Harry had never been more ashamed to share a house with Ron Weasley than he was right now. The same could be said for the rest of Gryffindor as well.
After the debacle that was the youngest Weasley male literally bringing the roof down, the houses were all in their common rooms. They were waiting for their respective heads of houses to inform them about the repairs and if classes would go on as usual.
"Ronald Billius Weasley, what in the name of Merlin were you thinking," Percy was yelling at his youngest brother. "You stole dad's car and crashed it through the ceiling of the Great Hall. It is a miracle from Merlin that no one was hurt or worse.
Fred and George were both quite happy that Dumbledore let Percy stay with them, as it was their family in the middle of this. Especially since Percy, they knew, would deliver one hell of a scolding.
"Well, how was I supposed to get to school," Ron was pouting like a four-year-old denied sweets. "The platform gate was closed before I went in."
"I don't know anything about that gate closing, but you could have simply asked mum or dad to apparate you to the front gates and explain what happened," Percy continued to scold him.
That was when Harry couldn't help but facepalm. He knew what had happened. And it was annoying.
"Olivia," he mumbled to himself. "Just had to predict that the gate was sealed by wizard magic. Since her magic wore off and time moved back to the point that it was sealed, it was stronger than wizard magic."
"Did you say something, Harry," Neville asked.
"Just thinking of my cousin's most recent magic mess that she had caused," Harry waved off. "Other than the one time she accidentally became the mascot for a brand of rum in America."
"What's rum," Neville asked.
"It's a... uh..." Harry did not like the idea of explaining an alcoholic beverage to his very innocent friend. "Don't worry about it. It was fixed."
"Okay," Neville accepted. "When do you think Professor McGonagall will talk to us?"
"They're probably fixing the Great Hall, so it's anyone's guess," Harry shrugged. "I'm just hoping we'll at least have somewhere to have breakfast in the morning."
"Glad to know where your priorities lie," Neville joked.
"Just because I don't act like it, doesn't mean I don't have the appetite of a hungry lion," Harry snickered. "You should see me when there's a bougatsa for me to devour."
"A what," Neville asked.
"It's a dish we mainly serve for breakfast," Harry explained. "It's a delicious pastry that's filled with custard, cheese, or minced meat before being layered with filo. I prefer custard, of course. It's quite similar to tiropita, which is a filo and custard pie in the shape of a triangle."
"So, what do you think is going on in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw," Neville changed the subject.
"Why don't we find out," Harry smirked, pulling out his mirror phone. "They'll get a kick out of seeing Weasley being yelled at by Percy."
"Just to let you know, I didn't really know how to turn the mirror you gave me on, so it was only when you messaged me that I was able to use it," Neville informed him.
Harry laughed, realizing how the three of them forgot to explain the mirrors to their friends when they gave them to the four. They were just so used to being around those that knew how to use them that explaining the mirrors easily slipped their minds.
"Sorry about that," Harry says. "We'll make sure to fix that later."
He tapped a few things on his screen. He tilted his screen and two holograms soon appeared over his mirror phone. It was the heads, and part of the shoulders, of his twin siblings.
"Weasley getting yelled at by Percy," Melody immediately guessed, a smile on her face.
"Yep," Harry said.
"Some people are just stupid," Krinos says.
"Sit back and enjoy the show, brother and sister of mine," Harry leaned back in his own chair.
He faced his mirror phone toward the scolding Ravenclaw, the scene appearing as a holographic television screen to the twins.
"If the platform was closed, how would mum and dad have gotten back to help me," Ron tried to defend himself.
"The platform may be able to close from your side, but it doesn't work like that for both ways," Percy told his brother.
"How was I supposed to know that," Ron yelled at him.
"Common sense," Fred and George responded, shrugging.
"Like you two wouldn't have done the same thing," Ron glared at his prankster twin brothers.
"Not even we," Fred started.
"Would be that dumb," George says.
"Dad doesn't have enough," Fred said.
"Respect at work," George continued.
"As it is," Fred says.
"This is the last thing we'd ever do," they finished together.
"Their twin speak is a lot worse than ours," Krinos stated, Melody nodding in agreement.
"You were seen by over a dozen muggle when you took the car," Percy yelled at Ron. "Do you have any idea how serious breaking the Statute of Secrecy is! You could be sent to Azkaban. DAD could be sent to Azkaban! All because of your reckless stupidity."
"As if you can talk about what something can do to our family after what you did," Ron threw at Percy.
"And what have I done," Percy's glare intensified.
"You turned your back on being a Weasley the moment you let yourself be sorted into the house of know-it-all bookworms," Ron sneered. "The first Weasley to be sorted anywhere other than Gryffindor in two-hundred years."
"I feel like I should be insulted," Melody said.
"Pretty sure that he just insulted the whole of Ravenclaw," Krinos says.
"I would so have screamed his ears off by now if we hadn't been trying to keep out kind's existence a secret," Melody grumbled.
Thankfully, Neville didn't hear her other than some faint mumbling.
"I have gone over this more times than I can count," Percy looked ready to strangle his little brother. "Being sorted into a house other than Gryffindor does not mean that I dishonored the family. Thing like what you just did are why the other purebloods make fun of the Weasley family. And if you hadn't noticed, dad has no problem with me being a Ravenclaw."
"Dad has never cared about how we look," Ron sneered. "Mum was right when she said that you should be resorted. You can't be a Weasley if you aren't a Gryffindor."
"Pathetic," the Gardna trio
"What are you doing," an annoying voice asked, though it sounded more like demanding.
Harry and Neville turned, Harry also turning his mirror phone with him. Once again, it was Granger that was bothering them.
"Do you have any sense of privacy or personal space," Harry was really ready to go full lion and scare her out of their lives.
"What are you using? What are those things? They have to be against the rules," she went into rapid-fire mode.
"It's called a mirror phone, Granger," Krinos said. "Pretty common where we're from. The Evil Queen's magic mirror was what inspired its creation."
"Grimhilde might not have been the most charming of monarchs, but she had some handy magic," Melody smirked.
"Not the most charming," Krinos looked at his sister. "She ripped out the hearts of those that didn't agree with her. Including her own parents, I add."
"Those are against the ru..." Hermione tried.
"There is no rule against us having, or using, our mirror phones or mirror pads," Harry told the annoying girl.
"Can't you learn to stay away from us," Melody raised her eyebrow.
She opened her mouth to respond, but Krinos beat her to it.
"Since you were obviously about to open that large mouth again, you can't," Krinos said.
With that, the mirror went blank and Harry got up. He and Neville went up to bed, Harry smiling at Percy scolding Ron on their way past them.
Come morning, the four houses were told that the hall would be fixed by the end of the day, right before dinner was to be served. Classes, meanwhile, would go on as usual. Harry had smiled when he saw Defense Against the Dark Arts first with Hufflepuff. Much better than having it with Slytherin and Malfoy being his pompous self.
The duo of Harry and Neville met Krinos on their way to the Defense classroom. Having reached the room, they all went inside and prayed for a better teacher than stuttering and possessed Professor Quirrell. But when they looked up at the teacher, the two brother's jaws dropped in horror.
When the whole class was seated, Gilderoy Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell. He reached forward, picked up Neville's copy of Travels with Trolls, and held it up to show his own winking portrait on the front. Looking next to him, Neville saw the Gardna brothers about ready to either kill or faint. It was hard to tell. But they weren't happy faces, he could tell you that.
"Allow me to introduce you all to your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Me," he said, pointing at the book cover and winking as well. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her"
He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly.
"You didn't get rid of it, you lying son of a fury," Harry growled under his breath.
"You can't do anything other than spread lies," Krinos' knuckles were turning white from how hard he was clutching his fists.
"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books. Well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about. Just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in," he had handed out the test papers and returned to the front of the class. "You have thirty minutes... starting... now!"
Harry looked down at his paper and his horror only grew.
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
On and on it went, over three papers, right down to 54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
Krinos and Harry looked at each other and smirked. This was their moment to stir up trouble for the fraud.
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? Harry wrote "Flash, the color that a camera makes when it takes his picture." Krinos wrote "Green. Because he is envious of witches and wizards that have skill while he has none."
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? Krinos' answer was "To continue fooling the incredibly gullible people of England to believe he is a hero who he is a fraud." Harry's was "To make people outside of England believe his lies."
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? Harry answered with "Being able to fool an entire country that he is a hero when all he does is take credit for things that others did." Krinos was not as nice with his "Being able to escape the Greek justice system when he was caught trying to erase the memories of a witch that defeated a fury and he had been about to be tried for fraud, attempted obliviation, and numerous other crimes."
When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be? Both brothers had similar answers to that question with answers basically saying "Who cares about the date when all he would need is a paper bag to hide his face when his secrets are revealed."
Every one of their answers were all making fun of their "professor" in one way or another. So when Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class, they waited to see his reaction to their papers.
"Tut, tut. Hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully. I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and nonmagic peoples. Though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky."
He gave them another roguish wink. The brothers were staring at Lockhart with expressions of disbelief and disgust on their faces. Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and Justin Finch-Flenchy were sitting in front and shaking with silent laughter. Hermione, on the other hand, was listening to Lockhart with rapt attention. It seems that the girls in the room were all looking at him like he was some sort of angel come down to earth.
"But Miss Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions. Good girl! In fact," he flipped her paper over, "full marks! Where is Miss.Hermione Granger?"
Hermione raised a trembling hand.
"He is a giant fraud, but at least someone can make the know-it-all be silent," Krinos commented to his brother.
"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And so... to business... "
He paused as he finally seemed to get to Harry and Krinos' tests. Just looking through a few of their answers, it greatly unnerved him. Their names had just been signed by the symbols of the amulets around their necks, not that he would ever make the connection. While he was trying to keep his composure, he bent down behind his desk and lifted a large covered cage onto it.
"Now... be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."
In spite of themselves, Harry and Krinos leaned forward to have a better look at the cage. If only just because it would most likely be something ridiculous that would only be dangerous was because he was incompetent. Lockhart placed a hand on the cover. Dean and Seamus had stopped laughing now. Neville was cowering in his seat.
"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice. "It might provoke them."
As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.
"Yes," he said dramatically. "Freshly caught Cornish pixies."
Seamus Finnigan couldn't control himself. He let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.
"Yes?" He smiled at Seamus.
"Well, they're not... they're not very... dangerous, are they?" Seamus choked.
"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Seamus. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be!"
"Tricksters don't mean dangerous," Krinos says. "Fairies are known to hide things and make people act childish at times yet they aren't dangerous."
"Dangerous tricksters would more likely be the gremlins, trolls, or imps in the world," Harry stated.
Lockhart ignored them as he continued with the pixies. The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.
"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!"
And he opened the cage.
It was instant pandemonium. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino. They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, upended the wastebasket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window; within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Neville was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.
"Come on now. Round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted before he rolled up his sleeves and bellowed out a spell. "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"
It had absolutely no effect; one of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk, narrowly avoiding being squashed by Neville, who fell a second later as the chandelier gave way. Harry and Krinos dived out of the way to avoid the crashing ceiling decoration.
The bell rang and there was a mad rush toward the exit as Gryffindor and Hufflepuff students raced out of the classroom. In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, caught sight of Harry, Krinos, Neville, Ron, and Hermione, who were almost at the door.
"Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." He swept back up to his office and shut the door quickly behind him.
"Can you believe him?" roared Ron as one of the remaining pixies bit him painfully on the ear.
"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience," said Hermione, immobilizing two pixies at once with a clever Freezing Charm and stuffing them back into their cage.
"Hands-on experience," Harry snapped, who slapped a pixie away from his cloak. "Granger, he doesn't have a clue what he is doing. He's completely incompetent."
"Rubbish," said Hermione. "You've read his books. Look at all those amazing things he's done."
"He says he's done," Krinos corrected. "Just because he says he's done it and have books that's written about it, doesn't make it true."
"You're wrong," Hermione stated.
"Whatever," Harry rolled his eyes, then a pixie tried to take his amulet from around his neck. "Oh, I have had it with these things."
He and Krinos raised their wands and shouted "Imobulous" into the pixies. They all froze in the air.
"Why is it always me," Neville says, above them.
"Oh gods," Krinos swore, seeing their friend hanging from the second chandelier.