First Love, Last Love

Heartbreak

Freya

It had been 5 days since Becca was born, and I was absolutely shattered.

Corey been useless towards Becca but fantastic towards me, I hated that he hadn't got a bond with her but I didn't have the strength to argue with him.

Every day had been hard, which I thought I was strange because I had such an easy birth.
I was feeling worse then ever today.

I couldn't keep any food down and I had lost a stone since having Becca!
I couldn't breast feed because it hurt so much and Becca wouldn't latch.

I thought I would enjoy being a mom watching her grown, but I'm not enjoying it at all, all I want to do is sleep.

I heard Becca crying and Corey wouldn't bring her to me, so Sofia came in and helped me with her.
She did some housework and bathed Becca for me.

I feel like the worst mom In the world as I fell asleep again on the sofa.

When I woke up I felt blood all down my legs, I was bleeding again, heavier than usual.

I asked Sofia to help me shower, i felt so weak I couldn't do it alone.
I didn't want to show Corey I was weak, he had argued with Sofia and went to his mother for the night.
I couldn't stand to look at him, I knew it was hard for him to be a dad but it's not like she's not his!

She's his flesh and blood and since she was born he had hardly been able to even look at her.
I begged Sofia that if anything was to happen to me she wouldn't let Corey have Becca.

She of course called me stupid saying I was going to live a long life, but do you ever feel like something wrong you don't feel yourself?
I felt like I was in the wrong body.

"Freya you've lost so much weight? Is that normal after birth?" Sofia asked when I was getting dressed.

"I'm not sure, but I'm bleeding so heavy it's just pumping out of Me." I said with a frown.

Sofia looked worried. "I'm calling a doctor."

"I just want to sleep, I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow Sofia don't worry." I smiled at her. Drama queen she is.

"I just want to make sure please." Sofia looked worried.

"Becca is due to be weighing so I'll get looked at then." I sighed.

Sofia nodded. "I'm coming with you."

She packed me a bag with clean clothes because I keep bleeding through everything and a change of clothes for Becca and a bottle.
She helped me out towards the car slowly I felt like my insides were being ripped out.

When we got to the hospital I didn't really feel to well.
Before I knew it I was woken up in a hospital bed with wires all around me.

"Hello Freya, you collapsed" Ria said to me. She was my doctor.

"Oh hi Ria where is Becca?" I asked worried.

"She's fine she's with Jaxon he came and  got her, he's just walking her around the hospital she's weighs a healthy 6lb 9ozs! She's perfect the nurse said." Sofia smiled at me.