The Psychology Project

Thirty-Five: Eavesdropping and Fairytales †

"Now, open your textbooks and finish the task you were doing this morning please. It shouldn't take too long and after that, you can start the next tasks I will write on the board." He turned around to the board, picking up a pen. "Oh," he suddenly spoke, bouncing around, "and don't think you won't get a little extra homework over Christmas."

Everyone groaned.

The lesson went on for awhile. I managed to finish the textbook work hastily and I instantaneously moved onto the tasks on the board. I had to write about how makeup makes us think psychologically to make us feel better and think we seem more visually enhancing and prettier so other people will like us.

The lesson ended and I went straight up to my room to drop off my bags before having a little walk around the college. I hadn't seen much of the other buildings that I never go in, so I thought I'd do just that. I had been here for nearly a whole semester, anyway. I was walking through building 4 – where Jason had taken me to the Nurse's office and I immediately remembered what this building was mainly for: Arts and Crafts and Design and Technology. Basically, I pondered, it was the creative building.

The corridors weren't too vacant, there was still the odd one or two people ambling through but it was tranquil at the moment. That was, conversely, until I came up to what I thought was a deserted corridor at the end of the building. I had gone through a door that was plastered in graffiti that said "No students" but there was talking.

"I don't know what to do," said a male voice.

"Then don't do this," replied a female.

Then it struck me. We're in building 4 which is the creative building. Lea does this stuff. This is her building. Jason had gone to meet her. Are they breaking up?! My mind was whirling with thoughts and my stomach was churning. Please don't let me be the cause of everything, I hoped. But it wouldn't work. I already knew I was. It had been three months.

"We're not like a couple, Lea," said Jason. He sounded exasperated but he didn't seem angry.

I stood with my back right against the wall. I threw my head back slightly until it hit the posters there. Despite this being a student-free zone, there were still posters on the walls which were a little abnormal. But not many people would realise this. There were still rooms in this corridor and it seemed like all the rest. Something had happened here, I mused.

"We can change," she bargained.

Jason sighed. "No, we can't. Too much has changed between us. I know what you think at night, Lea and you shouldn't. I know it's breaking you and no matter what I say or do, nothing changes it. You know I love you and only you and it's still not enough. What am I meant to do to change your mind? We barely have any alone time and when are we ever intimate? When do we go on dates except to the laundrette?"

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I knew this was going to happen soon, but I didn't expect I'd be listening into it. I feel like such a home-wrecker. I'm ruining everything they've ever had.

"Then let's make time." I had to give her that: she was so persistent and I somewhat admired it. "Don't you dare make me lose you, Jason. We've been together since high school and you're throwing it all away. Do you want to know what I'm thinking right now?"

"I can guess," he breathed.

"It's all for Tiegan. Everything's changed between us because you're growing closer to her. You know, she was going out with Scott at one point and they ended. I wonder why. It's because of you." Her voice was commencing to break.

"No," he said after a moment. "Don't do that, Lea. Don't torture yourself over this. It's not about Tiegan, it's about us."

"Don't you love me?"

"Dammit, of course I do!" he hissed. "But look at us. I don't want to lose you, Lea but with everything, I feel like I am anyway and nothing will change that because it's the inevitable. You can't have possibly thought we'd be together forever, right? That's a fairytale. And fairytales only exist in books... kid's books. We're not kids. We're adults."

"You were always my fairy tale."

"Don't do this to yourself, Lea. We can't keep going on like this and pretending and fooling everyone. Sometimes it just doesn't always work out. Like us."

"So we just leave it at that then? We lose one another for good and that's it? I don't have anyone who cares for me like you do, Jason. Only you know I used to be anorexic and it's easy for me to go back."

"I will still care for you, Lea. I will always care for you. You've been the biggest and best part of my life for the last four years. You're something no one could ever be compared to."

"Then why are you letting me go?"

I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to run out of the corridor, regardless of how much noise I produced with the door when it slammed and ran out of the building. The tears were still in my eyes but I was sobbing repetitively. When I made it to my room, fumbling with the key card until I made it inside, I slid down the door as soon as it closed. I escaped from civilisation but not from the knowledge.

I should be happy. Yet, instead, I was sobbing into my own hands.

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Author's Note:

JASON BROKE UP WITH LEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THAT?!

Thank you :) x