Love You With The Lights On (Lesbian teacherxstudent Story)

fifty seven

April 24, 2019

Emily and Guidry had organized a graduation ceremony in the hospital for me, to allow my mom to watch me graduate. It was just as beautiful as it was sad. Beautiful, because she would be able to see it, sad that it had to be special ordered in order for her to see the event.

I am completely and utterly shattered to my very core, but I wouldn't have changed that day. It was perfect. It was everything I could've hoped for and more. I can't say that I will be okay when her time comes, but for now, I am loving her to my best ability.

Andrea and Bradley have been rather distant, which I get, because our mother is on her death bed, but they are adults with their lives figured out. I'm still in high school, trying to decide what college to go to. I already lost my best friend and am about to lose my mom, all before the age of nineteen. I haven't gotten to experience all that they have with her. I didn't have enough time with her and they're shunning me. I need them now more than I have ever needed them before.

"Hey, Al." My mom smiled weakly at me. She looks so sick.

I wish this wasn't the case. I wish she had come back from this. She did it once before, before I was born. Why couldn't she have pulled through now?

I crawled into the bed with her and hid my face in her shoulder.

"You're my saving grace, you know that?" She spoke as she pet my hair.

She's told me that since the day I was discovered in her womb. It's why she gave me the name Grace as my middle name.

I nodded against her.

"God knew I had something great left to do, so he healed me, and I had you. My healthy, perfect baby girl. You defied every odd to be here and you fought like hell to live. You made me a better person by just existing. You are going to do great things, my girl. I am so blessed to love you and be loved by you." Her voice soothed me.

"I need you, mama." I couldn't fight the tears any longer.

"I wish I could witness every experience you're going to have in person, but never ever think that you are alone. I will always be with you, no matter what. Dead or alive, you walk with me in your heart. I will live there forever." She said, causing me to cry harder.

"How come you couldn't get better?" I asked.

"It's not up to me, Grace. If the Lord calls me home, it's my time, no matter how much I wish it weren't." She said softly.

Silence fell over the two of us as I cried and she held me. I need my mommy still. I need her to help me pick a school, apply for scholarships, move into a dorm, and be there when everything goes wrong. That's what she does, that's who she is. She is my mom. She is there for me, always.

"Will they hate me forever?" I asked.

"Who hates you?" She asked.

She greatly dislikes using that word, because it's too powerful of a word for someone to feel about another person. She prefers people to say 'dislike' or that they 'don't appreciate' something.

"Andy and Brad." I whispered.

"Oh, bug, they don't hate you. They're angry at the situation and are trying to figure out how to navigate it too." She told me.

"No, no. They really don't like me." I sat up.

"You want to know why they're so angry?" She grabbed my hand.

I nodded in response, though I was scared to accept the information.

"Because, I'm leaving you more than I left them. I split the money and benefits equally, of course, but my belongings— they're all yours. The car, the apartment, my jewelry, all of it. I want to make sure you're taken care of and if I can't physically be here to do it, I want you to have something, everything, to remind you that I am here with you. I could never really leave you." She disclosed.