Beautiful Scars | Maximillian
I need the voice to stop but what can I do? When all I could hear is the voice over and over again.
I keep cutting myself and it's not even right. It's wrong. Nora is right, I have to tell someone or I'll just follow what the voice will say.
No one would believe you. They will think you're possessed.
I think that's true. I don't know what to do!
"Allah please help,"I whisper and heard a ring on my phone.
I picked it and looked to see a message from Olivia. My eyes widen in shock.
Olivia: Got you again!
Olivia: Seems like your a cutter, huh. Must suck.
Olivia: It's everywhere, it seems like you've fallen into your own trap.
Olivia: Thanks to the boys, seems like they did well with the plan I made.
Olivia: Goodbye now.
Olivia: Psychotic Bitch.
What just happen? Is she serious, so all of what she apologized for was a lie.
Told you, no one cares.
She's right, no one cares. I'm a psychotic bitch. I can't even believe that I was so stupid. Now, what are they going to do?
Will my parents just send me to a mental hospital and the boys ignore me. They will leave me like they said so it must be true. They played me.
I should've known. Once a player is always a player. I'm just shocked he had to go this big.
"Sara?"I heard a knock on the door and looked at my phone with my hands shaking.
They still won't care, people who are rude or mean, can't change. They never will until you die.
I shook my head and turned off the phone. I put it down and let them knock.
Why am I always hurt? I'm either in pain or either in the shame of everything. Allah! Why did you make it so difficult!
"SARA! Open the door or I'll break it, AGAIN!"I sighed and went by the door.
If I let them break the door my parents would be mad since this door was fixed like a few months ago.
I touched the handle and turned to the lock. I twist the knob and opened to see Jin staring at me shocked.
How is he so calm? He did all of it anyway. He made this happen anyway. He caused me to feel the pain no one else could. How could he lie!
It's the way life is, it's a lie.
He came closer and I bit my lip. "Stop moving."
"Just stay a few steps back,"I told him slowly and he glanced back.
"Uh, Okay."He said walking back and stood there staring at my shirt.
"Sara? Your okay right? You seem like someone who's regretting and who's guilty."He told me and I glared at him.
"I'm fine, if that's what you're asking. Seems like someone is really playing a game."I told him and he raised an eyebrow confused.
Told you, no one cares and everyone lies.
"A game? Like Pokémon, I mean you're wearing the shirt. Honestly, I was going to ask where you bought it."I rolled my eyes at him as he smiled.
"Seriously!"
"Yeah, why? Can I not ask you where you bought the shirt?"He asked him rubbing his right hand behind his neck.
Yeah, just break it up.
"It's over, IM BREAKING IT UP! It's done. Happy? You can laugh with your friends about what you did!"I yelled and he stared at me shocked.
This really hurts. I don't want to do this at all. I didn't want my life to end this way.
"W..wait, explain to me what's going on? Did I do something wrong?"He asked coming closer but I moved back.
He such a liar, he just wanted you to die after all.
"You went out there helping Olivia, you sabotaged me in front of everyone and you're asking me what's wrong here?"I told him and started laughing.
"You really went all that just to hurt me, great job with whatever you're going to get."
"But I didn't do anything, you can ask the boys. I don't know who the hell Olivia is!"He almost screamed which made me flinch.
I've told you so many times that people are liars and yet you believe them. Don't you see, everything happened because you forgave them, helped them and listened to them. You should've just died anyway.
"Sara, just listen to me. Whatever has been said is not true, why don't we sit and talk? Relax, I promise you I haven't done anything."He told me until I saw the hurt in his eyes which made me sigh.
Relax my ass, Your gonna have to run.
"You really think I'm going to sit now?"I asked him and he nods.
I'm hurt, I don't know what to believe. He's not only making me crazy for him but he's making me feel anger. He's played with me.
"Are you going to talk or are you just going to stand there, do you want a hug?"He asked and I shook my head getting back to the moment.
He's an idiot.
"How did you know I was a cutter?"I asked him and his mouth dropped.
"What? Where did you cut yourself? Oh god, I should've looked. Does it hurt? Why didn't you tell me?"He asked grabbing my hands and I gulped.
He's being too sweet. He can't do that, can he?
He's a liar and you know that.
"Sara? Did someone find out and spread it? Is that why you're mad? Did they blame it on me and the boys?"I nod quickly and he gave me a hug.
"Sara? I would never hurt you. The boys wouldn't either. We could never to lie to you. It's okay. You were just scared but remember that okay."I put my arms around his waist and cried.
He's telling the truth, he's not like that. The voice inside my head is going crazy.
Don't listen to him you idiot. He's lying.
"I'm so sorry, I...I don't know what I was thinking. The voice inside my head just rambles about things that I sometimes believe it. I'm just stupid and crazy."I told him and pulled away looking at him.
"You're not crazy or stupid. Your smart and beautiful, your crazy but not that crazy to mix apple sauce and raisins together."I stare at him and chuckled.
"What do those voices say? That I'm handsome? That I could crossdress and look like a pretty high school girl?"I laughed and felt a back hug.
"The voices tells me mean things. No one cares, no one will believe me, I'm crazy. I'm a psychopath, people are using me and people are lying."I said and he sighed pulling up my sleeve.
"The voice is a liar, who does she think she is. Don't listen to her, listen to the chicken behind you, Okay?"I hum and looked at my arms.
"Sara?"I felt a kiss on the cheek and my eyes widen in shock.
"You're beautiful with your scars, those are battle scars. You were always beautiful either way. No one can change it. Not even you."