The Psychology Project

Thirty-One: One Messed-Up Hot Chocolate Date †

"You did really well at the competition, by the way," he articulated.

I bowed my head, letting the flush furiously consume my smile. "Thanks," I whispered back, making sure I was just loud enough for him to hear.

Shuffling closer to me, he drew his arm up and wrapped it around my shoulder. Inevitably, I was forced closer to Scott now as he turned his body slightly. He was leaning his face down to me. His eyes were closing and soon mine were closed too. As he exhaled, I could feel his breath collide gently with my lips. Jason, my mind shouted at me. He wants you too.

"I don't think I can do this," I whispered, opening my eyes and leaning back a little. I turned my head to the right before waiting a moment to see Scott.

Wearing a hurtful expression, he nodded solemnly. "I get it. You know, I figured this might have happened." He withdrew his arm back and left a respectable gap between us now.

I felt so bad for him. I didn't mean to think that I'd just lead him on and wasn't going to do anything with him now. I've had fun being on these dates with him – he had to apprehend that. I sighed and turned my body back to the children in the little play-area and witnessed them jumping up and down, gliding down the slides and trying to make it across the jungle bars.

"I'm sorry."

"I am, too in a way."

This is like movies. The girl can't do it because she's in love with some other guy. But this isn't a movie. If this were to be a movie, music would be playing in the background and everyone's consideration would be on Scott and I. Instead, my awareness is on the children. I wanted nothing more than for the ground to ingest me whole so I didn't have to worry about the ramifications of this. Scott would probably notify Jason and then Jason... what would Jason do? It didn't look like he wanted to break up with Lea.

Stupid Goddamn love triangles, I cursed myself. Why was I stuck in one? Love triangles were horrible, and in this case, it was even worse. I was predominantly competing with Lea on something. But then I always competed out on the track. So how could this be any different? I mused.

"You know," I blurted out, "our relationship is platonic."

Scott snapped his head to me and tilted it slightly on an angle. "What does that mean?"

"Our relationship has is merely friendly," I replied. It doesn't have any sexual feelings, it means. I'm right, aren't I? No, Tiegan, you're never right.

"I knew you'd pick Jason."

I closed my eyes and threw my head back. Why did everything have to come back to him? I felt like I was stuck in some god awful book that the main girl was always focused on being with the main guy: Jason. In this case, I wanted nothing more than to escape off the pages and into reality rather than the real reason people read books: to escape from reality.

"I haven't picked Jason, Scott." I sighed. "Haven't you ever liked a girl and you couldn't have her because she was dating someone else? In high school, you never felt like that?" I paused. "I'm sure you have. Everyone has at some point in their life."

"Ellie."

"Huh?"

"Her name was Ellie," he answered, licking his lips. He spread his arms out over the back of the bench and his hand brushed against my shoulder. We both ignored it. "God, I was so in love with her. She was dating my friend at the time. We weren't close but... it was wrong. I couldn't be the reason someone cheated."

Oh, how familiar this story sounded, I deliberated. Goddamn.

"We always hung out. We were like best friends. Her boyfriend, Tony started to get jealous. He had his friends to warn me. I didn't listen. I didn't want to lose someone who was so good to me. This was in junior year," he added quickly. "She got bored of Tony – I know, it sounds bad. But she did. He wasn't loving or affectionate and she just fell out of love with him."

"Did she ever try to win him back? Change him?"

"No. She gave up. He was in the past and she had to move on. She told me she was going to break up with him. I was ecstatic." More like tantalised, I thought. "I thought this could be my chance, you know. The next day came around, and Tony had been involved in a fatal accident. His bus had crashed."

I gasped. My palms were commencing to get a little moist and my mind was whirling – probably like how the bus had right before it crashed: whirling on the highway to try and evade something, no doubt.

"Drunk driver on the other side of the road," he articulated. "He was on their side. There was a car behind him though on the correct side. The bus swerved to miss the drunk driver but when right into another car. The bus toppled over in the ditch by the side and most of the people on board died. The engine crashed and suddenly caught fire."

"Tony died," I whispered.

I was already gawking at Scott in horror. He drew his arms to him and rubbed his eyes. He frowned. "Yeah, he died. There was a memorial at school for everyone on the bus. Of course, the drunk driver got his consequence, too. I can't remember what, though. Ellie was hysterical. She was crying on the phone to me. I actually thought I could wait for her to get over him. Two years I waited while they dated. Another year I waited for her to move on."

"She found someone else," I advocated.

"Yeah. I was left on the sideline all through senior year. I gave up after that. I came here. I haven't spoken to her since. I haven't had much luck with girls, as you can see."

I sighed. I was sitting on the edge of the bench when Scott stood up abruptly. He shoved his hands in his pockets and bowed his head to look at me. The palpable hurt and agony swam around in his eyes. He thrust away a strand of blonde hair and stuffed his hand back in his pocket.

Something was overcoming me now. I felt myself being lifted off the bench involuntarily. My right hand landed softly on Scott's shoulder and my left on his cheek. I stood on my tiptoes and leaned up. That was it.

Our lips glided against one another's.

There wasn't fireworks or bombs like how books normally described it. Or in films when the music would play, it wouldn't be a particularly loving song. This was something else. It felt right when establishing this, but then in the process, it felt completely wrong.

Scott had retracted is hands from his jeans' pockets because now they were on my waist, pressing me forward to him. I leaned into his chest, trying to maintain my balance when I pulled back. I lowered to the souls of my feet and glanced up at him.

"What was that for?" he whispered.

I had no answer; I couldn't answer. I don't know what came over me. "I'm sorry," I finally concluded. "I probably shouldn't have done that."

He didn't reply.

"I just don't want to lose someone like you." Now I sound like Jason. "You're a really good friend, Scott. Please. I don't want to lose you."

He nodded. "Come on; let's get back to the college."

I picked up my bag that was still on the bench and began to walk back to the college with Scott by my side. At first our chatter was mindless and infrequent but once we departed the town, it began recurrent and effortless. We were still growing as friends and I couldn't bear to lose him. I don't think he wanted to lose me, either after the tale of Ellie.

Back at the college, considering it was mid-afternoon, we went back to our rooms. I rammed the key card into the lock and waited until it flashed green. When the procedure had terminated, I lugged the key card back out and entered. Johanna wasn't in here. Where does she get to in the day? I speculated.

I sat down on the bed and just waited for something. My bag was slung down to the side of me, my forearm leaning on top of it. The key card was beside the bag, too. I turned my head to the direction of Johanna's side before turning it back to face the ceiling.

Turns out I only had to wait ten minutes before something was pushed under my door.

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Author's Note:

So Tiegan and Scott are no more! What do you guys feel about that? I feel like I ask you guys loads of questions lol but I just want to hear what you think. Please do vote if you enjoyed.

Thank you :) x