10th Feb, 2021
Tanveer.
For Allah's sake someone donate me a shy pair of eyes!
I just can't help moving my gaze away from her for even half of a second. Even if I try for so I feel my mind forcing my eyes to concentrate on what it feels peace, staring at her non stop.
Is there any doubt that she will not doubt me to do it to every other girl?
Wallahi I never even looked up to any girl even at the first glance but....her! But how'll I let her know that my eyes are only betraying me for her sake. I'm sure she must be thinking me to be a third class playboy.
Whom should I blame it for?
Her beauty or my feelings?
Relax soldier!
Last few hours with her, stare as much as you desire to.
WHAT?
Ufff Ya Rabbi grant me Sabr! Please please please!
Writer.
Tanveer tried snatching his phone from Nahiaan but he hugged it tight and gave a crying voice to him as a warning.
"Stubborn!"
Tanveer breathed moving back and allowed him to suck the phone all he wants.
Beside them sat Thanzia playing with her fingers in nervousness. She neither was able to move from here nor could start any conversation with him as he's also busy with Nahiaan.
She felt desperate yet helpless. These two weeks with him felt like 2 days only. She knew that her heart still craves for Shahveer but it somewhere got connected to Tanveer.
Worried about the days alone without Tanveer but staying near Shahveer made her even more frightened. She's also given the responsibility of loving Nahiaan being his mother. That isn't such a big deal to her as she's already more than that to him.
But what...to his father?
His sister in law, just?
••••
Thanzia.
Suddenly my ears echoed with the sound coming from the phone. The voice made me jump on my place with fear running above my veins.
The phone in Nahiaan's hand turned on a recitation video playing it in loud volume.
I looked at Nahiaan finding him giggling in excitement.
"Dadda Dadda!"
Even he recognizes his father's voice!
"A minute Nahiaan...."
Tanveer tried to take the phone from him but he immediately moved away to me with the phone.
"Let me decrease it's volume at least. Why is he so stubborn?"
Tanveer glared at him when he hugged me to not give him any scope to take the phone.
I felt myself shivering at the loud voice. Hearing it surely is the last thing I would love to.
"Iaan...baby..."
I tried to take the phone gently but he looked up at me with a puppy face. Such a drama prince!
"Mummum...Dadda... Dadda.."
Nahiaan voiced out telling it's his voice.
"Dadda." He giggled at Tanveer nodding his head excitingly.
"Yeah Dadda. Come to me."
To Tanveer's extended hands, Nahiaan crawled back to him and sat on his lap.
"Lower the volume...."
I mumbled, looking away.
"Nahiaan please..."
He anyhow lowered it enough down without taking the phone from Nahiaan's hand.
I looked up to see Nahiaan attaching the phone to his ear enjoying the recitation.
How far I tried moving my attention away from his voice, anyhow it reaches to my heart, bleeding it to death.
First of all I would simply listen to his recitations along with others. That was soothing, peaceful.
But with the passing time I stopped listening to every other reciters and only chose his videos.
The page where he posted the recitations didn't introduce him.
Somehow I grew the want to know the owner of the voice.
And when I finally got to know that it's him...... Shahveer, I listened more to the recitations. Sometimes I would just spend my whole nights sleepless listening to the Surahs recited by him.
Until I realized that his voice soothed me, not the words of Quran.
Though it was hard to not listen to it unlike before, I had to stop it, anyhow. I would feel peace yet my whole heart was against me to commit such a filthy sin.
I then collected Abbu's recitation voices and concentrated on that.
Alhamdulillah, that helped a lot.
But I would still crave to listen to him, and then see him, never realizing my heart would this how fall for him.
I felt myself loving him!
Why did it happen to me?
That too through the path of Quran?
Writer.
"Yol voish?"
(Your voice)
Nahiaan asked nodding his head cutely at Tanveer. Chuckling, he pecked Nahiaan's forehead and nodded back.
"Dadda's voish, Mummum Dadda Dadda."
He laughed out loud looking at Thanzia with excitement. Thanzia froze on her place and with a jolt came out of her thoughts hearing him.
"G...baby...come on..."
"Mummum yaaaaa." Nahiaan forwarded the phone to Thanzia as if asking her to listen to it.
"Wise Iaan! Is this Dadda's voice?"
Thanzia pulled him in her arms and begin kissing all over his face.
"Dadda's voish."
He pointed to Tanveer who chuckled and shifted near Thanzia.
Thanzia moved her gaze to Tanveer and smiled warmly even though the recitation voice had her attention.
"Hmm...Zuhr...I'm going to Masjid."
Tanveer spoke looking at her lovingly.
Their eyes collided as she nodded her head and looked down.
"Dadda Dadda."
"Stay with Mummum, bye bye." Tanveer bowed down to kiss Nahiaan which made his lips also touch Thanzia's hands.
He looked up biting his lower lip with a smile and then immediately got down the bed.
"Shahveer's voice is so like yours......like...mmm no difference, like every other thing..."
She didn't know why she said so. Immediately regretting to speak up, Thanzia gritted her teeth wishing Tanveer to not hear her.
"Aahhh yeah....we both recited equal verses in every video but it seems like the voice is one."
He replied, standing near the door watching Nahiaan as he's admiring Thanzia with his wet kisses.
Immediately hearing him Thanzia's hand slipped out from holding Nahiaan when she looked back with her shocked expression to Tanveer, thankfully who's not staring at her now but Nahiaan.
A chuckle escaped her mouth as she thought that her ears heard wrong.
She knew that it's Shahveer's voice.
"That's.... Shahveer's voice...?"
She questioned, taking his gaze to her to reply.
"Both of us recited every Surah together."
He answered walking back to the bed to take his phone from Nahiaan.
"Nahiaannnn... please give the phone." He requested while Thanzia watched him horrified and puzzled.
"Nnnoooooo aaaaaiiii."
"Dadda needs to go!!! Allah, this boy!"
"I...uh...aah..."
Thanzia was going to say something but her voice as if got stuck in her throat. She looked at Tanveer with wide eyes, not understanding anything.
"Thank you." When Nahiaan finally gave up and handed the phone to Tanveer, he kissed his cheek and ran away leaving them.
"Mummum." Nahiaan looked at Thanzia and held her face with his tiny hands.
"Mum...ummm.." He attached his mouth to hers and begin mumbling anything and everything in his baby voice.
Thanzia sat surprised for a while, unable to think anything. Her throat ached running it down to her chest.
"Voice....." She mumbled and immediately took her phone from near the pillows behind her.
Getting into Youtube, she searched for the page and played a recitation video.
"Aaaaaii Dadda voish Dadda Dadda."
"Both of us recited every Surah together."
That wasn't recited alone by Shahveer. The voice belonged to both of them. And she never realized that it was his brother's.
The voice that led her to love Shahveer wasn't alone his.
That's so tricky, so unfair.
She still couldn't understand anything. Her mind stopped functioning. It flashed all the moments he heard Shahveer and Tanveer's voices.
No doubt they have no differences in their voices. No one can ever guess that both the voices aren't same.
And she fell for the same misunderstanding.
But whom would she love if she would have known that both of their voices together at once took her heart's control?
"I...don't.. know anything....what's... hap.. happening?"
She mumbled looking nowhere.
Minutes passed, she stayed unsolved with her puzzled feelings. Tears rained down unconditionally wetting her cheeks that Nahiaan noticed and jumped up to her.
"Maaaa."
He mumbled, making her blink her eyes as she looked down hearing the word.
His first word was Mummum, that he called to her.
And for the first time now he called her Maa.
"Maa." He again said, keeping his lips parted with his eyes showing worry for her.
He put his hands up on her chest and hid his face in her neck.
Thanzia couldn't control smiling happily with those tears on her eyes. She hugged Nahiaan tightly and kissed his head.
"Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar."
A voice rose up, giving Zuhr prayer's Azaan, moving her attention to it when she realized that the voice's owner resides in her heart.
Confused whose voice actually it is between Tanveer and Shahveer's, she tried to listen to it carefully.
But she gave up knowing that it's impossible for her.
The voices reciting the words of Quran brought her to this chapter of life, now the Author of the words better knows how to lead her to the end of the chapter.
••••
Their eyes at the same time moved to each other as the sides of their mouths twitched into beautiful smiles. Tanveer walked inside and locked the door. Turning back, he found Shahveer sitting back to the couch.
"Soldier!"
"Doctor!"
They both uttered together.
Their voices seemed lost and helpless, desperate and painful. Shahveer's body begin shivering as he is unable to meet his gaze with Tanveer.
While Tanveer showed no reactions to his feelings with fear to not fall weak in front of his brother.
He sat beside Shahveer creating a weird and uncomfortable silence between them. Both could hear themselves breathing heavily trying to control their emotions.
"Where...is Nahiaan?"
Shahveer questioned, closing his eyes tight and forcing his teeth to lessen the pain of his brain veins.
"He slept...."
"Hmm...."
Again silence filled the room. 5 minutes passed but none of them spoke.
Watching the time in his wrist watch, Shahveer moved from the couch to the floor that took Tanveer's gaze to him.
He moved and sat on his knees near Tanveer. Without speaking a word, he rested his head on Tanveer's thighs as Tanveer's hands found their ways to his, interwinding their hands tightly, Shahveer snuggled in his lap making him more afraid.
Tanveer looked away trying his best to not fall weak and cry. But feeling his brother shivering, his own body shivered. His head ached as he took his hand out of Shahveer's grip and ruffled his hair.
"Not my hair BHAI." He almost yelled in frustration.
"Sorry." Tanveer mumbled and moved his hand away for a second. Intentionally he again put his hand in his head and took his hair in his grip.
"No sorry!"
He ran his fingers through his hair at which Shahveer chuckled and looked up, showing his red eyes that were forced to not cry.
He smirked and suddenly made his hand up to Tanveer's hair to tease him back.
"NOT MY HAIR!"
Tanveer screamed immediately moving his head away.
"You're the one to start."
"Ok fine."
They both looked like twins, or more like carbon copy of each other. Same black wavy hair, brown beard, husky voice, small fuel colored eyes, sharp and thin nose and roseberry flavoured perfect sized lips.
Though everyone can recognize them right due to their age gap, hair style and beard's size differences.
"Don't...go.."
Shahveer mumbled like a kid, looking with pleading eyes at his brother who helplessly shook his head at him.
"I'm so alone Bhai...don't leave me." He again pleaded, ready to cry.
"I'll....I'll...be.. visiting...more often now." Tanveer said and turned his head away to not let him see the tears filling his eyes.
"Like...more 2-3 or 4 years later huh?" Shahveer's voice came out angrily as he held Tanveer's hand tight.
"No..no...4-5 months? I promise."
"Thanks to Bhabi...." Shahveer smiled as a chuckle escaped his mouth. He immediately pulled Tanveer in a bone crushing hug showering his pain and love to him.
••••
"So.....good...bye....take care of my family..please..." Tanveer requested with helplessness. He tightened his grip on her arms resting his forehead against hers.
"Hmm...." She nodded setting her eyes free to shed tears. She held him by his shoulders as he breathed in her lips. Their body shivered at the closeness but hearts felt peace airing their veins.
"I'll....miss you... Tanvee..."
She finally got the courage to let him know so. He smiled with closed eyes at this and moved his hand to her neck.
She put her left hand on his chest and rested another in his shoulder as he leaned down to kiss her.
The next minute the both backed off with nervousness.
Tanveer looked at her as he wiped his mouth with his knuckles having an expressionless face.
"I...uh... everyone's waiting down."
Giving an excuse to escape from his gaze, Thanzia ran towards the door pulling her Niqaab up.
"Zia wait....wait..."
She couldn't unlock the door hearing his call.
"Hmm....."
Nervous and afraid, she hummed.
"Come here."
"You...you are..getting late..."
"Doesn't matter. Come to me."
He sounded serious.
Thanzia silently turned and walked to him with her gaze fixed on the floor.
"G....?"
He held her by her shoulders and waited for her to look up. When she did, he fake smiled and turned his head to the other side.
"I don't know what's the problem with you, or what's paining you.
There's something which I don't know and....is serious, right?
I don't want to know either if I'm not supposed to know. That might be related to your past for which you're so....so dead and lost.
Thanzia I am not a fool to ignore you always being upset, broken an....."
"No no...noo Tanveer...it's...it's nothing like tha..that...I'm happy...I am...
I told you, I'm just scared of you being a soldier and my paren......."
"Please wifey, don't lie...please...."
He shook his head with a helpless expression, looking straight at her eyes.
She couldn't further utter any word as her lips begin shivering in fear, fear of hurting him.
Tears filled her eyes as she gulped down looking at him with guilt.
"Yea...yeah that...that might be a reason too...but..it's not only that.
Not at all related to me.
But whatever it is, if you think I should know, then let me know, I promise I'll support you. And if I shouldn't know this......I pray you to cross this test and be fine soon.
And I love it when you cry in Sujood.
Take care of yourself. I'll miss you."
He finished speaking with a soft peck in her forehead, next his warm hug pushed away all her pain and regret. She hugged him back snuggling in his chest as if that's where she can only find her heart in peace.
"Allah Hafiz."
"Allah Hafiz."
•••••
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