Conflicted

➸twenty-eight

“You should try it on.” He suggested.

I felt like my cheeks were redder than a tomato. “I can’t.” I mumbled, burying my face in my hands. “You’ll look just as beautiful as always.” He said, moving my hands, and giving the bag to me. “I love you.” He smiled, pressing his lips gently against mine.

I took the bag and walked into the bathroom, taking a deep breath. I pulled the lingerie from the bag and set it on the counter. I quickly changed out of my clothes and put it on, not even looking in the mirror because I knew I’d feel insecure and take it off.

I closed my eyes, inhaled, and opened the door, hesitantly stepping out. Zayn dropped the glass in his hand and spit out his water, coughing loudly. I ran back into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it and taking a look at myself in the mirror.

Did I look that bad? There was a knock at the door, and I hopped on the counter, leaning my head against the mirror. I just embarrassed myself in front of Zayn, yet again. “If you don’t open the door, I’m going in Waliyha’s room.”

I jumped off the counter and unlocked the door, yanking it open. His eyes raked up and down my body, and he took his bottom lip between his teeth. I went to slam the door but he’s much stronger than I am so he caught it, taking a step inside.

“I look ridiculous.” I pouted, facing away from him. “No you don’t, you look beautiful.” He whispered in my ear. I stumbled back into him and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing his body against mine. “The things I would do to you.” He mumbled, playing with the lace material. My heart began to beat faster and faster. “Then do it.” I mumbled.

“You don’t mean it. But oh well there’s a party to get ready for anyway.” He sighed, walking away and leaving me alone to melt into a popsicle. He’s been doing that a lot lately, mentioning sex and then leaving. Lia must have talked to him about it. The only reason I’ve been so hesitant about actually doing it is because I’m afraid he’ll move on afterwards.

I changed back into my clothes, and left the Victoria’s Secret bag on the counter. “When are you going to start getting ready for the party?” I asked him, taking a seat on the bed. “You mean when are we going to start getting ready?” He chuckled. “No I meant what I said. I’m not going.”

“Not this again please.”

“I’m not going. I refuse to go anywhere near your mother again after that day.”

“That was months ago, people can change.” He said, walking into the closet.

“You’re right, people can change, but Cruella De Vil didn’t.” I snapped.

“She is my mother, do you have to say those things?” He sighed.

I got up and left the room, closing the door behind me. I’m not going to argue with him over this. I’m not going anywhere near his mother if I have a say in it. I walked outside and took a walk, just getting some fresh air. It’s so nice back here, even though it is fairly cold.

When I came back, Zayn was in the shower so I went and ordered myself some food. I walked back into the room and the bathroom door opened, and he was coming out.

“I’m leaving now, I don’t know when I’ll be back so don’t wait up for me.” Zayn said, flipping the light switch off in the bathroom. “Have fun.” I mumbled, fixing his tie. “I won’t, because I’ll be worrying about you the whole time.” He grimaced.

“I’ll see you when you get back, bye.” I rolled my eyes. He kissed me quickly and left the room, leaving me all alone for who knows how long. I’m not even upset because that gives me time to wrap his presents and stuff.