Karmen closes the door to her small bedroom quietly. Her mind is racing with stressful thoughts and creative ideas of possible outcomes from the current situation. She spent all day attempting to hide it by cleaning the kitchen and then cleaning it again. She's not sure if she made Audrey eat her vegetables or not either. Her brain is so scattered between what her hands are doing and rethinking the same thoughts since she heard that Alpha Cane came earlier this morning. Leon wanted to stay with her but beta duty called and she's been alone to her nightmares since.
In her room, it's quiet. The kitchen is a little noisier. Some of the Moore pack are occupying the living room and their chatter and background television noise makes things seem less explosive than they are. But here, in the comfort of her own room, every thought is getting louder and she's not sure what she should do.
Alpha Cane rejected her. He said the cursed words that immediately and irrevocably cut her off and cut his claim from her. And she, in a very weak moment, accepted it. It's been weeks since then and she's finally feeling more like herself - even better than herself. That hole that threatened to take over her life and drown her, that void, empty feeling that consumed her and left her numb has gone and been replaced with something stronger. She has mostly Leon to thank for that. The beta worm certainly knew his way around her heart better than anyone else and without her noticing it, he filled that hole up with joy, security, comfort and most importantly, emotions. She's never felt more in her entire life as she has in the last few weeks and that is mostly due to Leon's influence. She's happy. She's in love. She feels loved. And Leon is responsible for that - not Cane.
The very fact that he wished to claim her shakes her. She's paranoid, looking behind her whenever she leaves a room and all around her whenever she enters a room. She doesn't want to be alone. The tension in his stance, the dark, wild look of his eyes when he saw her - they were just brief moments but they shattered whatever security she felt. If Millis and Frankie hadn't been there when Cane arrived, she isn't sure what would have happened and the thought of it turning into that kind of situation terrifies her. Everything with Leon would disappear in a second had Cane gotten her alone. And had Audrey decided to interfere, Karmen wouldn't know what to do.
She can hold her own against Leon. Karmen's grown up with him despite his being five years her senior. She's watched him grow up and has had to interact with him. She knows him. She knows how he works for the most part. She knows how frustrating he is. She knows his habits. Despite him being a beta and her an omega, she knows she can hold her own with him. He treats her as an equal. He treats her preciously but he also challenges her in so many ways and she fights back.
She can't do that with Cane. For one thing, she doesn't know his limits or his habits. She doesn't know what will irritate him and what won't. She doesn't know how to act or react. She doesn't know what to expect and being an omega makes her more vulnerable to his influence. She can't be herself with Cane. Her mind and her nerves wouldn't let her. His stare makes her nervous. His presence makes her shake. Not knowing what he's thinking, not understanding his motives - it all makes her anticipate the worst.
As it is up to her to decide what to do, she wants to chose Leon. She wants to stay with him and be by him and trust in him. She wants to forget about her entire encounter with an alpha named Cane. She wants to erase her true mate from her memory. She wants to replace him with Leon and have the happy ending every little girl and boy dreams about - the one where she can take care of her family and pack and still have a mate. Leon makes it work despite her very distracted mind.
The truth though is different. The truth is she's scared. She's terrified. She knows she loves Leon and she knows he feels the same. Or well, he's said he loved her and he acts like he loves her but for all she knows, that could end tonight or tomorrow or next week. He hasn't spoken to her about the future. He hasn't discussed making this thing between them permanent. As far as she knows, the werewolf aspect of their relationship has been ignored. The human side is settled but her werewolf side is nervous. She's terrified that Leon will reject her too one day. Maybe not in the next year but maybe, sometime down the road when they're facing a difficult challenge, he'll regret choosing her and will reject her. The first rejection was hard enough. She's not sure how she'd get through the second knowing that he's the glue who fixed her in the first place.
She's also terrified of Cane. Though she didn't make eye contact with him in the throne room or even acknowledge his presence with a simple bow (which she's sure she'd get punished for if he ever got his hands on her), she could feel his presence like a thick, sticky shadow, haunting her. She could feel his warmth, hear his low growls and she'd shiver from the memory of his voice. He smelled the same too and despite being officially rejected and accepting it officially, that smell will always please her until the day she's marked by someone else. She knows he's losing himself. She can tell. He's more tired looking. He's more easily agitated and the message he left with Audrey? His Iota? Her Iota? She knows it isn't just an empty threat.
There's something there and Cane is definitely not going to give up, despite not having any backing from the monarchy. And her biggest fear of them all is that Leon will get hurt.
It'd probably be better for them all if she just gave herself up to him. If she just willingly gave him a second chance, if she looked pass the rejection, pass the unnerving glares and growls, maybe she can make it work. Maybe she can save Leon and Audrey and Nathan some unwanted drama. They have enough on their hands with the rogues and Ryan Holt and the other packs to deal with Cane and his reputation.
It breaks her heart thinking about it - thinking about telling Leon her decision - but she knows, in the long run, it's the right thing to do.
Unable to calm her anxiety, Karmen finds herself once again organizing the kitchen. The pots and pans are in an easy accessible place but their positions with each other is frustrating. She could probably polish the silverware once again. The new silverware isn't supposed to arrive until sometime next week and she's super excited for them. But until then, she'd have to do with these raggedy bunch.
Behind her, a loud sigh echoes and she turns to face Leon leaning against the doorway. Her heart gives a leap in her chest and she bites her cheek from saying anything as she turns her attention back to the pots and pans, all spread out in front of her.
"I figured you'd be in here." He greets her, staying still in his place. She can feel the heat of his gaze as it pierces her back and her hands busy themselves with trying to readjust the pots on the bottom shelf.
"I can't sleep." She answers after a pause. She gets the pots in a new order and starts to work on the pans, placing cotton matts in between to help prevent scratching the surfaces. She stacks the little ones in the big ones and then places them on the second shelf in a way where the handles won't stick out but will be easily accessible. Leon moves behind her and now she can feel the heat of his own body. When she finally has everything in order, he turns her around and stares down at her with a frown.
"Are you still shaken up about him?" He brushes her hair out of her face and then keeps his hands on her neck. She takes a moment to swallow her nerves, staring into his brown eyes.
"He's not going to let this go so easily."
"I don't care." He sternly tells her, looking at each of her eyes to make sure she understands. "I'll accept his challenge any day. I'm not letting go of you and especially not to him."
Karmen shakes her head, her heart racing in her chest at the very idea of it. "Exactly, Leon. He's an alpha. What if he wins? What if you get hurt?"
She pulls away from him and quickly distances herself from him. She opens the drawers that store all of the silverware and then opens the drawers that store the cooking utensils and instantly starts her inspection of them.
"Where is this coming from?" Leon asks from behind her and she turns momentarily to give hm a confusing frown. He's leaning against the counter with his arms folded across his chest, showing off his arm muscles that makes her remember his hugs. "You've never been so concerned about my safety before."
"This and that are different." She argues, shutting one of the utensil drawers, figuring it's pointless to try and polish them right now. "Before all you had to deal with were rogues. You can do that. This...This is an alpha on the verge of losing his mind."
Leon lets out a low growl that makes her stop before she continues. She looks at him, seeing his eyes flashing briefly between his regular dark eyes to his wolf dark eyes. "You think I'm going to lose to Cane?"
He straightens up and takes a step forward, an angry frown on his face. Karmen straightens, swallowing her arguments because she knows he's not finished.
"Do you think I'm so weak that I'd let you go to Cane after everything?" He stops in front of her, nearly trapping her against the opened drawers behind her. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, her mind completely mesmerized by the angry beta in front of her. She's seen him angry before but it's never been with her. Irritated, yes - but never angry.
"I just don't want this to explode..." She mutters. "I just think that maybe it'd be better if...if I just let him have his way. He completely threatened the Iota and I just know he's planning something if we leave it alone. But if I go to him, if I give in...then everyone's safe."
Leon nears and it forces her to step back, her back pushing the drawer close. "Do you want to go to him?"
Karmen can't find her voice. Her heart is screaming to say no but her mind is keeping her logical and she knows that logically, it'd be best if she just let Leon think that.
"Do you want him, Karmen?"
He closes in on her, effectively trapping her and she shivers at the tone of his voice. Avoiding his eyes, she stares at his collar bone that's revealed by his shirt. His beta force falls over her and she flinches, biting her lip to stop herself from answering. But there's only so much she can muster to fight back before her will breaks. His is so much stronger.
"No." She spits out, nearly breaking down into a fit of tears. "No, I don't want him. I want you."
"Then why are you thinking of going to him?" He asks, resting his hands on her hips. Her own hands come to rest on his chest, something that weeks ago would have made her panic with thoughts.
"I don't know." She whispers, squeezing her eyes shut to stop any tears from potentially falling.
"Yes, you do." He pushes, his hot breath against her forehead. "Tell me."
She shakes her head, gripping his shirt and his thumbs start to rub her sides gently. Taking a deep breath, enjoying his scent, she clears her throat and looks up at him. "I'm scared."
He stares at her for a moment and then gently kisses her. His lips are rough but his kiss is sweet and longingly, filled with so much emotion. Her heart explodes with the sensation of falling in love all over again and she leans closer to him. His hands come around her, holding her closer, relieving her back from pressing into the counter and his kiss turns deeper. More passionate, she finds it getting stronger and more urgent than ever. Her heart is pounding her chest, her body is turning hot and there's a part of her that's freaking out so much she wants to push him away but it's not dominant. Just as she starts to enjoy it and let herself go, he breaks apart and his hot, wet lips start trailing down her neck. Her skin shivers with goose bumps and a ticklish sensation makes her bite her lips from letting out a giggle. And then, suddenly, a sharp pain surges through her and she jerks in shock. Her hands turn numb from their grip on his shirt and her body becomes weak. Every good feeling about it leaves instantly and is replaced with a burning sensation that is agonizing.
Leon's hands hold her up as he releases her neck and draws back, his wolf teeth shrinking back to their regular teeth. Karmen is too weak to process any words as she stares blurringly at him. He bends and quickly adjusts his grip until he's carrying her. Her body is turning numb as the burning sensation spreads and a quick kiss to her head soothes it momentarily. Leon carries her out of the kitchen and up to his room. The Moore wolves that are still up ignore the two and a few moments later, Karmen feels herself sinking into a soft mattress.
Her shaky hand reaches to her neck where it comes back with blood and Leon appears a moment later with a wet wash clothe. The cool sensation stings for a moment and then offers relief and Karmen shivers as the material brushes softly against the new mark. Surprised at the situation, Karmen can't help but feel a bit more relieved from Leon's actions. She's not mad that he didn't talk to her about it. She's not mad that he went for it without seeking approval, despite their not being natural mates. She's shocked and in disbelief but at the same time, there's a burst of happiness that is going through her. Her eyes are watery from the pain and the happiness, the relief. All of the strength she can muster, she uses to brush her hand against Leon's arm before giving out to the blackness.
When she wakes up, she's cuddled into Leon's side and his hand is brushing through her hair gently. When he notices her awake, he stares at her for a moment, looking over her for any sign of anger. "How do you feel?"
"Tired." She whispers, briefly closing her eyes. "Are you sure you don't regret that? Or you won't regret it?"
"No one can say you aren't mine now." He tells her adamantly, gently holding her closer. "That mark proves it."
Karmen's fingers gently touch the still sensitive area and flinches slightly. There's a pleasuring sting that lingers there for a moment and she knows that in a few days, it'll feel better. "How long have I been out?"
"It's been a good few hours. It's nearly sunrise." He tells her, yawning slightly. "Sorry I didn't talk to you about it. I couldn't stop myself."
"That's okay."
"Cane isn't going to get his hands on you." He murmurs, keeping her close while staring at the ceiling. "And whatever he's planning, Nathan will be ready for it. We all will. He won't be able to do anything to you or to Audrey or to anyone else in this pack. Understand?"
Karmen nods and feels Leon kiss her head lightly. His confidence is bursting through her and his touch is making her feel more secured than ever before. She used to be nervous and anxious next to him - comfortable, but still nervous and anxious. Now, it's different. Now, she feels safe. She feels warm and at home. She feels peaceful. And now, she feels herself believing in his words more than anything and she prays to Fenrir that he's right. She loves Leon too much for him to be wrong now.