Skylar|
I honestly don't know what the fuck happened but I was hella excited to see Heidi looking all broken and shit over the loss of her so called 'love' who was now pretty much all mine. It was weird though, I expected the jock to say a bunch of terrible shit and spread it across the school that way we could get at it, yet she didn't. School had gotten ten times better just because for once, Heidi Starr didnt get everything she wanted like always. I mean, the girl basically has a full ride to her college, all the attention is always on her since she's a boss on court, and I don't know, I hated how her politeness was able to hypnotize everyone.
"Yo babe, you ready to go and cop some xan" I joked.
Kiersten looked at me with with a 'Are you seriously joking about drugs?' look and I couldn't help but keep my mouth shut after. Lately, she's been looking extremely tired and I didn't know why. Her eyes had darkened circles under it and she looked thinner than I've ever seen her. Maybe it was because all she did was play with her food? I was not about to get into business that I shouldn't though.
Letting out a yawn, "I'll meet you at our usual spot" she said while entering the quiet classroom in front of her. We met at my unassigned assigned parking lot spot everyday after school before rehab. To be honest, my body couldn't stop craving drugs all day and all night. I was getting so sick and tired of feeling noting at all, I wanted to have my brain go through trippy ass events. The feelings I would go through always made school less boring. The most painful thing was having to watch all of my friends walk into class high without me not being apart of it. At least Shantel had the decency to not do drugs anywhere near me, let alone boasted about how fucked up she was.
As I walked into my class, everyone didn't look terrified of me anymore. I used to love how scared people would get or the bad ass impression I portrayed and I couldn't help but feel all of that slipping away just because I was now a patient at a rehab center. I don't think anyone understood that I had officially became the outcast of the school.I simply did not belong anywhere anymore. The lit kids couldn't hang since I was a newly sober while I was still considered too bad for all the non problematic kids.
I've noticed a few new habits that occurred because I was lacking everyday substances. There were movement problems like how I couldn't stop shaking which made me turn to alternatives such as constantly tapping my foot or fiddling with pens or pencils with my fingers. I'm a complete mess, it was dawning on me. Honestly, it really sucked how I couldn't feel the same determination as Kiersten who kept wanting to see me get better. Maybe I wasn't supposed to get better, maybe this was the person I was going to be forever?
There was no way in hell that I wanted a child in the future, let alone get married. I don't even know how people stick to the same person for that long? Don't you get fucking sick of em... hence, a divorce? Sometimes, I felt like I was doing the impossible, like I shouldn't be fixing myself because I'm still young and there's time for me to have fun. I don't understand why society wanted kids like me to grow up so fast?
The rest of school went by quickly. It had been the usual. I'd get my assignment grades back and they'd be failing grades of course but who gave a shit? When the hell would I use half of the things I was learning to my advantage? I mean, sometimes I would get alright grades because I'd copy Kiersten's work when she slept. Other than that, my GPA was literally compete shit.
---
Kiersten had been waiting outside, doing her homework as usual while I sat in a circle filled with a bunch of air heads; I had been too distacted to pay attention.
"Skylar, how about you tell everyone a good thing that's happened since being clean?" the group leader said.
Letting out a smirk, "Well, this morning's shower made me smell fucking good!"
Everyone around me started to laugh since they understood the humor I was giving off.
"How many days have you been clean so far?" He asked. The dude was practically twice my age and apparently he used to be just like the rest of us kids here today. The only difference, he got his shit together and started a whole ass family.
"Twelve" I replied.
Nodding his head, "And how are those twelve days going?"
Lying, I let out, "Perfect."
"So there's no signs of relapsing anytime soon? It's okay to talk to us, we're your second family."
That was total bullshit. I only had one family and there's no space for another one.
"Nah, I'm not going to be a crackwhore anytime soon if that's what you mean." I kept my words fairly confident though I wasn't confident at all.
For real though, why was the United States so strict about every little thing. Like, even foreign countries get to drink at the time of 16 without any legal problems. Yet, here I was stuck in rehab for alcohol and drug addiction? What the fuck, man! I mind as well be in here for sex addiction too.
That brings me back to Lexie. We weren't exactly on the best terms because I made her swear that no matter what, she tells Kiersten nothing about our encounter. The sex was fucking amazing, don't get me wrong. I just felt a little bad because that was very extreme of me to do, somewhat immature as well. Yet, I don't know. At that time, in was in the mood for a good fuck and Kiersten wasn't letting me do anything to her, even before the regain of memories. It was so confusing as to why, the dark haired brunette was super pretty and honestly had nothing shameful about her body to hide.
buzz buzz
My phone began to vibrate in the middle of our session. "Shit" I whispered.
"Miss Cadwell, weren't you supposed to leave your phone at drop off?"
Oh fuck, I'm screwed.
Thinking of a lie, "My sister might be in the hospital. I'm sorry, I have to take this."
I walked to the nearest restroom which was at opposite ends of where lil Angeles had been. That was perfect too because I didn't want her to see what I was doing.
[ 3:27 pm ] Lexie:
dianna's house is thowing down tn if interested.
Thinking for a second, I knew I shouldn't go because that would go against all of these rules I had been under. Yet, I felt like it would be okay to show up as long as I didn't do anything stupid. The party life was something I missed so incredibly much, I didn't understand how people could live without getting lit from time to time. Putting the phone up to my ear, I called the blonde.
"Hey, so are you going to come or nah?" she answered.
"I'm coming but, I'm going to have to find out how without Kiersten knowing."
Lexie paused a bit before continuing her thought process. "Tell her that your parents texted an emergency family meeting. That way she won't feel obligated to keep you company today and you can sneak over once you drop her off. Pregaming starts at six."
Letting that thought sit in my brain, "That actually doesn't sound too bad."
The bad ass blonde let out a giggle. "I try."
"Okay, I gotta head back to my session but I'll see you in an hour or more-ish."
"Bet" I replied while hanging up the phone and taking a seat back in the circle. "My sister's fine! What were we talking about?"
The instructor let out a sigh and that's what he pretty much did every time I pulled a stunt. I knew he wasn't stupid at all because once you've been down the path I was going, you lean to read the signs of an addict. "Be strong, Skylar" was all the councelor said.
Rehab went by quick since we did an activity today. All of us had to do some sort of trust exercise that's supposed to help make our self confidence build. But, instead I was laughing at how dumb the shit we were doing looked. Apparently trust falling and being able to hold your partner up without any complications is something to be proud of. Only, I was letting my partner fall and boy, was that a funny ass sight to see. This pretty much went on for about half an hour before I had to start up my plan.
Wrapping my arm around her neck after exiting the room I was in, "So, Kit Kat, I have a family emergency that my parents called for. I'm going to drop you off at your place."
She looked at me skeptically, but I think the fact that she felt I would never lie to her, helped ease her questions. "Um, O- Okay."
It was pretty bad how I didn't feel guilty about lying at all, I was so fixated on tonight's party that nothing else seemed to matter. Diana's house events have always been killer since being a cheerleader meant you had a lot of power over everyone, especially the jocks.
"Sweeeeet! I'll text you when I get home alright?"
"Alright." The shorter girl sent a half smile. God damn, this bitch was so fucking hot, I'm one lucky girl.
The only thing bothering me as I drove Kiersten home, was how I didn't really know her. I knew the girl who wasn't herself and I really liked that version of her because she was a lot less opinionated and knowledgeable. Half the time, I feel like a dumbass when she'd say certain things I couldn't understand. Her vocabulary was intensified to an extreme and since her vocal chords were healing, the diction she used was frequent nowadays. Part of me knew that it's not okay to wish Kiersten didn't get 'fixed', but I really did wish she didn't. Being around the cutie felt more like a stroll in the park with someone ranked completely higher than you. Have you ever felt that?
If you haven't, then you're lucky because that feeling fucking sucked. I don't think I could ever satisfy her because I'm a handful and I'm toxic as hell. She's definitely going to get tired of me because for the last few months I've been shit to her with only a few acts of sweetness. The fact that I was currently lying and not caring that I was, should be a signal that I should take all that her family supplied, seriously. Yet, does it look like I give a shit?
After I dropped the younger Angeles sister off at her big ass mansion, I drove straight to Dianna's. It was kinda nice how most of the students from school live by one another, it made frees a lot easier to attend. When I showed up, the whole group of pregamers were there, staring directly at me.
"The fuck you hoes looking at?" I laughed playfully as I got out of my car.
Lexie came out of the house to greet me. "Hey babe, you ready for a lit ass time?"
Sending her a smirk, I just wanted to head on in before I figured out what I was going to do. The sound of the bass drops from the speakers in the house could be felt all throughout my body. Holy fuck, I really did miss all of this.
| End of Chapter Forty Two |
[A/N]: This morning, I missed a phone call from real life ________ because I was snoozing real hard til like 3pm lmao. :( xxx - Melody
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