Authors note -
4000 reads. ARE YOU KIDDING ME, I wanna thank all you amazing people who do read my story - every comment and every vote literally makes my heart stop because of how happy I become!
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"H-hey, hey Mia " A soft voice calls, as I'm awoken from my sleep. I groan a little, silently wishing for a little longer - it's been a while, since Ive slept this... peacefully.
" Come on, get up. " The voice says again, I flutter my eyes open, rubbing them groggily.
" There's the eyes I love so much! " He says, a smile plastering Jeans face. I want to smile back, but after yesterday, I fear that may not be possible.
It's easier this way
" Leave. " I command, turning my self around - so my back faces him. Though I can't see his face, I hear him gasp a little, as confusion brews in his voice.
" Mia, come on, we have t- " he begins but I quickly cut him off, not wanting him or anyone to be with me, right now. " I said go. "
I shut my eyes again and sigh, attempting to fall in a deep slumber once more. For an odd reason, I'm exhausted. It's feels as though no matter how long I sleep or lay down - nothing helps. It feels like something inside of me has given up - my soul is tired.
I hear Jean, sigh a bit before footsteps ring in the air and my door shuts. It's hard, getting back into this whole ' old Mia ' thing, because while my heart is telling me to run to Jean and tell him how much I care and that I'm just sad, my head is telling me to say nothing at all.
Unable to sleep any longer, I get up and change into my uniform. This time when I look in the mirror, I expect to see someone I know - since yesterday, I couldn't recognize myself at all.
This time when I glance at my self, I feel distraught and frustration - it's not like yesterday, as this time when I see myself, I know that this is me - but yet... I can't help but feel hatred towards myself.
Instead of tying up my shirt like usual, I tuck it in - wearing it like everyone else does. I look to my desk, and notice my sketch book - something I haven't touched in weeks. I walk over to the table and sit down and pick up my pencil.
And begin to draw. At first each line I make is rough and well.. bad but as an hour passes, I grow back to my old talent and create a sunset, and though no color is used, I can't help but feel like it's most serene thing I've seen in a long time - this just feels right.
Suddenly a knock on my door, interrupts me.
" Mia...? " It's mikasa. I stand up and open the door for her - she walks in and stares me up and down, mainly focusing on my shirt.
This is the first time I've worn it normally but still, she doesn't have to stare.
" what? " I ask, growing bored.
" How you doing ? "
I roll my eyes and cross my arms defensively, I thought Mikasa would be pissed at me for kissing Eren but I guess not.
" It doesn't matter. "
Suddenly Mikasa's face turns pale, as her eyes widen at me.
What's with her?
She grabs my wrists and pulls me closer to her. " Mia, what the hell are you doing ? " she spits.
" Let go of me, Ackerman. "
" Rosie, dont ma- " I shove her backwards, and she topples into my door. " Don't call me that. "
" I get that you're hurting but you can't do this. Not when I just got used to having the real you back. " She says, sadness fills her voice. She again steps towards me, bowing her head slightly.
" You never even knew me before what happened with my parents. So how would you know what the ' real ' me is? " I criticize
" Because the you standing in front of me, always lies when she says ' I don't care. ' but when you were smiling... at me, or Jean - anyone for that matter, there was nothing more truthful or genuine. " She says softly, she looks up at me and tears brim in her eyes - taking me back a bit.
" I know your unsure of what to do, or how to feel Mia. The first person you've ever loved just left you alone. " She steps closer, putting her hand on my wrist - I look away from her, un wanting to hear all the truth she's spilling out.
" And trust me.. I know how it feels, like your whole world is crashing down, like even breathing air feels like a task..? " Tears start to well in my own eyes, as the night with Levi ran through my head - and all the words I said and the words I didn't.
" But you have to be strong, okay? I was and so must you. Sure, you'll have to learn how to be you without him - but it's much better than learning how to be you, without all of us. " She cries, I turn my face to her as pain starts to throb in my heart and ache throughout my entire body.
I guess this is what heartbreak feels like.
" I-I'm so tired.. " I cry, she pulls me into her arms - as we both sob, endlessly.
Never in a million years would I expect to be in this situation - especially with Mikasa, but then again.. never have I felt this comforted.
After I lost my family, I never would of thought I'd have someone who I would look to as my own. Mikasa, she's the sister I never had and god, am I thankful that she's here right now.
" I know.. " She cries back, " But please change your shirt back, you look stupid with it tucked in. " she laughs lightly.
I push her back, my mouth agape. " Oi, looks who talking with your stupid scarf! " I mock, crossing my arms.
Mikasa laughs, using her arm to wipe the tears away. " Wanna go get something to eat? " She asks me, I nod at her - putting my hand to my now grumbling stomach as we make our way down the hallway.
A sense of relief washes over me, I feel almost.. new? Before my heart was nothing but pieces but now, I can feel it slowly but surely becoming whole again. It might be to soon to feel this okay after all, I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him.. but yet, I can't fake the smile my face holds.
———
" Hey Mia! " Armin smiles, pulling me to go sit with him. " Hey, Armin! " I grin.
" So where'd you go last night ? " He asks me, I sit there awkwardly and look to Mikasa for help.
" It's not important,so how've you been Armin?" Mikasa asks, I sigh in relief and as the two begin to chat on, I notice someone enter the room.
Eren.
And just when I thought everything was going to be okay
Mikasa takes a notice in the direction I stare off in, and sighs. " Why are you guys looking at Eren like that? " Armin asks, rather confused.
" I'll tell you, but let's go somewhere else. " I say, not removing my gaze from the green eyed boy.
" Uh, okay.. "
" Mia! " Eren calls out to me, and I mentally face palm my self as I rapidly sit up and go to the door, with Mikasa and Armin trailing behind me.
" Mia, wait! " He yells, but I ignore him.
Nearly there..
And as soon as I arrive at the door - someone blocks my path. A very, very Angry someone.
" Mia. " Hange says.