Chicago PD (#wattys2019)

102. Not your fault (Jay Halstead)

For PhoenixKozma.

I was awoken by loud screaming coming from right next to me. Another night, another nightmare. I quickly turned on the light on my phone and grabbed Jay's hand. "Jay, babe it's okay." I tryed to calm him. "You are home it's okay."

I leaned closer to pull him closer.to me when suddenly his large hand elbowed me in betwern my breasts and stomach, leaving me breathless from the powerfull impact.

Jay came to his senses as he woke up and saw me holding my chests. "Oh my god Y/N." Tears started to form in his eyes as he hugged me and helped me get the air back in my lungs. "I'm such a monster."

"It's okay." I tryed to be strong for both of us. "Let me get us something to drink okay."

I walked downstairs and as soon as my foot touched the tile in the kitchen, I bursted out crying. It was hard living with someone who deals with depression and nightmares but I loved him with all of your heart. He was worth it.

I grabbed Jay a glass of water and wiped away my tears. I slowly walked up the stairs and at the top of it, the glass I were holding dropped hard to the floor. "Jay, no, no what have you done?!" I cried and ran to him.

Jay was laying on the floor, holding a razor with his bloody hand. "I couldn't do it Y/N. I couldn't save her." He cried as I tried to stop the bleeding.

I grabbed my phone and dialed 911. "This is officer Y/L/N, inteligance. I need help on my location ASAP." I was holding towel on the damaged wrist and watched as the love of my life was drifting away from me. "Jay please stay with me, Jay..."

Pain, pain is all I felt. I felt like a looser for not keeping him save and unharmed. My body slid down the  old hospital wall until I was sitting. I hugged my knees tightly to my chests and let the tears fall. "Jay..." I whispered.

I saw Adam running in with Hailey, both in their night gowns. "Jay?" She asked while looking from me to Adam, looking for updatebon her best friend.

I mamaged to get up as the doctor came. "Miss Y/L/N, your boyfriend is stable but he lost a lot of blood. If you weren't there to help him..." Doctor paused. "You can go and see him now."

Tears started to fall down. I almost lost him.