chapter, my dearies💖