𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ~ 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨, 𝐊𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐝
Warning: Feels, Angst, abuse, Cuteness
Words: 1.2k
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Never have I felt loved, nor wanted in anyone's lives. I felt like my life has one person, and that is to be a pawn. My body would be numb, my throat dry, scars marred across my body, words that run through my head with negative emotions that constantly puts me down. What was I meant to do with life? Will I ever find love? Will I find someone who wants me, or will i suffer alone?
I was sprawled across the floor as I look up to my father, as he throws a bottle of beer at me seeing it shatter into millions of pieces. I whimper in fear feeling the glass dig into my skin, before I felt him storm towards me grabbing me by the roots of my hair pulling me up.
"You dumb little shit, you have no honour in our family!!!" he roars. "I don't care if you returned from the war with your dumb titan friends, you have nothing special about you. You are so like your damn mother!"
"She died with cancer, but you never cared! You never took her to the doctors, she was your wife!!!" i cry out, when he slaps me harshly sending me into sea of glass. Pain shoots through me feeling weak, even though I was a soldier. I was too weak to fight my father, because he was all that I have left.
"Maybe you should go die, I'm surprised you're alive after your return," he spat bitterly, kicking me into the stomach harshly before storming off. I try to gather my breathe but tears stung a the corners of my eyes, feeling warm liquid seeping through my shirt. My hands shakes violently lifting my shirt revealing a large piece of glass impaled in me, feeling my chest tighten.
"W-Why?"
{TimeSkip}
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I walk down the streets seen apparently I was meeting up with Pieck, Reiner, Porco and the three kids. Zeke suggested we should, and he made sure I would go. I cringe in pain clutching my abdomen after what happened yesterday, as I wrapped it up in bandages.
"Big Sister (Y/N)!!!" I hear, turning around I was greeted with warm smiles from the young candidates with Udo, Zofia, Falco and Gabi.
"Morning you four, how are feeling?"
"Great!!! Do you know where Reiner is?" Gabi replies, as I sigh.
"Sorry no, they should be coming very shortly," i reply, when i felt a small tap on my shoulder from behind. I jump in surprise making me squeak, when my eyes lock with the man I have been having feelings for since we were kids.
"Morning (Y/N)," he cheekily grins, as I punch him playfully.
"D-Don't d-do that," i pout, as he ruffles my hair playfully.
"I'm just having fun,"
"Tch whatever," i mutter, when I saw Pieck and Reiner walking side by side towards us.
"Morning everyone!" Pieck greets, still using her crutch. "Alright now, who is ready for the festival?"
"Me!"
"Me!!!"
"No me!!!"
"Alright you two," I refer to Gabi and Falco.
{TimeSkip}
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I look at the amazing food and items seeing the kids grabbing food and sweets, but I didn't have the money due to my father taking it from me to use on at the tavern instead. I sigh deeply wondering when I should end it, my life. I may seem happy around people, but on the inside I want the pain to end.
"Hey, you want something (Y/N)?"
"Huh?"
His grey orbs look into mine with slight concern before lighting up, "You want to get a candy apple?" He asks me, seeing a stall not far.
"I-I couldn't, I didn't b-bring any mo--"
"It's fine, it's on me," he assures me, taking my hand my face grows bright red before walking with him. The way he would hold my hand, made me feel safe like I wanted to hold him forever. The thing is, he wouldn't want a failure like me. We got to the stall, as he buys two candy apples before he passes me one. "Here, you seem like you need a little sugar."
"T-thank you," I blush, when I felt his free hand take mine.
"You have been very awfully quiet, are you alright?" he asks me, feeling my heart increase with chest tightening.
"Y-Yeah, just tired," I lie, as he pats my head.
"Get more sleep then," he says gently, when he takes my hand again. "Come on, how about we just head to the docks where it's more quiet?"
"S-Sure,"
We both manage to push our way through the thick crowd, finding the edge of the port before finding a place where we usually sit near the beach. We both sat down biting into our candy apples, watching the ocean sway and make a gentle crash lulling me to a sleepy state.
"(Y/N), you can.....you can cut the crap," He breaks the silence, making me look up in confusion seeing him look down to me. "I know something is going on, I've been noticing your skin. Your lack of sleep, eating. What has been going on?"
How on earth did he pick it up? Was my bandage too noticeable, or was the glass cuts still visible? I gulp deeply before lowering my head, "Nothing has been going on," I lie again, trying to avoid something that I might regret.
"Dammit (Y/N), I hate seeing you like this," he says sternly, as I bite slowly on my apple.
"Do you really care anyway?"
"Huh?"
"Do you care about me?"
"What on eart--" he pauses, when I felt his hands skim across my cheek. "Wait......why are there so many scratches on yo--"
"Porco.......I don't think you would want to get in my life problems," i say, as I stood up. Before I could leave I felt his hand grasp my wrist pulling me back, making me stumble into his chest.
"(Y/N) I care too much for you, just....please tell me what's going on?"
My eyes start to water knowing I couldn't keep it in, "You wanna know what it is, it's my goddamn father!!!" i waver, tightening my grip in a fist. "I have never felt loved in my life, and I feel like my existence doesn't matter anymore. He has.....he has been....abusing me."
"What?"
"He takes my money, blames me for everything and tells me to go and die in the war," I explain try my best to hold my tears in when they start falling, as I stood there helpless. Porco steps forward placing a hand around the back of my neck, while the other pulls me into his warm chest. My body tenses in his arms, when he rubs my back.
"No body, not even you should go through that," he whispers gently, as I tighten my grip around him.
"I just wanted to be loved,"
"You are loved, by me," he whispers, before pecking my temple gently making me cry even more.
"W-Why me, aren't I a failure?"
He pulls away looking me into his eyes, "You aren't a failure, you are (Y/N) (L/N)......a fighter, a friend....a soldier," he says sternly, wiping away my tears.
"T-Thankyou P-Porco," i sob, burying my face into his chest when I felt pain shoot through my body pulling away quickly.
"What is it?" he asks in concern.
"My father, he threw glass bottles at me....and I might of ended up with an injury," I say, when he takes my hand.
"How about we head back to my place early, you can stay with me for a bit if you want?"
"I couldn't,"
"You can, and also we need to get your wounds properly treated," he says, his fingers glide along my jawline before pulling me close. My face growing warm when I felt his lips against mine, as I felt my heart beating rapidly. He pulls away breathlessly, as he tucks a strand of hair away from my face. "I love you, and I will give you that love that you deserved."
"Porco, how did yo--"
"I'm very good at observing," he chuckles, before taking my hand in his large one. "Now let's go enjoy the festival a little more, before heading back?"
"That's okay,"
"I will protect you, no matter what,"
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A/N: Hey guys, I know this was cliche towards the end. Anyway I hope you all are staying safe and have a great day or night
~ Little Bean