Last chapter was sad so I am publishing early for you all.
Hope you enjoy it!.
******
Badar looks at her, "You should know that leaving a young child is dangerous these days".
She stands from her position wiping her tears looking at the child as she frowns, "That's not my child".
He frowns looking at the child, "She said she is yours".
"Ayesha, why are you here?". They heard a woman say as she holds the child, "I am sorry. She likes running away and I can't run as fast as her".
She watches the woman taking away the child while she turns to the man who turns around ready to leave.
"Your apology". She said crossing her hand over her chest as he turns around, "Is due".
"What apology?". He asked raising his eyebrows as the woman who do have the guts to ask one from him
Usually, with the scar on his face and a leg missing from his body is enough for people to be uninterested unless they want to hear his past experiences for their gossiping purpose.
"You accused me of not knowing how to handle a child". She said pointing to the girl who was leaving the cemetery, "And it wasn't even my child".
He shrugged using his clutches to turn to her properly and not even once did her eyes move down to his leg when most people would stare at it for long.
"It wasn't my fault that the child said she is yours". He stated narrowing his eyes at her wanting to scare her off
She huffed blowing her baby hair away from her face pointing her finger at him, "Yeh koi achi baat toh nahi k ek toh galti karo uper se aur drama shoro kar do". (This is not a good thing. That first you make a mistake and then do more drama)
"Drama kon kar raha hai nazar a raha hai". He said rolling his eyes (Anyone can see who is doing the drama)
"Jis ki ankhein sahi ho gi us ko toh sahi se nazar aye ga k tum kar rahy ho". (The one who can see properly will know it is you who is doing the drama)
"Yeh toh tumhari soch hai na aglay k fasle khud se kyun kar rahi ho?". (That is your thinking why are you making decisions for others)
"Meri marzi". (My wish)
"Toh meri bhi marzi hai k jao nahi layni maine koi maafi. Ja kar kisi aur se lo". (Then it's my wish that I don't want to ask for forgiveness. Go and ask from someone else)
"Mujhe umeed hai k agar kisi decent shakhs nae galti ki hoti, toh mujhe us se maafi ka khud kahta, mujhe nahi bolna parta". (I am sure if there is a decent man who did a mistake, he would have apologised on his own, I wouldn't have to ask him)
"Wese yeh maafi ka scene kia hai jo tum ittna pichy parhi ho tum mere?". (What's the deal with this apology drama that you are after me for?)
She throws her hand in the air frustrated, "Tumhara damag sahi honay wala hai lagta hai, umar k saath saath kum hota ja raha hai". (Your brain needs to be fixed. With age, it's starting to shrink)
"Aur tumhae ache doctor ki zarorat hai ache ilaaj k liye. Lagta hai umar k saath saath tumhara damag he nahi raha baaki". (And you need a good doctor for treatment for your brain. Because it seem with age your brain is not even there)
"Dekho tum--". (Look you--)
"Haan dekhao--". (Yes, show me--)
Her phone rings breaking their bickering as she sent a glare at him which he returns as she answers her call. She looks at him still standing there and originally she thought he will leave right away but didn't.
She ends the call heading towards the gate of the cemetery since her taxi driver is here and he follows behind her.
She turns around looking at him once she was near the car.
"Is there something you want?". She asked confused
"Don't leave for less crowded places without someone by your side especially like cemetery". He said as he turns around leaving her more confused
She enters inside her car shaking her head as her temper is still rising with the encounter with that man. She knows she isn't going to like him, at all.
He enters inside his car sighing as even after all these years walking in clutches never gets easier or used to. He leans on his seat as his driver starts to drive away.
"Who was that woman?". His driver who had been with him since he lost his leg asked curiously
"A very rude woman I don't know about". He said shaking his head then he mumbles, "And I will never know about her again".
"What are you doing here?". They both asked looking at each other as they stand in front of the orphanage
"I should be asking that". She said angrily
"No way, I should be asking that. Stop stealing my lines". He snapped because now his mood is worse, "It wasn't enough to deal with you in the morning now I have to see you again".
"Mutual feelings". She said moving past him and inside the orphanage as her steps made a loud sound because she wanted to show him she isn't having it
"Oh, you two are here. Come on in, the kids are waiting". The orphanage owner said rushing them in
"I know they are waiting for me". She said smiling through her clenched teeth
He narrows his eyes at him, "I am sure they know that I am someone worth waiting for".
"Ah, you two know each other?". The owner asked confused, "I was thinking of introducing you today but I guess this is good".
"I don't know her".
"I don't know him".
They both glare at each other.
"I don't want to know him". She said huffing as she taps her feet
"Like I am dying to know you. I would rather know a new animal than to know you". He said
"Did you just compared me to an animal?". She asked crossing her arms over her chest ready to kill him
"I never said that but if you want to take it that way". He said shrugging
"How dare you--". She started
"You can continue this war later. Come on". The owner said taking their attention away as she march towards the kitchen knowing the children are waiting for her brownies
As she stands to knead the dough she looks at the infuriating man in front of her who is doing the same just that his strength on dough is killing the dough.
"Bhai, what did you do?". The child- Avni asked laughing as she looks at his dough, "This is all....water".
She laughs quietly watching the kids giving him the disapproving look while he looks lost in them.
"How about you can help me with the table?. I am sure Sanam can look after this better". The owner said laughing at his misery while he just frowns
She chuckles as he sends her a glare before sulking and following behind the owner. She finishes the brownies and extra cake that she made for them setting them on the table.
She moves back to stand at the side watching everyone enjoying the sweets she made. She looks at the sky turning dark and just like that, another day went by.
She sighs.
The night is always hard to spend because that is when the emotions are heightened inside of her making her choke at the need to hold something or someone.
"You need to make something of yourself, Sanam". The owner said standing beside her
She laughs dryly, "I am almost 30, what can I possibly make of myself?. It's practically a death warning coming in and I am waiting for it".
The owner shakes her head, "Agar har shakhs marny wale k saath marna shoro ho jaye toh yeh duniya na chalti". (If every person starts to die with others death the world would never function properly)
"Mera is duniya mai jo sub se azeez tha woh maine qurban kar diya hai, aur ek dafa uff nahi ki, ab mazeed kuch nahi hai mere pass jo mai qurban kar sakhoon". (I have sacrificed the most precious thing of mine to this world without any word of complaint, now I don't have anything more to sacrifice)
"Jeena seekho, Sanam. Zindagi lambi hai agar apni takleefo per isi tarha har maan lo gi toh yeh duniya tumhae maar day gi". (Learn to live, Sanam. Life is long if you start dying with every pain that you encounter then this world will kill you from the inside)
"Maar toh diya hai". (I am already dead inside)
Someone bumped into her making her stumble and she turns around only to find him again.
"Dekho meri galti nahi thi woh bachi--". He started (look, it isn't my fault that child--)
"Tumhari galti hoti kub hai?. Hameshah he kisi aur ki hoti hai bus ek tum he sub mai shareef chal rahy ho". (When are you ever at mistake?. It's always everyone's mistakes and you are the only right one walking among them)
"Aur kia. Jub meri galti nahi toh kyun kahoon meri hai?". (So what?. Why should I say it's my mistake when it's not)
"Apologise to me right now". She said narrowing her eyes
"You have a obsession of asking for apologies".
"And you have a strong habit of being rude".
"I am rude?. Have you seen yourself?".
"I am much better than you".
"I wanted them to meet and build a house". The owner said sighing as they continued bickering, "But at this rate, they will burn my house down".
She enters inside her house tired of the day and the bickering with that annoying man only seem to sour her mood to no end.
"Where have you been?". She heard her husband's younger brother (Usman) ask as she enters the hall
"Orphanage". She said moving past him to leave to her room
"Is this the time to come home?. Don't you know which women stay out of the house this late?". Usman said narrowing his eyes
She turns to him sharply, "Yeh tum kis lehjay mai baat kar rahy ho mujhe se?". (In which manner are you speaking to me)
"This is because of your consistent habits". Usman accused, "Agar mere ghar mai rahna hai toh mere ghar ka tareeka se rahna ho ga". (If you want to stay in my house, you will have to live how I want you to)
She snickers, "Tumhara ghar?. Yeh mere shohar ka ghar hai jo woh mere naam kar k gaye the". (Your house?. This is my husband house which he placed under my name before he died)
"Aur woh mera bhai tha". (And he was my brother)
"Haan toh maine kub kaha nahi the, per yeh mera ghar hai toh yaha mere se zara tameez se baat karna, warna zayada masla hai toh samaan lo aur nikal jao". (I never said he wasn't but this is my house so talk to me with respect and in your limits or if you have issue, take your luggage and leave out of my house)
"Himmat kaisi hoyi tumhari mere se is tarha baat karny ki jub tum nae mere bhai ko maara hai?". (How dare you speak to me after killing my brother)
"Apne ap ko dekha hai tum nae?. Tumhare bhai ko maine maara?. Khuda k kaamo mai agar insaan dakhal day sakty, toh kisi ka piyaara us se door na hota aj. Is se zayada imaan toh tumhare bhai k pass tha. Aj agar woh yaha hotay toh tumhay dekh kar bohat udhaas hotay". (Have you looked at yourself?. I killed your brother?. If people can interfere in God's work then no one would have to be separated from their loved ones. Your brother was more firm on his religious beliefs than you. If he was here today, he would have been very sad after looking at you like this)
She marches angrily to her room shutting the door hard to let him know she is pissed. This has been a daily routine after her husband died. At first, she and her husband were supposed to live in this house after his death his mother along with his younger brother and wife came here.
Though at first, they acted nice and his mother asked her to transfer the property to the man in the house but this is the only things she has of him with her so she didn't agree that is when everything starts to turn this way.
They started putting unwanted restrictions and started taking the money she gets for her husband service. She managed to get her degree because of her parents help and some money she saved.
She heard the door knocking and she sighs as his mother came in.
"Did you think about it?". His mother asked again
"I have told you already that I am not becoming your son's (Usman)- second wife". She said frustrated with this topic of the last five years
"What is wrong in it?. You are not allowed to live without a mahram in a house and he can give you protection". His mother said
"Ask him to leave then. He can barely control his tongue with me I don't want to even think of what he will do if I marry him". She said shrugging wanting to sleep because she took her medication for sleep already and it makes her dizzy
"This is nonsense. We are bearing you even after you take our precious family--". His mother started
"You can leave now". She said pointing to the door because she isn't having this conversation
People love to blame others for everything. That is what she learned through her years when her husband sacrificed his life for his country but people accused her of his death. They said she took him away after a day in marriage and she is jinxed.
At first and for some years she believed in it and somewhere she still does but when she met the orphanage owner is when she starts to look through her vision instead of peoples.
For her husband's family, she is now a burden and a future baby maker since his younger brother since his first wife couldn't have children, they want her to do it for them. Just to provide them with children without respect or any care.
She refuses to be treated in that manner.
This fight is lonely and hard but it is a fight for herself and she will continue to fight it. Her husband never used to teach her to walk holding only his hand. Since they started growing on each other, he always taught her the evil of the world and how she has to learn to fight them.
It's important to fight but she understands that the people around her only imply religion and values as they like and when they like. Since she was young and confused, she thought the people around her even her family were teaching her the right teaching.
But, that wasn't the case.
They were all teaching her a religion that pressed her down and pressured her. She didn't feel anything but suffocated all the time and that shouldn't be the case.
So, she decided to find a people and person who made religion pleasing not by turning it around but having her understand the why, without degrading her.
That's when she found how much worth she has in front of her true creator that she didn't want the worth of this world anymore.
He limps towards his house watching the people stare and whispers among themselves.
Sacrificing your life for the country or sacrificing a piece of your body doesn't bring much back. Though it's an honourable job to do, it is still a job right?.
All he gets is unwanted pieces of advice and the only reason people do talk to him is to hear how spicy his story of losing a leg is and just how patient and humoured he feels for it.
Isn't that force?. They want him to say big words but do they even know how it was to watch your team die at the hand of the enemy?. And how it was when his leg was taken right in front of his eyes?.
Why does no one ask about his fears?. Or his trauma?.
Because people do not want to deal with anyone trauma that isn't there.
Which only brings him long sighs of people at the sight of him and pity for him because he can't ever live a normal life.
He sighs.
He enters inside his rented middle-class house because the job he did never pays enough to build a mansion of his own unless you are someone in a very high level.
"I found a woman who is in her 30 with three children". His mother said as she saw him
"Why do you do this?". He asked frustrated, "Why do you want a woman to come live with me and suffer?. Not to discriminate but why do you always bring a woman who has children?. How will I ever be able to take care of them when I barely make a living?".
"That is why I choose a working woman for you". His mother said shrugging, "We don't have many options so if she has children and a husband she won't be able to leave you because she can't do that for her kids".
He laughs dryly, "Is that why you always bring the woman who has some sort of background especially children?. So, if I become a burden on them, they can't run away from me?. Because having a man beside her gives some sick sense of safety?".
"You don't understand our society". His mother said looking at the woman picture
He throws his clutches startling her, "You are the one who is making this sick society, the way it is now and you are continuing to force more people to be that way".
"So what?. Do you know how people look at you?. What they say to me?. I lost my husband in the same field and now I have a son who--". His mother shouted
He shakes his head, "Maybe I should have died with my team too. At least, I wouldn't have to face all of this".
He left his house.
"I don't want to stay in this house where I am insulted every day". Usman said, the next morning as his mother went on with the pleading show
She continued watching it as she is getting late because of this but if it ends in her favour, it's all good.
"Ok. Pack your bags before I get home and leave my house. Make sure you don't have any of my house keys with you". She said as she takes her bag watching their faces pale, "And don't even think about marrying me to solve your property issues. This house is mine no matter what you do unless you choose to kill me for it".
She shrugged walking out of the house because she really wanted to live in her husband memories even if it was of one night with her but with those people in the house, all she wished for is to run away instead.
She walks looking at the flowers blooming and this must be the 10th year without him that she is witnessing this and she bumped into someone.
"I feel like we are destined to be at each other throat at this point". He said sighing as he watches her eyes narrowing at him, "It isn't me who bumped into you".
"I feel like we have an ill faith because every time we meet, you blame someone else of your doing". She said passing by him as he follows
"Are you heading to the cemetery again?". He asked casually
"Don't you have some work to do?". She asked curiously, "You always seem to be running around".
He snickers, "Running around?. Who?. Me?. I can't possibly run like this".
He pointed to his body while she looks at him confused, "In case you are dumb to realise, I don't have a leg".
"I understand that but who said that one needs legs to run?". She asked thoughtfully watching his face turns to confusion, "You need a heart and passion for it. If you think you are running, you are running. People sets their own standards of running that they can achieve, why not put the one you can achieve?".
"I never saw that coming from you". He said softly
"It's your lucky day". She said shrugging, "And no, I am not heading to the cemetery. I had a rough morning so I am late to work already. I would have love to go to cemetery though".
"Skip work then". He said
"In case you don't know how the office works, we can't take days off like that". She said
"Don't you work to make your life better?. How is that if you ruin yourself for it, is better?". He asked genuinely
"Some people work because they want to live and without working, they can't live". She stated
"Why do I think you work while waiting for your life to end?". He asked looking as her face turn sour, "If one life could end that fast and easy, don't you think I would have died long ago?".
"Why do you keep living?". She asked curiously
"Because that is what my creator wished for me. If he wanted me dead, I would have died with my team back then. If he made me live after all those battle even without a leg, shouldn't I try to live too?. Wouldn't it be unfair to those who lost their life hoping they could be alive even if it was without a leg, eye, hand or anything?". He asked, "Wouldn't it be unfair to those who wish us happiness to look at us now living in nothing but sorrow hoping life to end?".
His words remain on her mind for the whole day as she tries to make her mind not to go around them. But, she couldn't help it.
She sighs.
Another day comes to an end.
She enters inside her house to find that the house was actually empty and she felt relieved for the first time to not come back to some taunts and nagging.
She went to her room locking the door which is her habit as she closes all the light of the house.
It wasn't until she was in deep sleep that she heard some movements. She frowns as she opens her eyes trying to work her brian as she realises someone broke into her house.
She didn't know who to call as she dialled the police number but knowing her area police never comes on time, she needed to run.
She wears an abaya over her body and the moment her door starts to bang loudly she jumped out of her window, running without looking back at anything.
That is until she bumped into someone.
"Sanam, kia ho gaya?. Yeh, tum--". He started as he watching the way tears falls down her face and her scared eyes looking at him like her only shield which alerted his senses too, "Kisi nae kuch kiya hai tumhare saath?. Batao mujhe". (Sanam, what happened?. Why, you--) (did someone do something to you, tell me)
She shakes her head, "I need protection. Please, protect me".
He didn't wanted to he anyone need that they are force to bear but maybe he can be someone else strength to carry on.