HORNS (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 104

Chapter One Hundred and Four

I was lost in a fog, or maybe just lost in the woods.

Perhaps both.

I didn't know or care since my focus was elsewhere entirely. In my head, all I could see was my dad... I felt, deep down, like I'd failed him. I felt like I'd walked away from any and all chance I could have had to make myself clean, to wipe away what had been done to our family so we could really, truly, start over.

Every step I took in the dark widened the chasm inside me.

It was like a black hole had opened up in my heart, crushing itself and everything around it under the pressure that had created it. I couldn't see where I was going, I was crying too hard to do that, but for whatever reason I couldn't get in enough air to make so much as a sound.

All I could smell was his blood.

I hated it, so fucking much... I hated everything. I hated how good hurting him had made me feel, hated the fact that he'd been the one to do it, and most of all, I hated that I'd walked away for not only my sake, but my father's and my half brother's. I'm not sure how long I wandered, but eventually, my legs gave out and I fell against a tree and slid down to the ground, cradled between two roots the size of telephone poles. I shook in silence, tired and defeated.

Hot tears dripped from my nose and down across my cheeks, trickling off my jaw as my nose clogged. I curled up into a ball and hugged my legs close, setting my cheek on my jeans, just trying to focus on breathing even though nothing was steady... not even my lungs.

It hurt.

It fucking hurt.

Worse than being stabbed, than being shot, the sensation on the inside was crushing, and it was so fucking heavy that I wouldn't have been surprised at all if it killed me. That's how bad it was. I couldn't even cry right, sound wouldn't escape my lips and I couldn't get enough air in.

I swallowed, trying to take a breath, but my nose was stuffed. Maybe I'd needed it. Maybe the stress had gotten to me. Maybe the shock of everything that had started happening all at once had finally worn off and I was feeling the full aftereffects. Whatever the reason, the result was that I burst into tears.

I wasn't loud, of course, I purposely made sure to muffle it... but it felt good to cry, alone there in the dark, far away from the world that had been so chaotic and frightening. For a few minutes, I could show weakness... I could cry, and not have anyone judge me for it. But even though it felt good, the waves of emotion didn't lighten up even after the initial shockwave had passed.

I was so out of it that I barely even flinched when a hand touched my head.

"Hey," a familiar voice whispered, and I looked up to see Renee standing there, holding my boyfriend, who was sitting perched on her left arm and using her shoulder as a crutch.

The woman sank down to her knees and scooted in, strategically maneuvering Echo towards me. My mouth quivered and my ears flopped limp when my vampire beau held out his arms to me. I raised my own arms and unfurled my legs a bit, gently taking him from her and holding him against my chest, burying my face in his hair and inhaling the sweet milky cinnamon scent of him.

Renee rubbed my my arm, offering silent support, then tentatively scooted closer and wrapped both of us up in her frail arms. It was the warmth that did it. I didn't know how long I sat there, collapsed against my boyfriend and his doctor in a shuddering heap. All I knew was that when I was finally done, and the tears stopped coming, I didn't feel any better.