{}Here I am once again. I'm torn into pieces. I can't deny it can't pretend, just thought you were the one{}
{15} After arguing with Sebastian, I finally caved in and let him take me home. After what happened with the man he didn't want to leave my side and I kind of understand him, I was scared too. If that man tried to kidnap me that means that there were more out there who are trying to do just that. I was in danger again.
"They're back." Sebastian sighed and nodded his head, taking one hand off the steer wheel to squeeze mine in reassurance. "I know, they won't hurt you, not on my watch." He promised me like he once did and I nodded my head at him, trusting him. I leaned my head on his shoulder as he drove us to my house, my hand interlaced with his.
He kissed my forehead and I sighed I content. "We still have a date tonight." I remembered him as I pulled my head away to look at him in the eyes. "I know." He raised our interlaced hands and kissed my knuckles, his eyes on the road. My eyes caught the shining ring on my ring finger and I remembered the day he gave me a promise ring better known as a pre-engagement ring.
It was the summer vacation of sophomore year and six months after I was kidnap. Sebastian took me to Pigeon Forge cabins and it was amazing, the view was perfect. The cabin itself was precious. The Cabin had two sleeper sofa, four king bed, hot tub, Jacuzzi bath, pool table, valley and Mountain View, a fire pit and full kitchen. A wooden fireplace to die for and let's not talk about the outdoor breath-taking, the pool was cozy and chill.
We stayed there for two months and it was amazing. It was the best two months of my life. I still remember it like it was yesterday, how not, it was the period I lost my virginity to Sebastian and didn't regret it.
We got stronger after that and never once had any kind of fights, it was love only. How I missed those times. It's not like I'm not happy now don't get me wrong but as we grew old with the years, things started to change and then we realized that not everything is happiness only.
Sometimes we think that love is about happiness only but love hurts too. There is going to be a time when you're going to get hurt, you're going to get in a fight with the person you love, there will be break up and discussions, yelling, screaming, shouting, disappointment. We fight and say things we don't mean but it happens and we have to be prepared for when that day comes.
Our love story is not based because of a mate connection. We build our love with time, with gifts, with caressed, hugs, kisses and love. I didn't fall in love with him because I had to, I fell in love with him because I wanted him to catch me.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and only him. I can't breathe if he's not with me, my heart twist painfully when we fight with each other. Our connection is beyond the mate connection. I cry for him when he doesn't show his emotions, I bleed for him when his hurt, I'm weak for him when he's vulnerable and I would die with him if he dies. We're connected beyond any mate connection ever seen, because we fell in love with each other without being forced to fall.
We're not perfect but we're perfectly imperfect. "Rebekah?" Sebastian's voice snapped me out of my day dream and I turned my head to look at him. "What's going on in that little head of yours?"
I shook my head at him with a smile on my face and leaned forward, my hand twisting his hair as I pulled him down. "Do you want to come inside?" He shook his head and I crawled on his lap, my knees on each side of his hips, my hands cupping his face.
He grasped my back as I leaned our foreheads together, my hair shielding us. "We have a date tonight." He groaned as I started to rub myself at his permanent bulge. He always has a bulge; I don't know how he can handle all that.
"And? We can do it then too." I moved my hips back and forth, my arms around the back of Sebastian's head.
"Rebekah...." He groaned warningly and held my hips tightly, preventing me from moving. I dipped his head in my cleavage and rotated my hips instead, whining when he removed me from on top of him and put me in the passenger seat.
"You're no fun." I huffed and pushed myself up, taking my panties off and opened the door, tossing it at him before getting out of the car. I opened the front door and was pushed inside and slammed on the door, his hands on my bare thighs and head in my cleavage, kissing my breasts.
"Let's go upstairs." I giggled as he rushed us up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door close with a lock sound. He walked me toward my bed and tossed me on it, unfastening his belt and taking off his jeans.
I sat up on my knees and took my jacket off and loosed my tie, unbuttoning my blouse to stay in my bra and skirt. He tossed his tie to the side and unbuttoned his blouse really fast and kicked off his shoes.
He crawled on top of me and I tossed us over, unzipping my skirt and unclasped my bra. He sat up straight and kissed my lips, his hands moving down to cup my ass in my loosed skirt. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my breasts against his chests.
He turned us over and kissed down to my stomach, moving the skirt down as he kissed lower. I moaned loudly and removed one arm to clutch my hand on the sheets. He kissed my sex and swirled his tongue around my pink button, his hot breath tickling me to the point of excitement.
He yanked the skirt form my legs and spread my legs, his head between my sex as he licked my slit open, swirling his tongue in my sex. "Skip foreplay." I moaned as I tugged at his hair, trying to pull him up. He moved on top of me and I pushed his boxers down with my toes, moaning when his tip pushed his way inside.
Later that night....
I played with the knife on the table, whirling it around with my fingers as I stared at the clock, twelve am. I put my elbow on the table and leaned my head on my palm with a sigh, my fingers brushing my hair back. I let the knife fall on the table and stood up, taking the covers from the dishes.
I walked toward the kitchen and dumped the food in the trashcan with the dishes and all. I went back to the table and blew out the candles on the table. "Happy third anniversary baby." I yanked my jacket from my chair and headed to the front door, picking my purse from the cabinet and headed out.
I locked the door with my keys and covered myself with my jacket, blowing air in my hands as I walked to the steps. I slumped on the ground and brought my legs closer, my legs shaking as I waited for Sebastian outside.
Silent tears were running down my face as I consumed on the inside, my nose sniffing as I stared into nothing. I wiped my hot tears way from my face but they kept falling, my body was shivering from the cold and I pulled my jacket closer to my body.
A car appeared and parked in front of my car as Sebastian jumped out of the car. "Baby I'm sorry." He stopped in front of me and kneeled down to touch me. "I couldn't say no." My body tensed at that and started to itch but I controlled myself-ish. "You couldn't say no? You couldn't say no! You can say no to me but not to them?" I wiped my tears away with a sarcastic laugh and stood up on the step.
"I can make it up to..." He started to say but I slapped him hard across his face and pushed him with my hands before starting to fist his chest. "Stop just stop! I don't want you to fucking make it up to me. I'm tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, you've been telling me that for three years and I like an idiot believed you. How could you do this to me? Do you like to see me hurt like this?" I shouted angrily at him while sobbing, my words coming out hurt anguished and wounded.
I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. "Look at me in the eyes when I'm talking to you! Look at me! Look at my red face! Look at the tears on my cheeks and all this crappy mascara on my face do you see all that?! Are you freaking happy! This, this is all your fault, my pain, my sadness, my broken state, this, this is all you." I've never been so angry in my entire life, I was never a violent person and this new me is scaring even myself.
"It was our third anniversary and you missed it. You freaking missed it Sebastian! I told you that it was special and you didn't even care!" Tears blinded my vision, "You didn't even remember it! Do you know how that makes me feel! It makes me feel as If I'm the only one that cares about us, that cherish our moments together."
My shook madly as my body racked with sobs, "Am I just not good enough for you?" I asked weakling and vulnerable as I put a hand on my mouth, sniffing. "Am I not worth it?" I cried out as I put my hands on my face. "I tried, I really tried to make this work but you're being distant. You're choosing your friends over me and it's starting to make me wonder if I'm really worth it, is us being together what you really want? Tell me Sebastian, to remove some of this pain, even if it hurts, I will let you go if that's what you want."
"Rebekah, babe I didn't forget about us. Why would you think that? You mean the world to me, every moment we had is graved in my mind. I really tried to make it to you but time past before I could blink and I haven't realized that I missed it."
"You didn't realize because at the time I wasn't important to you, If you did. No matter the situation, you would have get your ass out and make it in time for our date. You promise me Sebastian, you actually promised me and failed, you failed me big time Sebastian."
"No, let me talk." I said when he tried to speak. "I didn't know that feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself could be completely shattered by one thing, by something so stupid and then you make me feel crazy, you make me feel like it's my fault but I was in pain. Do you not see the pain in my eyes, the hurt? I can't keep being vulnerable like this."
"I never cried so much for someone in my life. And it wasn't because I fell in love with you or because of our destiny. I cried for you because without you I'm nothing, I can't breathe, I can't see, my heart literally stops when I'm not with you and it hurts, it hurts so much."
I gripped my scalps tightly with my fingers, "Gosh I feel so stupid!" I brought my hands down and covered my face as I sobbed loudly, weeping and bawling my heart out. "I can't, I can't." I shook my head as I cried uncontrollably. "I love you and that's why I need to let you go. Not to punish you, but to give me time to understand you better. Goodbye Sebastian." With one last glance, I hurried to my car, feeling my heart breaking in more than just million pieces.