Sanders Sides x Reader Oneshots | On Hiatus

Selfharming!Virgil x selfharming!Reader

A/N: a request from BabyGirlkms1! Thank you!

You woke up and rolled out of bed, not bothering to check your phone or the time.

What's the point?

You got dressed, choosing a (F/c) t-shirt. You pulled it over your head, pushing your arms out of the armholes.

You pulled the shirt down, but paused. You stared at your arms. They were covered in cuts.

Oh, right. Well, no one's coming over, so this should be fine.

You sat down in front of the TV on your couch. You turned the TV on, barely paying attention. You ignored you stomach's desperate pleas for food.

I'm fat enough.

After a while, you turned the TV off.

I wasn't paying attention anyway.

You walked to your bathroom, closing the door. You opened up a drawer, pulling out the small razor blade you used to cut.

You sat down, leaning against the wall, and placed the cool metal on your skin.

You pressed it down until you saw blood began to rise up around the blade. Then you quickly slid it across your skin, creating a longer cut. You sat there and watched the blood rise up. A couple drops splattered on the tile floor.

You idiot. Now look what you've done.

You waited for the relief that always came after a cut. A relief from the emptiness you felt.

But no(body)thing came.

So you cut again. And again. And again and again and again until there was no more space. Then you switched to your other arm. There was no relief. The dark void sucking everything you used to be inside you didn't leave.

It grew stronger.

In a last ditch effort to get some sort of feeling inside this empty shell of someone you used to know, you went to the kitchen, grabbed the salt, and poured it on all of your cuts. 

The pain was immense, but at least you felt something. You fought back a scream, staring at your arms in agony.

"(Y-Y/n)...?" A voice whispered behind you.

You snapped up, hiding your arms behind you back. "V-Virgil? When did you come in? I didn't hear you." You laughed nervously.

His face grew stern. "Drop the act, I know what you did. I watched you." Virgil grabbed your wrist and pulled your arm out.

Tears fell down you face but inside you felt nothing.

"I-I'm sorry, Virge." You cried, dropping your head. 

You felt him engulf you in a hug, and while you were shocked, you hugged him back. The pain had subsided in dull throbbing, but it was all you had felt in a long time.

You pulled away from the hug, smiling softly at Virgil.

"C-can you stay with m-me...?" You mumbled, not quite meeting his eyes. Instead you focused on his wrist.

Wait, is that blood?

"Sure, I'd lo- hey, what are you doing?!" He ripped his wrist out of your hand, but it was too late. You'd seen his cuts.

His eyes went wide with fear and panic. He resembled a guy caught with his hand in the cookie jar...In a cookie factory. With his pants down. And they're on fire.

"I-I-it was a-a cat. I saw a-a cat on the way h-here, I swear I didn't do anything...!"

"Virgil." You placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, now we both know each other's secrets."

What's that feeling? Wait. I... Feel something?

Love?!

You hugged each other again. 

Virgil insisted that you let him bandage your arms, and you insisted that you bandage his. With freshly bandaged arms, you two spent the rest of the day together.

And the day after that.

And slowly, your feelings for him grew, until whenever you looked at him you felt something.

You felt love.

You both quit cutting, and allowed yourselves to heal.

Exactly one year after you two discovered the other's selfharm habits, you both decided to confess, and spoke at the same time.

Your life got back on the right track, and you helped Virgil get his back on track as well. You two started dating, and eventually married each other, never wanting to part. Soon, you two had also adopted a small German Shepherd puppy who had been neglected, and taken away from it's previous owners.

And as the cherry on top of this now perfect life, you had two kids. One was (Name), and they were 8. The other was (Name), and their age was 5. 

You finally felt something.

Happiness.

A/N: Okay so there you go! I hope it was good. If you didn't like it, BabyGirlkms1, you can always ask me to re-write it or write a different request.

On another note:

So, my oneshot book is coming up on 5k reads. That is WAY higher than I ever though it'd get when I started.

Back then, I was trying to be like so many different people instead of just myself. Now, I'm trying to be more myself, and less other people. Not that there's anything wrong with looking up to and aspiring to be someone. 

You guys have done so freaking much and I can't possibly thank you enough. It seems like only yesterday I was celebrating 2k reads. 

All that stuff aside, I want to do something for you guys because 5k is such a huge accomplishment for me. Along this journey I've made a couple friends, and gained followers too. That is just amazing. 

So what can I do to thank you guys?

Just a side note: I would really not want to do a face reveal because I'm not entirely comfortable with that, but if enough of you amazing people want that, I could.

Overall though, thank you.