Teddy Bear - Cheryl Fanfic

Part 66

Ian's POV

I thought it would be easier. I thought I could take it. I don't want to cry but my eyes betray me. I couldn't even look at her. 

"I'm sorry, Ian. I just need some more time to think. I don't know what to do, honestly." Cheryl said. She sniffed a little and I knew she was crying too. 

"It's okay." I just said. "Well then... I..." I glanced at her and it made me wanna hug her- to comfort her. But if I did, I don't think that would be a good idea. I need to keep my distance starting now. But there's one more question... I know it's a bit mean to ask but it might make a difference. 

"Do you love him more than me?" I asked her. She stayed silent. At least, she's having second-thoughts. "Is it because... of what happened to me?" I followed up.

"No... Ian." She held my face to face hers. "There were just a lot of things that happened when you were gone. I'm not saying I don't love you anymore-"

"But you can't say that you'd leave Tre for me..." I said unintentionally. I just blurted it which was a huge mistake. Cheryl suddenly withdrew her hands.

"Do you think it's that simple? He's a human being too... He doesn't deserve to get hurt like this. I just can't break up with him with no reason." She said with a hint of anger in her voice. 

No reason?? "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I just said. "I promise this is the last time you'll see me." 

"Ian. Stop it. I'm not asking you to go away." She said. "Why the hell are you saying that??" 

"Obviously, I'm waiting for nothing." I said bitterly. 

"Ian...you're making this more difficult than it already is." She said, crossing her arms.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" I asked her, gaining control of my emotions again. 

"I... Can we talk about this another time? Please?" She asked. I can see that the look on her face says she really has no answers. And I don't really want her to feel uncomfortable. I might just push her further away if I did.

"Alright." I said. I decided to take off the pressure from her too. "Let's just pretend we didn't talk about that." I smiled, shutting out all the things I felt at the moment. 

"Yeah okay..." She smiled a little.

"Can you hug me as a friend? I feel heartbroken." I looked at her. "I talked to a girl a while ago and I felt really bad about putting her in a difficult situation. And I wanted to tell her I'm sorry." 

"Come here." She said teary-eyed as she pulled me into an embrace. "I think she understands you." She said. I smiled a little and put my arms around her too.

"I miss you." I told her.

"I miss you too." She said.

We just hugged each other the whole night. No... I'm just kidding. But, we did stay that way for quite some time and it was heart-warming. Even though, honestly, she's the person hurting me most right now, her hugs fill in every wound in me. And then I realized, it didn't matter if I don't get her back as long as she's still in my life. I know it'll hurt me. But, as long as she doesn't know... it's going to be okay. I know that if I just lose her now, things would be easy after a certain time of being heartbroken but I know to myself I would never choose that. I would never choose that because I'm still hoping. 

Cheryl's POV

"So, do you want some hot choco?" He asked as he lightly pushed me away from the hug. 

"Yeah okay... And then, I'll go home afterwards." I said.

"Why? You can sleep here..." He said. 

"Ian..." I pouted.

"What? This means nothing right? We're just talking as friends here... for now." He smirked as we walked downstairs. He let it sound like a joke but I know he isn't joking. 

"Okay. I'm taking the room across from yours." I just said. 

"Okay. Maybe you should phone Tre. He might wonder where you are." He said. 

How could he be so cool about it now? Ugghh... he turned on that switch again. I see he hasn't gotten rid of that. That's when he's thinking more about me than himself even though he's already hurting badly. 

"He'll be fine. He's probably asleep already." I said. 

"Are you sure he won't mind?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"No... he's not as clingy as you." I said.

"Clingy?" He chuckled. "What does that mean?"

"You know, you want to know where I am and what am I doing every minute." I said.

"Really? Wow... " He just said as he handed me a cup. "No wonder..." He stopped suddenly.

"No wonder what?" I asked.

"Nevermind." He smiled at me. 

I guess I was wrong to agree I'd stay for the night. I really am confused. My heart says... I want to be with him again. But, I can't just break up with Tre becuase I don't want to hurt him too. 

"Hey, you okay?" He asked as I look straight up to his wonderful eyes. 

"Uhmm, yeah. I'm gonna go to sleep. Goodnight." I said. I just needed to separate myself from him before I do something foolish.