___________________________________
I took a look at the menu. So many dishes that I loved. Burgers, pizzas, and lots of french fries. I bet there were wonderful pastries there. I looked at my surroundings. Making sure that no one I knew was near me. I wasn't in Kandred, so what did I need to worry about? I wasn't there after all, everyone around me were complete strangers.
My eyes stopped at the hamburgers, scanning the ingredients. Onions, meat, salad, dressing, oh lots of dressing. I waved for the waitress and she took my order. I felt ashamed when I kept rambling my order that never seemed to end. I didn't even remember how many dishes I ordered. There were too much to keep track of. She left after she had repeated my order, which seemed to be more than six dishes. Lots of drinks. When he left it felt like I could finally breathe. I looked out the window, watching the people move in the crowd. How could there be so many people in the streets? I was only comparing to Kandred.
My eyes kept following a certain person that looked like someone I knew. At first I was taking it for granted that no one would see me through the glass, then I met that person's glance which made me conscious of the transparency. I dodged her eyes and tried to hide, but it was too late. Amber definitely saw me. I closed my eyes, hoping that I could disappear from the world. Right now, lone time was the one thing I desired the most.
When I finally opened my eyes, there were so much food placed in front of me. Smelling good. Making me drool. I was back in heaven. Food heaven. Just when I was about to grab the huge hamburger with two layered meat on I saw a figure taking the seat in front of me.
"Are you expecting someone?" asked Amber. She was looking at me with that smirk of hers. I didnt want to lie to her.
"No, I'm all alone." I mumbled, putting back the burger on the plate.
"This is enough for five people, you know." she chuckled. I knew it. I was a bit embarrassed.
"So why are you here? You don't go out a lot unless you have work." I changed the subject. Amber suddenly blushed, completely exposing herself. She only had that face when it was about one thing. "Could it be..." I laughed. "Your boobs?"
"No!" Even though she denied it, I knew that she was lying. Amber wasn't a good liar at all.
"It's your boobs. You are going to get some kind of treatment to make them bigger right?" I started to laugh. It was funny that someone as confident as Amber was insecure about herself. It just didn't seem likely.
"Shut up, Audree. How about you then? If you really want to become a famous actress you need to watch what you eat!" I stopped laughing. She was right. I was losing to my confusion. But I still couldn't toss all the food in front of me.
"I heard that eating more makes your chest grow." I mumbled. It was the truth, but of course your whole body would get bigger. Amber was weak when it was about her chest, so she hesitated.
"Are you sure...?" I smiled to her, then eyed the mountain of food. "Just once in a while is fine." I grabbed my fork and dug into the spaghetti. Amber didn't even hesitate to take my hamburger, the one that I had stared at all the time, planning on saving.
"Why can't my boobs be big?" Amber suddenly shrieked, her mouth stuffed with food. I definitely knew Amber's weakness. "I feel like a man."
"They don't need to be big at all, Amber... Boobs are boobs, no matter what size, you know." I said, chewing my food at the same time. I noticed that people were staring at us like we were animals.
"You don't understand me, since you have big boobs."
"I don't. They are just normal C-cupped, Amber. Sometimes even B." She looked so surprised, like she had expected me to be a E-cup. I looked at her chest as discreetly as possible, but she noticed my glance right away.
"Stop looking at them!" she suddenly yelled, covering them up. Amber really was bothered by them.
"Didn't you already fix that problem with the push-up bras?"
"Isn't that fake...?"
"Of course it is. But what other choice do you have?" I muttered. She was hesitating, not giving me a clear answer. Whatever she chooses would not matter really, but at least she wouldn't feel as bad when having people looking at her chest.
"Then... What is it that you are bothered of?" she asked while chewing on her food. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to spill everything out. It was Red- or Zach. She only barely knew about Red, since they had seen each other sometimes because of Craig's tricks. Amber didn't seem like a person who would judge people so I thought it would be fine to tell her.
"I have this friend..."
"Could that friend... be someone who starts with the letter A?"
"No, Amber! It's not me, I swear!"
"Right." she answered bluntly, expecting me to continue. She still didn't believe me though, but I wouldn't be able to convince her when after starting it all like that.
"My friend from my old town that goes to my school... He's a really good friend. I told him all about the acting stuff and then I left for California. There was another guy here in California who became a really good friend, and it turned out that the two of them are the same person."
"Wow... So he pretended to be two different persons?"
"Yeah... He didn't tell me. He just pretended to be someone else." I shrieked. "I just can't believe it! I have embarrassed myself so much! Thinking that they were the same person... He knows so much about me." I suddenly remembered when I had looked into Craig's vault when I broke in to destroy the contracts. Red's name wasn't there. But Zach's was.
"You don't seem upset. You only seem embarrassed, Audree." Amber said.
"No, I am! It's just that..." All the time... He knew. He had hidden his face so that I wouldn't notice.
"If you are upset over the fact that he lied, then you wouldn't shove all this food inside of you. I don't think it's like you." Amber put down the hamburger, the one she had barely eaten. There were only some bites on the side.
I didn't want to admit it, but she was right. I wasn't upset at all, I was only embarrassed of the fact that I had kissed Zach before, and also attempted to kiss Red. It felt like I was the most easy going girl ever, that I would grab any guy close to me only because it's convenient.
I hit my face with both of my hands, feeling the embarrassment overloading. "Amber... Why is it that you're like a therapist? You're so amazing."
"I'm that good and I know it." she mused, grabbing some fries.
"Amber, you already have nice boobs. They won't ever be saggy when you get old, while my boobs are going to drop down to my tummy. Really." I attacked her problem this time.
"Really." she said, not even listening.
"Eat up, and they will get bigger." I said, then dropped my fork. "I need to see my friend." Amber didn't even have the time to reject that request since ran out. I had already paid for the food, so she should have been happy to get so much food for free. I walked back to the street we had been at, but I didn't expect him to still be there. One hour had passed already, so I was sure he had left. I did not see anyone that looked like Red or Zach walking around. Even if I knew he had left, I felt slightly disappointed.
"Are you looking for me?" Zach's voice came from my behind. I turned around, whipping my hair on his chest. He was really here. The real Zach I always thought had been in Kandred.
"Yes. You stayed here?" I asked him, still shocked.
"I actually... stalked you. Sorry." he mumbled, scratching his head awkwardly.
"Why...?" I looked into his sunglasses that were hiding his sea colored eyes. They were indeed the same person. I couldn't sense any kind of aura.
"It's a habit. You are someone who attracts danger, you know." He made me crack up a bit, as I let go of my poker face. I chuckled for one second, and then returned to my normal face.
"We're good, Zach. I won't be mad, because I don't want to lose you." I told him, jumping right into it. The relief was beaming from his face.
"Thanks, Audree. I thought I lost you for a second." I looked at the ice cream bar behind us.
"I have a lot to ask you." I said, still keeping my eyes on it.
¤¤¤
"So... You originally lived here in California?" I put my elbows on the table, resting my face on my palms. Zach was incredibly quiet, knowing that it was time for the truth to come out. He was still wearing his Red-getup, making everyone in the ice cream bar suspicious.
"Yes. My parents live here. I moved to Kandred because I felt like escaping from here."
"Why did you want to escape?"
This question seemed to be a bit harder to answer though. He was fumbling with his ice cream for some while before finally attempting to reply. "I... wanted to change. Just like you. It feels like whenever I am in California, I need to be someone I'm not. I wanted to find myself."
"Is your real name Zach?"
"Yes."
"Being Red... Was it for revenge?" I asked, not even bothering to take in his reply. I only wanted to know everything as fast as possible. He was looking very nervous, still poking on his ice cream.
"Partly. But there was something else to it. It's the only way for me to escape when I'm here." Zach mumbled. "When I'm not disguising myself, everything changes. I can stop caring about what people think of me or about any consequences when I'm Red."
"Why did you call yourself Red when disguised?"
Zach was now laughing a bit. "Red... is nothing I really called myself. It's just that those people who see me at night approach me. I never answer them, but I never reject them really. I didn't tell them my name, they just found a name for me themselves."
"Why Red?" I leaned in closer.
"Because of this cap. The bloodstains. It's not really red, but they understood that it was blood, hence my name." Zach was speaking so calmly. I remember last time we were talking about his cap. He was so fragile, breaking apart. I never dared to get close to that subject because I thought that he wouldn't be able to take it, but the Zach I saw right now was composed.
"I'm sorry, Zach. I won't ask any more." I looked away, pushing my tears back. I felt ashamed for trying to pry open his life.
"It's fine, Audree. I... witnessed my brother's death. But it feels like I'm recovering ever since I met you." I looked down at my untouched vanilla ice cream. I was getting so many questions answered, even if everything seemed clear, it turned out to be quite the opposite. I didn't understand anything anymore. The person I saw in front of me was Red, but it was not only Red. Zach was there too.
______________________________