Conflicted

➸nineteen

Copyright © 2014 Ari W.

We made it through the movie and the entire time, my thoughts were on Zayn. I hate him for making me feel this way.

I parked my car and took a deep breath. “Sky, you coming?” Nick asked.

“Yeah just a second, I need to check my registration.” I lied.

The door closed softly and I hesitated before clicking the dial button. “Skylar.” He breathed into the phone. My heart skipped a beat and I ended the call, rushing to get inside. I thought I could talk to him but I can’t.

I walked into my room and closed the door, flipping on the light switch. His scent instantly filled my nostrils and I took a step back, hitting the door. “Why are you here?” I gasped, holding onto the doorknob.

“The way we ended things earlier isn’t okay with me.” He said.

“It’s fine with me. I have come to the realization that you’re ashamed to be with me.”

“It’s not that. I’m surprised that you think so lowly of me.” He frowned.

“You’re a coward! You’re so far up your mother’s ass I’m surprised you haven’t found gold!” I yelled.

He stayed quiet so I took a deep breath before continuing, “You lie to everyone, telling them I’m your friend. If you are ashamed to be with me, leave me alone!” I said, rolling my eyes.

“You don’t know anything.”

“Then by all means, please explain.” I replied irritably.

“I’m not good for you. I can’t give you what you want. I’ve never been in a relationship.”

“I don’t want anything! I just want you!” I said, raising my voice.

“I can’t make you happy. Sky, I make you cry. I don’t want to be the reason for your tears. I want to be the reason you smile.” He explained.

“Then stop doing things to hurt me. If you want to be with me, then be with me and mean it. I’m tired of being your friend when we are obviously more. You do make me happy Zayn, when you aren’t trying to boss me around.”

He stayed silent and it only frustrated me more. “I hate what you’re doing to me.” I muttered.

“And what might that be?” He rolled his eyes.

“You’re making me fall for you, and then when I think you feel the same, you shut me out and it’s not fair.” I admitted. I wanted to take the words back the minute I said them, but it was too late.

His jaw clenched and he closed his eyes. “We’ve been together for a little over three weeks, if that. You can’t possibly be falling for me.” He scoffed.

“You know what, I don’t care anymore. Leave.” I mumbled, feeling the lump in my throat.

Grow up Skylar. Do not cry.

“You can’t love me.” He whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, processing what I just told him.

“Skylar.” He mumbled, his gaze burning right through me.

Before I could speak, his mouth was on mine, kissing me roughly. I kissed him back, fisting his hair. He had his body pressed against mine, trapping me against the wall. “Jump” He mumbled against my lips.

I did as he said and he caught me, wrapping my legs around his torso. His lips traveled down my jawline and began their viscous attack on my neck. I used this time to catch my breath, and before I could even think, his mouth was on mine again.