UMSHADO

CHAPTER 12

I flush the toilet and get up and brush my teeth and mbuso is still there not saying anything. I leave the bathroom and I see the doctor's disapproving look on his face as I sit on the bed

Doctor:" Mrs Gumede I told you to rest and no stress. when did you last did you eat? "

Me:" I woke up late and I was cooking, I was going to have something to eat but then..."

Dad:" I'll go and make you something to eat. sicelo come "

Me:" baba i'll make it " he looks at me and smiles

Dad:" you called me dad "

Me:" and for the first time in my life it feels right? " i say smiling. he comes and gives me hug then kisses both my cheeks and sicelo kisses my forehead and they leave me with mbuso and the doctor.

Mbuso:" I'm worried about you, you keep fainting luh, I know you said it's the stress doc but what's really going on? "

Me:" I'm pregnant mbuso. I'm having your baby, we are going to be parents " he looks at me shocked then looks at the doctor

Mbuso:" Is the stress affecting the baby...my baby? "

Doctor:" If she keeps getting stressed, not eat properly and doesn't rest she will lose the baby "

Mbuso:" what can I do to make sure that doesn't happen? " is he excited that we're having this baby?.

Doctor:" don't stress her. She needs to gain weight and rest. Did you get and take the medicine I prescribed for you ? "

Me:" I forgot to get them doctor " he writes something down

Doctor:" here is the prescription and the gynae's number and remember you have options mrs gumede. Goodluck and call me if you need anything else "

Mbuso:" thank you doc " he shakes his hand and the doctor leaves.

Me:" I'm sorry, I never lied when I said i'm on birth control. I just don't know what happend, I mean.."

Mbuso:" stop luh. I treated you like trash and I used you for my own selfish needs because I'm like that. I use woman and then discared them like nothing. I knew you were innocent from the begging yet still I accused you because at first I enjoyed watching you looking scared of me and it gave me a kick....that's how twistee I am. I treated you bad because you were slowly getting under my skin and making me feel things I have never felt and It scares me to death "

Me:" you're not twisted mbuso. you just dont know how to love "
Him:" love luh, my parents have been together for 45 years and married for 20. I've seen how my father treated my mother and he worships the ground she walks on, he loves her and she loves him. I don't know if I can do that and be that person to...you"

Me:" you are your own person and not like your dad mbuso. If you won't open your heart how will you know that you can or cannot be that person. What are you scared of mbuso? "

Him:" I'm scared of you. I'm scared that i'll give you my heart and then one day you'll wake up and realise that you deserve someone who's better than me. Someone who's never lied, manipulated, kept secrets and hit you. You'll realise that I'm not worthy of you and it terrifies me. I'm scared that you'll hurt me and so I hurt you first "

Me:" you did all those things because you wanted to push me away and not get close to you, so when I find out the truth it will be easier for me to walk away from you? "

Him:" I didn't want to treat you good, make you fall inlove with me while I'm keeping so many things fom you but I couldn't stay away from you. I tried to just fuck you and not care but everytime I did I cared deeply and it hurt me to know that I hurt you by just fucking you and leaving you and not giving you my time " am I falling for him, have i fallen for him?.

Me:" It did hurt me....alot. Sometimes I would wish that you would just hold me all through the the night, let me sleep in your arms and wake up next to you and kiss you good morning but it never happend ". I sigh sadly

Him:" I would come back after you have slept and I would watch you sleeping everyday. I'll take pictures of you and look at them when I'm at work. I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you deserve ".

Me:" and now we are going to be having a baby "

Him:" I know and whatever you decide I'll suport you "

Me:" what do you mean mbuso, whatever decision I take you'll support me?, don't you want this baby? "

Him:" After everything I put you through I'll understand if you don't want to keep the baby. You were already pregnant when I hit you luh God what is wrong with me? "

Me:" I am keeping this baby and we're having it. You were wrong to put your hands on me and you better not or else my dad is going to kill you "

Him:" but still I shouldn't have done it "

Me:" you didn't know I was pregnant and that doesn't mean it was okay to hit me "

Him:" I promise I'll never do it again "

Me:" So you're not mad that I'm pregnant? "

Him:" not mad but scared. "

Me:" I'm scared too. So what now?, what happens between us "

Him:" I think we should stop whatever that was happening and focus on the baby and me paying the damages "

Me:" I think so too. How are you going to explain everything to your family? "

Him:" I'm sick of the lies so I'm going to tell them the truth "

Me:" yeah do that. Why did you send thami money and get him his own apartment? "

Him:" I did that because he's a good kid who's bright and loves you and I knew that you would appreciate it and I did with sims and her kids because you love them. I would hear it everytime you spoke with them over the phone "

Me:" thank you "

Him:" no thank you luh for making me want to be a better person. I'm gonna be there for you and the baby "

Me:" so this is goodbye? "

Him:" no its not. I want you to go stay and reconnect with your family because you never had that and now that you do you must be around them and enjoy it. Be happy and not cry but when you cry it should be tears of joy "

Me:" yeah " he lays down and looks at me

Him:" I know it's not my place but please listen to me. forgive your uncle, he made mistakes but tried the best he knew how to fix them and it wasn't his idea in the first place but his brother and his wife. Forgive him..us for your peace of mind and because you're not the type to hold grudges ".

Me:" I know and i'll try ".

Him:" don't change for anyone luh because you are one in a million and I'm glad I got a chance to know you even though I blew it up but I'm happy that I have a part of me that will aways connect me to you. Can I feel your stomach? " I nod

Me:" thank you for saying that and I'm happy that we are going to have a baby together "

Him:" but I feel nothing in your stomach "

Me:" it's just a fetus and not yet a baby " I say giggling

Him:" I love it when you laugh, your whole face transforms and your smile reaches your eyes "

Me:" stop making me blush " I smile

Him:" so what about a quickie before you guys leave "

Me:" oh no mister. Take me to kitchen and feed me, your baby and I are hungry " ke kisses my stomach then kisses me and we get up.

Him:" I'm gonna miss you and you know you're always welcome here at any time Mrs gumede" I laugh

Me:" I'm gonna miss you too Mr gumede " we both laugh and hug tight and I look at this bedroom one last time and we leave.