BTS One-shots

My Little Diary Entry (2)

      Time is passing by so slowly these days, huh?

      I was curious how all of you have been? Are you healthy and listening to all the rules that are given?

      I feel like I haven't updated in so long since all I've been doing is sitting, studying and worrying, and I don't think I'll be able to update soon.

      I'm not saying I won't, I really want to, but I just have a feeling that I won't.

      But I'm writing this cause I need you guys and I need to have you around, since it feels like this is the only thing I love and do for myself.

      I wanted to ask you what is your favorite book?

      Today I read The Alchemist, and it's truly an amazing book that all of you should read, it will make you feel some sort of way, depending оn what kind of point you are аt in life. 

      I felt amazing while reading it, but it left me feeling drained and let reality further shatter me, to be really fucking honest.

      Recently I had a conversation with a reader that said that she's in a spot where her parents wanted one thing for her, but she had a different dream that she won't live out.

      I'm at a crossroad now in life and I need to pick between studying programming and something else. I don't know what else, but I know SOMETHING else is something I want more than being a programmer, since I don't want to be a programmer at all.

      The book itself made me think that I'm going through all these inner turmoils and hard patches in life because that's what happens before your dream comes true.

      Then I realized that I'm not sure what my dream is anymore?

      Is it singing? No. Is it dancing? Not really. Writing, drawing, teaching? None of those seemed to do it for me.

      Until I realized that I just want to make a difference.

      I just want to make a difference in someones life, be remembered by somebody and tell people my story.

      I don't wanna live a mediocre life, settle for just "okay" love, "okay" sex, an "okay" lifestyle. I want my life to be at its 100% and more than that, but reality sucks and reality never really lets you slip out of that loop that you've been stuck in because your parents are in it, and you'll be in it and you're kids will to and so on...

      One day, if I ever make something out of my life, something I'm proud of, I'll come back here, write it down, doesn't matter if you'll still be around or not, I just want it written somewhere.

      One day if it ever happens, I'll write down that I made a dream come true, that I went through so much shit to get there or maybe not, who knows.

      I'll write down that I got to my own heaven.

      And as for you, thank you for sticking around with your emotionally constipated author.

      I love you guys.

Beautiful Mess