Tracey sat in my room and had calmed me down last night. When I did calm down, she brought me into her room where she had a TV set and put on a movie for us. We ended up falling asleep in her room. Her on the bed, me on the floor. "Michael! Get up buddy! It's visiting day," Tracey giggled as she shook me awake. I groaned when I came to, as my back hurt from the floor, and blinked my eyes open. "What? Why am I on the floor?" I ran a hand through my hair and sat up. Tracey pulled me to my feet, "We fell asleep in my room watching movies, remember?" I let out an 'oh' before started off back to my room. "Where are you going?" She pouted. "To take a piss," I said with a smirk. Tracey's face turned to a disgusted look, "Ew okay." I chuckled before leaving her room and going to my own. I used the restroom, washed my hands, and changed clothes. I changed to a pair of grey sweatpants and snuck on one of my baggy long sleeved shirts. Tracey was waiting outside my room with a huge smile on her face. "God you're annoyingly happy," I said when I saw her. "I get to go home today!" She jumped up and down for a hot minute. I froze. Tracey was the only one I felt comfortable being around here.
"My mom just visited and talked to Miss E, who I said I was doing so much better and I can go home," Tracey spun around and pulled me down the wall, "Your husband is here to see you by the way! You never told me he was British!" I rubbed the back of my neck, "Never came up." She stopped in front of a closed door, "He's in there. I'll be waiting our here for you." I nodded and grabbed the door knob. Gavin hadn't visited on any of the past visiting days like he said he would. I pushed open the door and shut it behind me. Gavin stood up and I broke. I ran over to him and let myself be engulfed in his arms. He held my head against his chest and kept his other arm against my lower back. When we pulled away from the hug, he planted a quick kiss on my lips before we sat down. "I missed you," I let myself say. Gavin cracked a smile, "It's been hell without you. The house is missing some angry yelling at the Xbox." I smiled too. Gavin reached over and grabbed my hand in his. He drew circles on it with his thumb. "How come you haven't been here?"
Gavin was silent before he let out a long, tired sigh. I got anxious. "My mum kept me home for a bit so I could make things up with my dad," he finally said. I sighed in relief. "I talked to your therapist," he said suddenly. I looked up at him, "You did?" Gavin nodded and let out a 'mhm', "She said that you only need to stay for another week and that two months were pretty overrated." "Really?" I looked at him. Gavin nodded again and squeezed my hand, "Oh and Lindsay had a check up yesterday. I could hear the baby's heartbeat." I smiled and looked down at the table. I'm so fucked up mentally that I'm missing out on everything. It's all my fault. Gavin probably hates me for it. "Hey, hey, hey. Look at me," Gavin tugged at my hand. I looked up at him. He squeezed my hand again, "I can literally see the bad thoughts springing in your brain." I looked down again, "Sorry." Gavin removed his hand from mine and cupped my cheek instead, making me look at him. "You're more than the voices, love. Remember that," he said to me, "I told the fans that you took a bit off because you had the flu." "You should've told them the truth," I laughed sarcastically.
An hour passed, meaning Gavin had to leave. I didn't want him to. I wanted to beg him to pay for extra time, but I knew he needed to go to work. Gavin pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tighter than I thought possible, before kissing me passionately. "I love you boi. Keep up the good work," he kissed my cheek. "I love you Gav," I said before walking out of the room, my hand only leaving his when it got out of reach. Tracey elbowed me once the door was closed and Gavin had left. "Aww you two are so cute. How long have you been married?" She asked me as we walked along to the recreational room. "A year in May actually," I answered. "That's adorable," she hummed for a while. "When are you getting checked out?" I changed the subject. "After lunch time," Tracey answered, "I get to hang out with you for a bit longer." I nodded and smiled. We started up a board game, Monopoly actually, while we waited. A couple of the other inmates came and joined in. Yes, I call them inmates because this place is like a prison sometimes.
Tracey left an hour ago, but not after giving me her number and telling me that we should catch up when I'm out. I was forced to talked to Ms. Ellis again. I sat down in the beanbag chair and crossed my legs. "So Michael. I feel like we're on a more personal level, so please call me Jackie," she chuckled. I shrugged, "Alright, Jackie. What's up for today's session?" "You're pretty eager," Jackie tapped her pencil again. "I only got these damn sessions for another week thanks to you so," I leaned back and crossed my arms. "You said more than most patients here so I thought it was necessary." The room was quiet for a moment. "I heard you had quite an anxiety attack last night after our session?" Jackie filled the silence. I took a deep breath, "Yeah.." "Talk to me about it," her voice calm out calm and sweet. I shrugged, "It's not much to talk about." "What was troubling you?" Jackie crossed her legs like last time. I rolled my eyes, "Pretty damn obvious I thought." "You can tell me, Michael." "It was my fault that Gavin has to stay in our house alone and that the loudmouth member of the company is missing. It was my fault that my family is fucked up and for getting put in here. It was all my fault," I rambled, holding back a sob. Jackie just breathed out, "Is it still your fault?" I froze for a second before nodding.