—Jeon Residence, year 2026—
I heard Jungkook entering the house right after I finished working and while I was getting ready to prepare dinner. I was on my way to leave the study room when he appeared at the doorway.
"Jungkook, you're home early."
He stood there in the doorway, looking at me closely with a weird look on his face. "Why aren't you ready yet? We're going to be late."
"Late? For what?" I could only stare at him completely clueless, unable to understand what he was saying.
"The company dinner," he told me with a frown. "It's tonight. I told you that I need you to come with me tonight."
"No, you haven't. Are you sure it was me that you have spoken about it with?" Because I would've remembered if you ever spoke to me at all.
He seemed puzzled for a few moments, flustered by my words that he looked away. "I—Look, just get ready quickly, okay? Please?"
I kept staring at him for a moment, before deciding that it probably would be better not to argue. Nodding my head, I started to walk into our bedroom without saying anything.
"______?" I stopped and turned around to look at him, startled when I heard him calling me with a more gentle voice.
"Yes?"
He seemed unsure at first, but then he turned nervous when he asked me, "Do you still have that dress I gave you on our fifth anniversary?"
"Yes, I still keep it in our wardrobe. Why?"
"Can you please wear it for me tonight?" He asked me, smiling at me ever so gently that I could see the sincerity in his eyes. My heart instantly broke when I saw them, when all the feelings he used to be able to ignite inside me started to return to me, and I easily gave in.
"Of course. I'll wear it if you want me to."
From then on, the night started out smoothly.
He was a different person. He started treating me differently ever since I came out of the bedroom and was ready to go, and I was starting to enjoy the night for being next to him. It felt like we were back to those years when he used to take me out with him and it felt—quite pleasant.
"Thank you," he said as he was driving us to the party. I kept catching him throwing glances at me secretly during the drive, and I was starting to feel nervous about it, suddenly feeling self-aware for the whole thing. For having his attention on me.
"Thank me for what, exactly?"
"For wearing the dress, and for joining me tonight. You look beautiful," he said, giving me a quick smile before looking back on the road.
I felt a blush showing on my face and I looked away to hide it. "You're flattering me too much, Jungkook."
"Shouldn't I?" I could feel him smiling while he spoke even when I was not looking at him. "I know I don't say things like this a lot. I just—I feel like I haven't paid enough attention to my wife lately. I'm sorry."
"It's—okay. You've been busy lately. We both were—"
A few seconds of silence passed before he spoke. "What if we go somewhere? Let's go on a trip, just the two of us, someplace where we won't be bothered by work? Or perhaps a date? We haven't gone out together for so long."
I finally turned to look at him. "Is something wrong? What's gotten into you?"
He only chuckled at my response. "What? Nothing's wrong, babe. I just—I miss you. I miss my wife. Is that wrong?" He stopped and released a sigh. "After our last fight, I realized that I've been neglecting you a lot, and all I've been doing lately is act like a jerk to you. I just want to make it up. You were right. And I just—I'm sorry."
I fell silent as I took in his words. It took me completely by surprise when he brought it up, and even accepting all the things I said to him on my drunken outburst. My heart tightened to the pain I had kept inside when I thought of everything that had happened between us for the last few months—all the fights and all the painful words he gave to me, that we gave each other, all the hate and fear we had of each other. I let out a sigh, convincing myself that perhaps I could try to let them go. Perhaps I could give him a chance to make it up, and a chance for us to make things better.
"We can start with a date, I guess. It has been a while since we go out like this. I'd say that tonight is a good start," I told him, earning a wide smile from him. "Let's talk about this again later after the party, okay?"
He nodded and reached out to grip my hand. "Yes, of course. Only if you think of this night as our first date."
We reached the venue not long after our eventful conversation.
It was not supposed to be a huge party that we were attending that night. The event was a private gathering hosted by the head of the company where Jungkook had been working at since the beginning of our marriage. It was the annual company party Jungkook used to take me along with, the kind of party which was usually held to celebrate either a special promotion for an employee or the company's anniversary.
It had been a while since I had joined any of these events, as I had been choosing to avoid seeing the people he worked with for so many reasons, and he had chosen to attend these gatherings on his own. I had to admit that I might have silently blamed them as the ones who were responsible of creating distance between me and Jungkook, since he had always used his work to avoid me and for being distant.
Jungkook held my hand tightly since the moment I stepped out of the car and held it still as we entered the mansion where the party was held. "Nervous?" He asked me while rubbing his palm on the back of my hand as we walked side by side.
"A little," I answered him while tightening my grip on his hand. "You know I hate fancy parties like this. And it's been a while since I've been in one."
"I know," he chuckled, pulling me closer to him with his hand on my waist. "Just stay close to me and don't get lost in the crowd, okay?"
I returned his smile and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. "Okay, as long as you promise not to leave me alone."
"I promise."
He stayed by my side throughout the dinner and even courted me around as he made quick conversations with his co-workers. As much as he kept me close and helped make me feel comfortable, I felt slightly uneasy having the feeling as if someone was staring at me continuously all through the night.
"Are you alright?" Jungkook whispered to me with his palm gently pressing on my back the moment he noticed me rubbing my bare arms. "Are you cold?"
"Oh—no, I'm okay," I told him with a smile, hiding the fact that I was restless for feeling agitated rather than cold. I didn't want to ruin the night for him, or for both of us, when everything had been going so well. "Perhaps I'm just tired, but I'll be okay."
He leaned closer to gently kiss my temple. The closeness between us allowed me to sense how worried he was, yet I couldn't really decide whether I should feel grateful for his attention or to feel guilty, especially when he told me after, "Should we go home early?"
"Are you sure? I don't want to cut your night short, Jungkook. It's still pretty early."
"It's alright. I suddenly want to take you home so we can be alone."
His words made me blush that I instantly looked away. My heart fluttered the same way as it did when we were both still young and madly in love. I lowered my face as he led me to follow him to where the company's CEO was so we could bid our goodbyes, only looking up when we found him at the center of the party. I was familiar with Jungkook's employer that it was nice to see him again. The kind CEO was having a conversation with a young man by his side but quickly ended their talk when he saw us walking closer.
The man gave a wide smile as Jungkook and I greeted him. "_____! It's been a while since I saw you. Have your husband been hiding you away from us?"
"No, Sir," I laughed along with him. "We've been having trouble in adjusting our schedules to go out together. Forgive me for not being able to accompany my husband on the latest events."
"Oh, that's alright. It is really good to see you again. Jungkook even looks brighter tonight since you are here with him," he said, teasingly winked at me which earned a chuckle from Jungkook as a response.
We soon got lost in our small reunion, almost forgetting the main reason why we had come to approach him for a few moments, until Jungkook looked at me and remembered that we needed to leave. But just when Jungkook was about to pull me away, the CEO lifted his hand to call for someone from the bar. A young woman came to join our small group and quickly stood next to the CEO.
"Have you met Lena? She was briefly assigned as Jungkook's secretary, but I guess Jungkook decided to find another staff to work with after just a few months. So now she is working for me."
I glanced at the newcomer to greet her. And the moment I met her eyes, the uneasy feeling that had been haunting me all night returned to me full force. We stared at each other silently as we were introduced, and I had never felt more agitated in my life even as we were standing right in front of each other.
"Thank you for letting your former secretary go. Lena has been a great help for me. You won't be missing her too much, will you?"
I watched her as she glanced up briefly at Jungkook. A subtle gesture of her lips showed me how she was struggling to stop herself from saying anything. No words came out of her as the man beside her kept talking to my husband on everyone's behalf, while all Jungkook kept giving him was a rigid smile. Even his whole body was tense, and I could feel his hold on my waist tightening the longer we stayed there.
No words needed to explain what was hidden. By the look they exchanged at a split second that I caught on by my own eyes, the tension that built up in the air and the anxiety emitting from the man that was holding me in his hand spoke louder. And I suddenly understood.
I should have known.
I was silent for the rest of the night.
Jungkook was restless ever since the moment we left the mansion, and I knew he could sense that something was wrong, since he would not stop asking for me to speak to him during our drive home.
I kept silent and waited until we reached home, until the moment we were safe under the roof of our private shelter. I went straight to the minibar right after we entered our silent home, and poured a glass of gin and tonic for myself, all to calm my nerves. Yet the sting I got from the first sip of the liquid only made me feel more restless, adding the tightness in my chest. I could feel Jungkook following behind me in silence.
"For how long?" I asked him, only after taking a few moments to control myself. The rapid heartbeat in my chest was the only thing reminding me that I was still alive and breathing. Broken, but alive.
"What?" He was standing not too far behind me now, the crack in his voice showed me how he probably had hoped I wouldn't say anything.
"How long have you been seeing her behind my back?"
I was standing with my back facing him, but I could feel him getting more nervous as he stood across the room and I could feel him staring at my back.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
The lack of truth that left his lips raised the anger that had been boiling up within me since that last encounter. My body reacted much faster before my mind could even process what was about to happen, and I couldn't stop myself from turning around, and threw the glass I was holding in my hand his way with all force I could muster. The fragile object moved so quickly, reaching across the room and missed his face only a few inches before it crashed against the wall behind him.
"Have you lost your fucking mind?" He exploded right in front of me, only a few seconds after he recovered from the shock over my failed attack.
"No, have you lost your mind? Give me a goddamn answer!" I shouted at him with the exact same rage. When he opened his mouth again, all ready to answer me with more lies, I stopped him by saying all the words I have kept in my head since we left the party. "I always feel like you have been hiding something from me. You have always been so angry at me and so distant, you can't even stay in the same room with me, let alone look into my eyes or talk to me like how any married couple would do. Well, now I know why. It's that woman, isn't it? Don't you dare lie to me, because I saw that look in your eyes and how she looked at you! For how long have you been fucking her, Jungkook?"
"What? I—" He lifted his hands to his head, letting out a loud grunt full of anger as he started pulling his hair. "Fine! You want the truth? Yes, I fucked her, alright? I did that—I made a mistake, but it's over. I—"
"Wh—" Even if I had suspected it to be true, even when I thought I could finally figure out the reason why he had been treating me so badly, his confession still hurt me. I could swear that my heart stopped at his confession, and the truth took my breath away that the only sound came out of my lips was a breathless whisper. I took another deep breath, clenching my hands on my sides as I had nothing else to hold on to before I could ask him, "Why?"
"It's all because of you!" His answer came out as a frustrated whisper when he was still in shock from having the truth figured out and in anger from having to answer me.
I only laughed in disbelief. "Me? Oh, right! Of course, why didn't I think of that? Everything that goes wrong in your life, our life, is all because of me. Thank you for reminding me of it."
"You—You don't understand. I can't look at you, I can't be with you because when I'm with you I am always reminded of my mistakes in the past. And I'm always reminded of how I failed to make you happy, and I was getting so tired of asking myself why can't we have a family? Why, when we've tried so hard and everything just keeps on failing. I feel like a failure, and—"
"And to fix things with me you slept with another woman? Really? Un—fucking—believable." It took all of my energy and every will I had in my heart to stop myself from screaming at the top of my lungs with my own frustrations building up inside of me.
"I just wanted to feel things other than this pain and guilt, so I just—" At that moment, he looked so pitiful, so lost, and he couldn't even look at me in the eyes to show me remorse. Not once.
"You know what? You're right, I don't understand. Whatever you did feel with her, I sure hope that it was worth it. Because guess what, you are not the only one in pain for everything that had happened, and yet all you've been doing is just put salt on my wounds and you are making things worse instead of actually fixing it like you're supposed to!" I brushed my hands over my face to wipe away my tears, angry at myself for letting him see my pain, for showing how fragile and weak I was. "And all of this time, you have been accusing me of things I didn't do, blaming me for things I haven't done, when it has been you all along that has been breaking us apart. How could you?"
"_____, I'm sorry, alright? I am so sorry, baby," he started to walk closer to me, lifting both his hands to reach for me with his eyes staring straight into my eyes as he begged me for forgiveness. "It's all over now—It happened briefly, and I realized that it was a mistake, so I did my best to end it. I ended it for you. I want to make things work, for you, for us. Please—"
Too late. Too fucking late. There is nothing left to fix.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have. Because I'm done, Jungkook. I'm done."
I locked myself in the bedroom right after our fight.
Jungkook spent hours banging on the door, begging for me to let him in and to forgive him. Yet I ignored his desperate pleas by curling on the bed with the covers wrapping around me. I couldn't tell how long he kept doing it and how loud his voice was, when all of the noises were later drowned by the sound of my sobs and cries, and I was soon dragged into sleep. My anger and my long cries drained me completely that I had to give in.
It was far late when I opened my eyes again. Everything was silent, and I figured he probably had retreated to his home-office to shelter in defeat. I took a glance at my watch and saw the time.
2.30 AM.
I didn't know what gave me the power to push myself off the bed and walked straight to the bathroom. The reflection I saw in the mirror showed me enough how broken I was. I saw my pain through my swollen eyes and my smudged makeup, I saw pieces of me that was shattered through my tousled hair and my dishevelled dress—one that I was quick to despise because it reminded me too much of him, of the happiness we lost in the past. I quickly washed my face and combed my hair, and when I lifted my face and looked at my reflection once again, I saw a hint of determination in my eyes as a decision was made.
I left the bathroom without having any second thoughts and walked straight to my wardrobe. I started gathering all of my personal belongings, keeping them in suitcases and changed my own clothes to a more decent one. The only thing I wanted to do was leave, run as far as I could and leave all the painful things behind.
But just when I was ready to walk out of the bedroom, the rain started to fall. It was as if the universe was trying to stop me from doing what I had decided to do and I almost faltered.
I looked out the window, watching the way the night sky was covered with a thick curtain of rain. That was when the memory of our previous fight came back to me, and the pain that resided in my heart pushed me into making the final choice. I knew exactly then what I must do, and that there would be no turning back from it. I grabbed my suitcases and my handbag, holding them tightly as I walked downstairs, passed the home-office—making sure to walk as fast and as quietly as I could after I made sure that he had indeed locked himself inside the room.
As I managed to reach the front door, I quickly put on my coat, tightening it around my body before I ran as fast as I could to my car.
I drove through the night and struggled to make it through the rain. As I went further and further away from the house and away from Jungkook, I could feel my heart and my soul breaking and shattering into little pieces. There were voices inside my head that kept trying to convince me to return, but I kept on going until I reached the only place I could think of.
The moment I found myself at where my mind had wanted me to go to, I sat silently in my car, gripping tightly on the steering wheel as I tried my best to calm my breathing. I left the car after I had my mind made up and ran through the rain, straight into the building in front of me.
It felt like a dream when I stood in front of the apartment door. My body was shaking, both from the cold and from the flooding emotions that took over my body, and I felt so weak. I somehow managed to muster all the energy I have left to knock on the door, only able to move my hand so slow even as I let out all of my energy to do it.
After a few knocks and some slow, loud banging, the door was finally opened.
"What the—What the fuck are you doing so early in the morning?" He stood at the doorway, holding the door with his eyes narrowed, grunting at me with a deep voice still raspy from sleep.
I opened my mouth to answer, but the only thing that came out was a loud sob. Every anger, every pain, and all of the emotions that had been bottled up inside me came flowing out the moment I saw him standing in front of me, and my tears came flowing harder than it did before.
He blinked his eyes rapidly to quickly rid the rest of his sleep, a frown immediately appeared when he took a better look at the state that I was in. "Jesus—What happened to you?" he sounded panicking and worried, but he didn't dare to make any move.
"I—I'm sorry to wake you up so early," I told him in whispers between my tears. "I, I have nowhere else to go—"
"_____, what the fuck happened?" He asked me again. This time, his words were full of anger.
"I, I have—" I took a couple of deep breaths to stop myself from crying and to be able to speak clearly but to no avail, and all I could say to him was,
"I need your help. Please."