First Love, Last Love

Adoption

Lucy

After Smit tried to take his own life it was hard to leave his side, he had always been so strong, I had no idea he was feeling that low.. I'm his wife I should have noticed.

I wasn't sure what he had talked to Sofia about but I knew it had made him feel tons better, he was singing in the mornings again, but that didn't mean I was ready to leave him home alone.

It only took one down moment for him to try and kill himself again, I couldn't believe I was meant to be a therapist and I couldn't even tell when my own husband needed me.. I was too wrapped up in myself but from now on I would put Smit first.

He does come across as a big hard man that doesn't need anyone but that's not the real Smit, that's all an act. He needs me to be there to hold him up when he feels like he is going to fall.

I text Jaxon

Lucy; going to visit Freya and the baby, any chance you could sit with Smit? 

Jaxon; it's usually me after a baby sitter

Lucy; not funny Jaxon

Jaxon; sorry, I'll be over soon.

I got ready to go see Freya then got my coat and kissed Smit "I'm heading out baby"

"Oh wow I'm unsupervised" he smirked at me.

"Nope. Jaxon's sitting with you." I smiled.

Smit sighed. "well shit, I used to babysit him."

"He misses you, it will be fun." I tried to cheer him up.

Smit laughed "Oh yeah, like a hole in the head. I'm fine."

"It's for my own peace of mind" I rolled my eyes at him playfully.

Smit scrunched up his nose. "we're going to adopt a child, am I going to need a babysitter when I look after her?"

"Her?" I couldn't hide my smile.

"Well boys are assholes. I want a girl." He smirked.

"Uhm have you met Ezmaya?" We both laughed.

Jaxon walked in and heard the end of the conversation. "Nothing wrong with my daughter, Today she hit me in the face with my own phone and then she cried at me because I was bleeding."

Smit looked at me "okay let's have a boy"
All three of us laughed.

I went to mothercare on my way to see Freya, I couldn't resist buying something for little Becca, such a beautiful name..

I got her a little denim bambi dress with a white tip under and pink tights with a pretty pink headband, I got her a bambi blanket too, I couldn't wait to start baby shopping for myself.

When I got to the hospital I sanitised my hands and headed to the maternity ward.

I already knew Freya would be alone, Sofia had told me she wanted to talk to me alone and Corey had headed home for a shower.

She was sat in her bed holding Becca and on my gosh she was tiny.
Freya looked amazing as a mom.
It really suited her, you could see the love in her eyes for her child.

It was a feeling like no other, one that I wouldn't be able to experience myself.. I know Smit and I were going to adopt but would I get that rush of love the moment I met the baby?