For you (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 7

Namjoon waited at the usual spot by the seashore. His feet were uneven against the pebbles ground. Sometimes he would lean back and forth, readjusting the weight of his body and feel the crunches of the pebble beneath his feet. The sea was beginning to freeze as the sky grew more gradually canvas white. Even the seagulls had snuggled up to a warm branch somewhere.

He sniffled, the weather had gotten colder. Puffs of air escaped his mouth as he adjusted his scarf. The anxious feeling in his stomach grew deeper. You were never late before. His thoughts automatically went to the worse. He looked around and observed the sound, there were no sirens and he didn't see any bloodstains on the road. He gave it another five minutes, and there were no sign of you.

Without another thought, he ran. Occasionally fumbling over the rocky terrain, he kept his head high. Running was never his thing, he hated exerting his energy on something other than photography. His only motivation now is seeing your face. His first destination was to the restaurant and as per usual, it was packed, not even room for air to breathe. He scanned the heads of the occupants. It didn't take him long to memorize the sight of your back and it was clear that you weren't there.

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Namjoon turned his head to see Jimin by the cash register. The young boy's hair covered almost all of his eyes. Namjoon hopes his innocent remains until the end of time.

"Where's Y/N? She didn't come to the shore." he answered. He felt a little embarrassed at the volume and urgency in his voice. But he was missing his lover, that much he can't hide from the world.

"Oh, noona's at home. Eomma gave her the day off."

"Is everything alright?"

Jimin bit his lips, he was fully aware of the situation. However, he also recognized that it was not his place to say anything. "That's something you two should discuss." he answered instead. He was fond of Namjoon, but only because he was keeping you happy. Once Namjoon no longer serves that purpose, Jimin has no problem cutting him out. Right now, he sensed that you probably needed the Namjoon.

The boy's fingers were numb, not because of the chilling air, but fear that he might have done something wrong to hurt you. He thought back to the abrupt kiss yesterday. At the time, he felt such pride and confidence. He didn't stop to think about how that might have affected you. To make it worse, he didn't ask you out as he had wanted because of the adrenaline. That must have made you disappointed, or mad. Either way, he needed to see you and make it right.

His feet took off again, this time, he ran at full might to your house. He also memorized the direction to it from the walk home yesterday. Looking at it now in daylight, he saw how modest it was. There was a small gate that led to a small structure. Despite how it might seem, the exterior was well-kept with clean walls and healthy plants and vegetables. Namjoon had always wanted to grow some fruits at his own house, but he was afraid he would kill it in some way.

He knocked gingerly on the door. When it opened, he exhaled out of relief to see that you were still in once piece. "Namjoon? What are you doing here?" you asked. It hadn't been on your agenda to see him today. It would be a lie to say you weren't happy to see him. But after the talk with your mom last night, you began to think and overthink. Despite having full trust in him, there was still an uneasy feeling in your gut. The fear that is won't last and he'll go back home to someone better is constant and pounding in your heart.

"You weren't there, I was worried." he answered. Sweat built up on his forehead like a damn. His hair was parted, it was your favorite look on him. One that made your legs go weak, and when he smiled, it was like the sun had been reborn. But the sun was asleep today.

"Oh, sorry. I should have told you." you mumbled. "I'm fine, you can go now." You hadn't wanted to say that, you didn't want to push him away but everything felt overwhelming right now. It was easier than holding on to something that might make you bleed. The door began to close but his hand shot up to keep it open.

"Did I do something wrong? Are you avoiding me?" You dared not to look into his eyes, because if you did, you would give in.

You shook your head, "No everything is fine."

"Then look at me, please." he begged.

"I can't."

He was getting frustrated, "Why not?"

"Because I like you too much." you answered. Namjoon bit back his smile and his heart leaped out of joy. Regardless, there was something bothering you and he wanted to focus on that right now. "But I know I can't."

"Why not?"

"Look at us, Namjoon." you stated, finally looking at his eyes. "We're from different worlds. You're used to the silk and cotton while I sleep on the floor. It's an expectation for you to be with someone perfect. I could never match up to those ideals."

"Is that what you think of me?" he asked, his hand sliding off the door. "That I'm some superficial rich city boy who's only toying with your heart?"

"Namjoon," He backed away slowly, his face blanked.

"I don't care about whatever the hell is expected of me. But if that's what you think, then fine." Before you could reach out, he had already pushed back the gate and disappear from your sight. It wasn't how you thought the thing would conclude, you didn't even think an ending was possible. But you had painted it yourself.