UMSHADO

CHAPTER 48

I look at this wonderful man and kiss him. “ I applied for the cleaners post at the kids school and when I got a call that I was one of the few people selected to come to the interviews the next day, I was so happy and excited. I thought finally I’m going to have a job and provide for my kids. I prayed during the night and the following morning. I left with the kids to school and decided to wait there because my interview was at nine am. The others arrived and one by one they went in and did their interview. I was the last one and the time was around 12:15pm. I got in and the principal was alone. I was surprised that he was alone because I thought the SGB members would be part of the interviewers. I sat down and did my interview. He was professional and all then I went home after he told me they would call after he has made a decision. ” I take a deep breath. He is brushing my back up and down.

“ I got a call from one of the clerks telling me that one have to come for a second interview because there was something not adding up on my CV. I was surprised cause I did write that I have no work experience and I didn’t lie about it. The interview was that day at 3pm. I left the kids alone and told them to lock up and not open for anyone until I come back. When I got there, there was only the clerk. She told me to go to the office and I did. When I got there again he was alone. I didn’t think it was weird or anything cause the last I was here he was alone.

I sat down and he asked the same questions he asked before and I gave him the same answers. He then tells that I qualify in all ways but I know how these things work. I was confused as to what he was talking about. He tells me that I have to bribe him to give me the job. I was shocked but because I was desperate I asked how much the bribe is and he told me it’s R2500 and I didn’t have that money and there was no were I was going to get it. I asked me to give me five minutes to call my sister and he agreed. I called mapaseka, my brother and my parents and they all refused. They said they had no money for me. I was devastated sicelo. I really needed that job because it was going to make my kid’s life a little better. I told the principal that I’m struggling to get hold of the money but I will go to a loan shark and borrow from there then come back and he refused. He told me there was another way to pay. ” I have never told anyone what happened. What I did.

“ you don’t have to continue baby if it is hard. ” he says. I shake my head no. “ I have never told anyone this sicelo but because I trust you, I want you to know what I did. ” he pecks my cheek and nods. “ I asked him what is the other way for me to pay and he said I could… he wants me to give him a blow job. I looked at him shocked as he unbuckled his pants and he took it out. I was so scared sicelo. I thought he was going to rape me. I stood there shocked and watched him disgusted as he got himself hard. He asked me to make a decision or get the hell out of there. I really wanted to leave but I thought about my kids and one lousy blow job.” His chest is wet because of my tears. “ I told him that I will do it once and he must promise me that he will not rape me. He agreed and pushed me to my knees and…. I did it. ” he curses softly and holds me tighter. “ I didn’t want to do it but I thought of kids sicelo. I only did it for them. I hated every moment and I hated myself more as he kept doing it. When he was done I got up and ran out. I couldn’t cry as I walked all the way home and I thought everyone who looked at me knew what I did.

When I got to my room, I made the kids food and they asked to go play outside and I agreed. All these thoughts started playing on my mind that what if he is going to change his mind and not offer me the job and I had already done something like this. I was disgusted with myself and I cried. I brushed my teeth until my gums were bleeding because Icould still feel him in my mouth. I got the job and my family accused me of sleeping with him for the job since I couldn’t get hold of the money. My mom once called me a slut and a prostitute and I told her that I would do anything for my kids even if it means I must sell my body to provide for them then I would cause no one will help me. I wanted to tell you this cause I know my family will tell you lies about how I got the job. I was ashamed of myself sicelo but I was happy that I got the job and the principal never asked another thing from me. I hate what I did but what I know is I would do anything for my kids not to struggle and I would do it again for them. ” I choke up.

He takes a deep breath in and breathes out deeply. “ I don’t judge you lesego and I don’t blame you for what you did. If you had your family’s support and thuto's supporting the kids, you wouldn’t have done what you did. Your back was against the wall and you did like any other mother would do and that is to put food on the table for her kids. You did not do this for enjoyment but for seeking security for our kids. You getting that job meant our kids won’t have to go to bed with an empty stomach. It really hurts me to hear what you had to do while the people who were suppose to be there for you didn’t help you in anyway. ” he sighs.

“ I love you and I am proud to call you the mother of my kids. The world has been against you for far too long but now leave everything to me and let me take care of you and our kids. You will never again struggle in your life for as long as I live and even after. You will always be taken care of. I’m proud of you baby. You have come out victorious each and every time when life wasbhard and it wanted you to fail. Our kids have one amazing woman and I love you more now than I did thirty minutes ago ” I giggle. “ thank you for trusting me and telling me all of this because I know it was hard to share that with me. Your secrets are safe with me. I won’t ever use what you have told me against you in anyway I promise you that. ” he pecks my cheek and holds me.

“ thank you mapholoba. ” we hold each other and just sit silently. “ let’s go to bed. We have kids that must wake up and go to school. ” he says.

“ I have to go to work tomorrow too. ” I remind him. “ you are no longer going to work there. You will tell him tomorrow when we drop off the kids. ” he says and that’s final.

“ sicelo? ” I look at him.

“ not open for negotiation or discussion. Let’s go to bed. I’m tired. ” he says and picks us up. “ we can’t sleep with the kids naked baby ” I giggle.  “ fuck me!. Wear your pyjamas and I’ll look for my shorts and T-shirt. ” he puts me down. I turn and he spanks my ass and I laugh.

“ I love you and your sexy ass!. ” he says

“ I love you but I think I love your dick more. ” I tell him laughing, he laughs too. He bought something to wear from Woolworths and we wear our pyjamas. We go to bed and watch our kids sleeping peaceful. I gently pick up kagiso and put him on the other side.

“ what are you doing? ” he whispers. “ I want to fall asleep in your arms.” He nods. I get in bed and he gets in after me. His front to my back, kamo then kagiso.

“ I love you lesego. ”

“ I love you sicelo. Good night. ”

“ good night baby. ” I sigh and sleep cause I feel like a huge loud has been lifted off my shoulders. I sleep with a smile on my face.