First Love, Last Love

Parents

Lucy

Becca had been living with us for 2 days now, when she first came to us she would cry and cry and we couldn't do anything to settle her.. that had stopped.

After a day she began to settle as soon as I picked her up, Smit would hum to her and that would send her straight off to sleep.
I was happy that our baby girl wasn't upset as much anymore but on the other hand I was sad.

I was so sad that after just a few days Becca had forgotten Freya, I mean it's just what happens, babies are so adaptable.
But Freya was her mom, Freya loved her more than anything else in the world; and Becca would never remember her moms face, hers moms smile, her moms voice.. I started to cry at the thought.

It was an emotional rollercoaster.
Smit and I had wanted to adopt, but we got into the idea of giving a home to a baby that wouldn't have been loved if it had stayed with its birth parents, Becca would have been loved so much by Freya But that chance had been taken away from her, I knew I couldn't dwell on it, Freya was not coming back and I had to give Becca the best life possible, For Freya's sake if nothing else.

I was enjoying be able to buy little pink outfits and decorate her bedroom, Corey had signed his rights away so we could officially adopt Becca, that way we didn't have to worry about him turning up and trying to get her back in years to come.

I thought it was the grief talking and he would want her back but Sofia told me that he had told her before Becca was even born that he didn't want to be a dad.

I was home alone folding the washing and putting it away; it was amazing how much washing a newborn managed to get thru.

Smit

I took Becca out of the car and put her in her pram, she was so tiny and precious.. I couldn't believe I had been trusted to look after this little human.

I wasn't exactly alone, Jaxon was with me, Lucy had huge trust issues since I tried to hang myself but I was in a much better place now.
I had my little girl and my beautiful wife. That was all I needed.

"Do you think she will get cold?" I asked Jaxon as I tucked her blanket around her

"Do YOU think she will get cold? She's your daughter.." Jaxon smiled.

Wow.. I had a daughter. It was crazy.

"I think she will be okay." I looked at him for approval.

Jaxon nodded "first rule of parenting, always trust your gut."

"I will do, thank you."

"No worries. Now let's get this gift." Jaxon grinned.

I had gone out to get Lucy a gift that she had always wanted, a mommy necklace, since we got together, almost 15 years ago, she had always wanted to be a mom.

I was 27 when we met, Lucy was 19 and still at university.
We agreed that when she had finished her qualifications and been at work for 3 years we would start trying for a baby.

She left university when she had just turned 21, she got her job as a therapist instantly. So by the time she was 25, we were married and we had the money and the means to start trying for a family.

3 years we had tried and nothing happened, Lucy went to the doctors and they did checks and told her everything was okay with her. So I went.

We found out I was shooting blanks, it was the worst thing imaginable for both of us. I loved this woman more than anything and I wanted a baby with her but it didn't look like that was going to happen.