Love You With The Lights On (Lesbian teacherxstudent Story)

fifty four

"You're still sure?" I proposed a question to Alaina.
"I'm sure." She nodded, staring at her blank stare in the mirror.
"You look beautiful." I squeezed her shoulders.
Her hand covered mine, letting me know she heard me.
I kissed the side of her head and rubbed her arms, before checking my purse once more. I had all of the necessities, including tissues, various medications, and lady products. In a room full of young women, it couldn't hurt to be prepared.
I was worried for Alaina everyday, but today especially. Today is competition day, her first without Dakota.
She had barely made it through practice yesterday without breaking, I have no idea how today will go, but I trust her to make the calls. She says she can handle it, so I will support her.
She grabbed her costume bag, which I took from her,  and her dance bag.
"Ready?" I asked.
"As I'll ever be." She forced a smile.
I pulled her to me and carefully pecked her red lips.
"I love you." She smiled genuinely.
"I love you." I ran my hand over her perfectly double dutch-braided hair and over her ponytail.
She seemed to be trying to rise above her feelings by playing upbeat music, which she sang off-tune and danced to.
I handed her the bag that held her costumes and watched her walk in without me. I waited for Victoria before I walked in.
"How do you think she is?" Victoria asked as a woman wrapped a purple director's wristband on her.
"Honestly, I'm worried, but I'm trusting her judgement." I confessed.
"Oh— let's hope for the best." She grimaced as the woman moved from her to me to assemble the wristband.
I nodded.
Following a pep talk, the girls performed their team pom routine, followed by the collection of officer routines, which resulted in tears from everyone after their contemporary routine. They were doing beautifully, hitting every routine with utter precision.
I had to resist finding her through the crowd of girls to remain professional and hidden. I wanted her to need me, but I understand that her needing me meant that she wasn't doing good. To see her smiling and laughing with her friends gave me peace of mind. Her being separate from me meant she was okay for the time being, that allowed my heart to breathe.
We walked as a team over to the smaller gym to watch the ninth through eleventh graders perform their solos. Dressed and covered with team jackets, the seniors led the team down the hall with the performing soloists to the gym. Alaina trailed behind everyone and found me.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Trying." She nodded as she grabbed my hand.
I squeezed her hand and walked with her.
She sat with Victoria and I as we watched and cheered for her teammates. She stayed near us to walk to the gym where she would perform. Normally seniors perform their solos in an auditorium, but this school's auditorium is under construction, so we were back in the main gym.
Our girls were about to start, which meant we had to leave Alaina soon to give them all equal attention.
I kissed her temple, smoothing her ponytail.
"Love you. You're going to do great." I whispered.
"I can do this, right? I can do her dance, right?" She searched my eyes.
"You can do this. All of it." I was sure of it.
"All my babies, you're going to be amazing." Victoria opened her arms wide to motion for a hug from the girls, which they gladly accepted and piled into her very pregnant body.
I smiled at the sight.
Then, they transferred to hug me, which caused my heart to swell. I finally felt a return of the love I held for them.
Alaina lingered a little longer, but I didn't mind. Affection from her never lasted long enough to fill my need for her.
The time came for Reagan to take the floor for her first solo, so I had to part from Alaina in order to join Victoria in watching them.
On the way up the bleachers to the directors' only seating, I noticed Alaina's mom, Lindsey, in the audience.
"Lindsey!" I waved her over to follow us into the reserved section, which she gladly did.
"Hello, beautiful." She smiled at me. She has Alaina's smile. They're so similar, it's frightening.
"Hello." I matched her smile.
"And mama-to-be." Lindsey shined, teaching for Victoria's hands.
They announced Reagan and we cheered loudly for our first senior performer, who was absolutely captivating. She is such a beautiful dancer, you can see the passion in her eyes.
Then, it was time for Alaina's first solo, 'Because You Loved Me'. The solo she dedicated to her mom. I smiled at Lindsey as her daughter took the floor.
I laid my hand over Lindsey's as Alaina began to move. Words couldn't describe how perfect she was. You could feel her emotions through every last inch of her movements. Our girls who weren't currently performing were screaming and cheering her on along with us.
When she laid eyes on her mom, her tears started immediately, as she continued to dance. When the song ended, Alaina ran up the bleachers to practically tackle her mom, bringing tears to my eyes as I watched the two interact.
She dried her tears up long enough to go to the bathroom near the gym to change into the outfit she chose to represent Dakota as she took on Dakota's solo. I wish I could go down there to hug her once again before she goes on for this number, but I can't when Victoria and Lindsey were both still seated.
The other senior soloist comforted her as she tried to gain the courage to take the floor, then screamed louder than I had ever heard them scream before.
My heart walked on the floor for the second time as a solo performer. This time, she was dancing her best friend's senior solo. She kissed her hand and held it up to the ceiling for a moment, before taking her beginning position. She tried to calm the tears, but took a little longer. The announcers and people in charge of music were so patient with her, which I greatly appreciated.
Finally, she signaled that she was ready and 'I'll Never Love Again' began playing. She performed the dance she choreographed with Dakota with such grace and composure. My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest as I watched her.
Lindsey's hand found mine again. I needed her to stabilize myself as well.
After she finished, I jumped up cheering for her as did nearly every person in the gym.
We had to notify the competition of our loss, so it's not surprising that they leaked the news to the other teams. Our girls had been receiving gifts from other teams as their condolences all morning, so for them to also give our girls this kind of support was overwhelming.
Alaina broke down and slowly climbed the bleachers again until she was met with her mom once more. The two cried and held each other as soloists from other schools went on. Victoria stood to go lead the team to their dressing, when she froze.
I followed her gaze and locked eyes with Leslie, Dakota's mom. I gasped.
She came over and comforted Alaina, whispering words into her ear that no one else could hear, but I could tell Alaina needed to hear them.
I just hope for the sake of these women and the other young women on the team, that all of this pays off in awards, because that would be the ultimate prize to commend them for their hard work, perseverance, and dedication to the team and the craft. Only time will tell.
The two moms joined us in going back to have the girls get ready for the rest of the team routines.
As soon as the last routine ended, they grabbed everyone's attention to announce the final soloists that would be competing for placement awards and title.
My heart pounded in my chest as he began calling off soloists by grade level. First was ninth grade, which we had two advance, then tenth grade, where three of ours qualified, and eleventh grade, where only one of our girls made it, then finally he began introducing the twelfth grade finalist.
I crossed my fingers so hard, they might have broken without me noticing.
I felt like I stopped breathing as the announcer took a deep breath to begin announcing the senior finalists.