HORNS (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 106

Chapter One Hundred and Six

I slept.

The only times I woke were when I needed to use the bathroom or when Echo roused me, needing blood. I usually gave him my neck without care, because I didn't anymore... I never even opened my eyes during the times he nudged me awake, trying speak to me or, as he had been doing lately, asking me what was wrong and why I was behaving so strangely.

Asking me how he could help.

Pleading to let him, really. 

I never answered, I just lay beside him and slept, because it was the only way out. I didn't even dream anymore. It was like all my dreams had been sucked into the monstrous space that had opened up and spread to every corner of my body and soul, pulling every desire, every feeling, every dream, every bit of goodness and crushing it under its boot. I saw black when I slept.

No color. No light. No sound.

I wasn't aware of time, either, I never bothered looking at the clock on the nightstand anymore, but it felt like an eternity was passing. I felt like I was growing older and years were flying by in the form of seconds. Hence why I felt oddly dazed when Raphael finally burst into the room.

"Rise and shine, Sleepyhead," he greeted, muffled to my ears. "Enough sulking! You haven't eaten anything in three full days, so come on, get up."

I felt nothing on the inside at the command. Not annoyance, not grumpiness at being disturbed... not even a flame of instinctive anger, which being ordered around normally sparked... instincts as an alpha and all that.

In fact, I moved before I realized I was doing so, as if that was natural instinct, silently and obediently pushing the blanket down over my head so I could sit up. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and I rose, standing upright, staring at the floor through sightless eyes.

I felt heavy. My arms hung limp at my sides, and I couldn't raise my head higher. 

I absently tried to, but got nothing.

There was a momentary silence from Raph, but I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling, nor did I really care. Everything was still oddly grey, literally lacking vibrancy and color in my vision. I wondered for a moment if something was seriously wrong with my eyes.

Am I going blind? I wondered, staring at the dull carpet. My vision isn't normal right now. 

Odd that I didn't feel too concerned.

"Well...?" Raph slowly asked, making my ears twitch at the sound. "Come on. Let's go eat. It's your favorite food, burgers, potato wedges, and root beer floats."

My legs moved and I slinked across the carpet--like a machine. There was no conscious thought to it on my part. I actually had to pause and wonder why my body kept reacting before my mind could catch up, but I didn't dwell on it too much. I just wanted to get this over with so I could go back to sleep. That would be for the best... sleep.

I saw a plate piled high with food at my glass dining table, but it didn't stir anything inside me, not hunger or anything else. I sat down in front of it and looked at my hands, watching through flickering, dull vision as they picked up a burger and brought it to my mouth.

It tasted good, but not the way it used to.

Like everything else, it was grey. Muted. Dull.

I ate robotically, without energy, leaning my elbows on the table while I bit and chewed, slowly, over and over again until there was nothing left to bite. Raphael moved past me into the kitchen, but I didn't look at him... I only noticed because I saw the movement in my peripherals.