-Chapter 91: I'll Play Right Along
"What has changed you into being Gai's loyal wife?"
I look at Yua as I hold up my coffee to my lips. What has changed me? Well, a lot of things has changed me recently.
Gai has made it clear that he would ruin my life if his image is tarnished by any of my mistakes and I know that it is wrong to do so. So, I have to play along with our marriage. It is fake anyways. It isn't like he married me for any reason that matters. He just wants to use me and I want to use him. I want to use him until I can get free.
"You two don't get along. It makes no sense to go on a honeymoon trip and then come back all happy like you two have never fought before in your lives."
"Because I'm seeing things the right way now. He has done what he could for me because he understands me."
I place the scissors down and tip over the package of herbal grossness into the sink. I'll do this everyday until none of them are left. If I keep doing that, I won't have to worry about it. I'm not taking a chance that this gets me pregnant. I don't want his child and refuse to let him have the chance to have one with me.
"We're happy together now." Not.
I can't just tell her what he told me. It wouldn't make sense to her because it probably isn't the entire truth. He's holding back on something in my opinion, which makes me curious about what the real reason for marrying me is.
"You weren't thinking anything nice about him before. Did the bedroom change your mind? I have heard that good sex can make people change their view on things."
Does she really think I'm that weak? Sex isn't enough to convince me to stay in a crappy marriage. Sure, it's completely nice sex, but sex isn't all there is to a marriage or relationship. If Gai would have been honest with me from the start, I would have turned him down.
"The sex isn't bad at all and he is good at what he does, but that didn't change my mind. What changed my mind was thinking over things and understanding it from his view. Sure, he did unforgivable things to me, but I have to move on from it and evolve." And backstab him.
I take a sip of my coffee and swallow it, staring her in the eyes as she looks away from me. She seems disappointed. She has worked so hard to keep me from being with him any longer and now I have made that work useless. I'm sure she knows he threatened me, but does she know what it was that he did to do so?
"I find it odd that you're willing to stand down now. First you want a HumaGear that is rogue and the next you're wanting Aruto Hiden. Now you're saying that you've changed your mind entirely and that you want President Amatsu, right?"
I shake my head and sigh a bit. "No, that isn't what I'm trying to say. I didn't change my mind on my feelings for Aruto and Horobi, but my feelings for Gai. I don't hate him as much as before." I still dislike him heavily though. He shouldn't have screwed around with me and I have so many reasons in the world to feel hateful towards him, but I need to let it go so I don't get on his level.
Being able to talk to Gai about a few new topics that I didn't have knowledge on before has opened my eyes a bit to how he is. He doesn't usually break laws it seems. I think he only breaks laws when it comes to protecting his precious image. He can't have that ruined.
"He's only violated certain laws with you. He made your marriage license go through a faster process with his influence," Yua states. "You don't understand what he can do if he can do that, Mari. You're in danger by being with him." I know that he's a dangerous man and that is why I have to stay with him for now.
"I don't know if he used money or not." It isn't any of my business either. The less I know about it, the better. "It isn't my business to know what he has been doing, Yua."
"I am sure he just spoke to them. It still isn't right to do, but anything for his image." She looks at me and looks me over. "And you."
"I am sure nothing influenced him to have me besides Abyss." I'm his tool to use whenever he wants, but so far he hasn't actually used me to his advantage. What was the point of me being hooked up to Abyss then?
"I am curious about something. How come you didn't get killed by Horobi when hanging around MetsubouJinrai." She wants to know why they didn't kill me? I can't tell her that.
I shrug. "I have no clue why they didn't hurt me. I guess there is just something about me that they liked." The chip kept them from it according to Gai. If they would have done something, it probably would have drove them insane or made the Ark upset, which would be weird to have happen.
"You're back on your hormones now aren't you? Gai was on the phone earlier with your doctor and reported that you're on it. I couldn't help but overhear it." Yua is curious about that now? Interesting.
"It is the right thing for me to do. Gai told me that it would be great for me to get serious about having a family."
"Do you really want to have one with him? I thought you were supposed to get with Aruto." She's surprised that I have changed my tune, but why? She surely knows how it is since she's loyal to him for unknown reasons.
"Things change."
"I doubt it changes for you."
It isn't that my plan has totally changed either. If I want to get away from Gai, it'll have to be through other ways. I'm sure if I got on a plane right now and left the country, he would just get on one too or have Yua go after me. I'm not going to try that at all unless I think I have to try it.
"He knows you're going to come back to him doesn't he? You're not able to leave your marriage to him," Yua asks, hitting the nail on the head. "Just what did he talk about with you and Aruto that one day? I didn't hear any of the conversation."
I look down. "It wasn't anything important."
I feel her hands go on my shoulder and I look up as she stares in my eyes, looking concerned. She knows what he said. She is one hundred percent aware of what he did to keep me in the marriage now.
"Mari, has he-"
I shake my head. "He doesn't hurt me without my permission. If I want something done, I have it done to me." It isn't like Gai's forcing me to have sex with him. He leaves it up to me if I want him to get into bed with me or not, which is the nicest thing he has done for me.
"But don't you want to break free and be with Aruto?" She shakes me a bit. "Mari, what are you doing? You can be with him if you want."
I remove her hands from my shoulders with my free hand and shake my head. "No, I can't be with him when he's in danger. Gai made it clear what will happen if I do go to Aruto and leave him. He'll ruin him just like Allen ruined me."
I made my decision when Gai made the offer to let me be with Aruto. The consequences of picking Aruto over him were too much for me and I decided against being with him due to that. Gai really forced my hand there since he knew what I would decide. He knew I would prioritize Aruto's health and safety.
"I can-"
I shake my head. "Don't."
"What is going on here?" Gai's voice asks and I look down, tears leaving my eyes. How can I cry right now?
"I was just telling her that she should be more aware of her surroundings. She was paranoid about something so I've been trying to comfort her," Yua lies. No, she wants me to break free from Gai for some reason.
"Mari, let's get you home so you can relax. You seem on edge," Gai suggests. He's only doing this to keep me sheltered from the rest of the world.
"Y-yes, that is a great idea. I want to go home," I respond, lying. "I am tired right now and need to rest." Yua was nice for offering her assistance, but she'll end up tangled up in a web she doesn't belong in.
"Alright, I'll take her there. Yua, please stay here working. You can dump her coffee out," Gai tells Yua. "That is probably putting her more on edge." I feel a hand on my hand with the coffee in it.
"Oh, sorry," I mutter out, letting Gai take the coffee from me. He holds out it to Yua and she takes it quickly, not questioning it. She looks so dead inside and I think it has to do with something my husband has over her head.
"Yes, sir," Yua responds, sounding a bit upset. I really upset her just now didn't I? She really doesn't want me to be with Gai any longer.
"Come, Mari."
I hate going home with him, but I have to play wife only for a bit longer.