Conflicted

➸thirty-four

unedited

—-

It's been two months. Two long, agonizing months that felt like years. We're just now receiving good news—the treatments worked and Lia was officially cancer free. I nearly passed out when I saw the text from Zayn saying she was now able to go home.

I happily finished cleaning up the apartment she and my brother shared, and ran to the bakery around the corner, wanting to get a celebratory cake for Lia. I paid the woman behind the counter and stood off to the side while she decorated the cake using the template I had given her.

Once she finished I thanked her and carefully made my way back to the apartment, putting the cake on full display. I heard the door opening and I froze, thinking of a good place to hide. It was too late so I stood still, holding my hands behind my back.

In walked Lia, her mother, and Zayn. "Surprise!" I yelled, running over to hug her. "Sky she's still a little weak." Zayn mumbled, nibbling on his bottom lip. She hugged me back and gave me a small smile before stepping around me and going towards the cake. I hugged her mother as well and she followed Lia into the kitchen.

I made eye contact with Zayn and he sighed before smiling and taking a step towards me. "Hi baby, did you sleep well?" He asked, embracing me. I nodded and inhaled his scent, a sad smile forming on my face.

"I woke up and you were gone." I whined, wrapping my arms around his torso. "I know, I had an early meeting." He frowned apologetically, pressing his lips against mine tentatively, while I pouted and didn't kiss back. I sighed as he pulled away, standing on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. "You guys are so gross." Lia groaned, throwing a pillow at us.

Normally I would have thrown one back, but I didn't want to hurt her. She's so frail now. Cancer has impacted her in many ways. She lost a ton of weight, her skin was pale–almost to the point where she looked like she was dying. I examined her closely, noticing that her hair was starting to grow back. But to me, she was even more beautiful than before. I prayed to God every single night, begging for Lia to get better.

I picked the pillow up off of the floor and walked towards the sofa, taking a seat next to her. Zayn sat in the chair across from us, staring intently at his phone, as usual.

"So how are you feeling?" I asked morosely. "Great, I can't wait to get back to work, and for my normal routine to fall back into place." She grinned. "Absolutely not. You're not ready yet." Zayn countered, scrunching his eyebrows together. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, honestly, but I'm fine. I've been fine for a while now." She argued.

I took that as my cue to go, and walked outside to find Erin sitting there, hugging her knees to her chest. Taking a seat next to her, I placed a hand on her shoulder, getting her attention. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm so thankful for what Zayn has done for her. Do you know what it's like knowing that I can't even afford all of this treatment—to think that there's a possibility that my daughter could have died, fighting for her life through a deadly disease, while I sat there—watching in agony—because that's simply all I could have done." She said, her bottom lip trembling while tears cascaded down her cheeks and me, not knowing what to say, all I did was hug her.