Chapter 50

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Let Me Down Slowly | Alec Benjamin

"Someone asked for pizza?"I stare at Samuel in disbelief and shivers fall through my spine looking at him.

Are you a slut? Are you going to keep thinking everyone likes you and wants you? No one wants you!

"That would be me!"Jimmy said running to the door and taking it.

"How much?"I asked and he smirked at me.

He's freaking me out. I can't handle anymore. Somehow those memories flash in and want me to cry.

He only wants your body, no one cares.

"Sara, move five feet away."I hear my brother whisper and I nod.

"On the house."He winked and put something in my pocket shirt.

"See you later."

I closed the door and looked at my brother. I feel harassed. That pedophile idiot!

"I'm...I'm going to go to my room,"I said and ran up the stairs to my room then locked it.

I took out the paper and see a number. I gulped and held my hands through together. I don't want to feel pain. Again and again. I want it to leave.

Kill yourself, no one wants you. They will use you then throw you away. You're not needed.

I've been ignoring those words but they keep coming at me up and up again. Make them stop. I don't want to hear them.

You're to ugly to make something beautiful, beautiful. He's going to make you into his game. Make you fall on your knees and leave you.

Stop it!

Everyone is going to run to you and leave you. Everyone will hate you and hurt you. Your father will turn the same way he was. Your brother will eventually torture you. And your mother will kill you slowly eventually.

Leave me alone. I can't handle it. Where is the blade? Where are the razors?

Jin will bully you just like the others after he's done using you! Cody will use you and keep using you till he throws you away. Fransisco will torture you with anything as possible and Jimmy will hate you forever!

I went to look for them and took out the razors. I held it and took a deep breath.

Your too fat, your too ugly, Allah won't love you, no one will. You can't be loved. Your a broken, attention-seeking idiot!

I cut my wrist as a few blood starts opening up from the cuts. Making it deeper and deeper.

"Sara?"I heard and my eyes widen.

If they see you like this, they will kill you. No one would want someone like you to be near them. You're a freak!

I put the razor away and grabbed a black sweater. I put it on since my grey long sleeve shirt won't hide it.

I looked at the mirror and wiped my tears. Everything I hear it right. It's true! I really can't take it anymore.

"Sara? Are you there?"

I turned my head to the door and walked to it. I open and see Jin looking worried.

"Were you crying?"I shook my head and rub my eyes as he sighed.

"Why don't we go downstairs and eat?"I shook my head, closing my door and held my arm up so the blood won't drip on my hands.

"I'm not hungry,"I said as I walked downstairs to the living room and sat.

"Sara? Eat!"Hamid told me coming to the living room.

"I'm not hungry."

"Then I'll make chai? Do you want chai?"I shook my head and felt an arm around my shoulder.

"Did he do something to you?"Hamid whispers and I nod feeling chilly.

"Then don't eat! Starve to death like the soul you have. Don't preach through the moon!"I stare at him and push him away.

"Stop being annoying. I'm tired of you!"I told him in anger and moved away.

"Just go away! This is all your fault!"His eyes widen and came closer to me.


He won't care about you anyway. No one will. I don't think he's just going to run to help you but to hurt you. He knows your not important.

I slammed my door and locked it. I don't want to be near anyone. I went into my bed and covered myself. I took my phone out of my sweater pocket and put my earphones on.

I played some songs and sat up. My back hit the bed frame and I looked at the wall.

No one cares. Everyone will be happy. You a burden. You're a regret. You'll never be someone special.

And this voice will keep going on and on. It will never shut up!


"LEAVE ME ALONE!"I yelled and sighed taking a deep breath.


"Sara? It's me, Jin's mother."I heard from my door and I didn't answer.

"The boys called saying you didn't want to eat or come out. Is everything alright?"I looked at my closed window and the curtains covering it.

"Would you like me to come in? Would you mind opening the door?"I sighed and went to open the door.

She looked at me and I let her come in. I closed the door and I went to sit on my bed.

"You seem very sad. Is everything alright?"I nod and sighed.

"I think I'm just exhausted. I didn't have sleep last night so it's changing my mood."I lied and she smiled.

"Maybe way something to get some energy. Then get some rest."

"The boys were worried. They thought you would've hurt yourself."I stare at her and shook my head.

"Do you want to come downstairs? They brought more pizza."I rolled my eyes and nod.

"Again they are Hungry Gorillas."She chuckles and I got up to the door.

I opened and saw the boys with who had a worried look. They seemed upset.

"I'm sorry I yelled. I...I just lost it. I didn't mean to. If there is anything I could apologize for it I would do it."I said as Jin smirked.

"Anything?"I nod as he looked at my brother and his friends.

"I'll hold on to it."I looked at them confused and felt a weird pain in my stomach.

"Let's go eat!"Jimmy yelled like a caveman and ran down the stairs.

"If there is anything wrong, just talk about it. I won't judge and so wouldn't the rest of them."I nod and see Fransisco staring at me.

"Let's go."I nod and felt something drip from my hand.

I saw blood and gulped.

"I'm going to use the restroom and come back,"I said and went to go wash my hands.

How come he didn't notice? That's a good thing he didn't or else I'll be freaked out! I clean it softly while biting my lip and then patch some bandages on them.

I cover it and got out. I went downstairs and sat down to the kitchen. I sat on the kitchen stool and looked at the pizza.

Your not hungry, your just fat!


I heard and saw Jimmy with a smile. I bit and stare at them. I held the pizza and gulped the food slowly.

You pig.

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