Love You With The Lights On (Lesbian teacherxstudent Story)

fifty eight

⚠️⚠️Trigger Warning: Talk of death, dying, and grief⚠️⚠️

May 2, 2019

Mom was getting sicker each and every day. I tried to stay strong in front of her, reserving my tears for the shower or driving, but I knew she could tell I wasn't having a good time.

"Baby, would you— would you paint my nails?" She asked.

"Of course." I smiled.

I went to the bathroom and grabbed a few options for her choose from.

"You are so beautiful, you know that?" She sounded weakly.

"Thank you, mama." I smiled at her.

"I mean it, inside and out, you are absolutely perfect." She told me as she picked a nail polish color from my hand.

She was weaker today.

"You're perfect." I smiled as I took her hand in mine to start painting her nails.

"Don't let them make you feel bad for getting the necklace." She struggled to speak all in one breath.

I nodded, unsure as to why we were here again. I know that I had to defend her decision to give me her necklace.

"I cannot tell you— how much I— I love you." She breathed.

"I love you too." I told her, laying her hand on her stomach, then grabbing her other hand.

"Promise me, you'll be okay." She whispered.

"Mom, don't— no, you're going to be okay. It's just a bad day." I told her, continuing to paint.

"Promise me, you'll go to school and study and do great things." She spoke louder.

"Stop." I demanded.

"Promise me, you'll take care of yourself." Her voice continued to get louder.

"I promise." I said with tears in my eyes.

I needed her to stop talking like this, it hurt my heart.

"Come here." She weakly waved me to her. "Come cuddle."

I set her second hand on her, closed the nail polish bottle, and climbed on to the bed.

"I love you." She whispered as she kissed my head, grabbing my arm tightly.

"I love you." I cried.

"I'm sorry, my heart." She was barely audible.

Too emotional to speak, I nodded against her shoulder. I cuddled further into her. I don't want this to be true. She can't be dying. She's not. She's going to be okay.

Her hand loosened around my arm. No. No no no no no. I couldn't hold back the sobs that came out of my body. No, please. God, please don't take her.

"Mama?" I sounded.

Nothing.

"Mama, please." I cried harder.

Nothing.

I held her tighter, refusing to look at her.

I went numb. I knew my mom was gone. She was completely limp, I couldn't hear her heartbeat, and I couldn't feel her breathing.

I couldn't move. I was trapped. There were no thoughts in my head. There was not a single movement from my body. I was frozen.

I heard the front door open and shut. It was probably Andrea or Bradley.