After Him

Chapter 44

"I don't want to." He says and I look up at him.

"I see." I mutter, looking out the window.

It was hard to explain how I felt, after Irene conversation, I myself felt like I changed. I guess its just this anxious feeling of not wanting Kai to see me in a way he'll want to leave.

Though, it was hard to explain, the more we dated, the more I wanted to keep him by my side and the more anxious I become with my looks, action and who I was.

We both kept quiet as the car moved. Weirdly, I thought we were compatible but it seems we don't get through a day without misunderstanding. It was frustrating but also heart aching since I really liked Kai and sometimes no matter what Kai those, I felt I was the only who's liking since I was the first to admit my feelings to him and I had already been rejected by him once.

The car halted in front of the tall building and the air corn and movement stopped, everywhere was also more quiet. Too quiet, even though the car had stopped I still kept my gaze out the window.

"Let's go."

"Kai don't take it the wrong wa-"

"It's fine." He interrupted me and got out of the car. Sighing, I got out of the car and followed him inside the building.

Even in the elevator, a silent atmosphere surrounded us and I couldn't help but continuously glance at Kai as we rode the elevator.

He had a straight, emotionless expression as he just looked forward. Luckily the suffocating elevator opened, and Kai walked out first.

Looking around, the area was familiar and though the Hall looked the same, with the carpet and the continues identical door that I couldn't figure out which was Kai's.

We finally stopped at a door and I watch Kai open it.

We always ruin our plan, our plan to play game is probably ruin and I'll probably go home earlier.

No wonder people say it's easier to be friends. There is just this less insecurity you get when you are friends.

Once Kai opened the door, I followed him inside the apartment, taking in the familiarity of the room, I turn back and closed the door then removed my shoe.

Biting my lips, i try to break the awkward silence that has been around us.

"Hmm.. So what are you going to do in the up coming Christmas vacation." I ask from behind as I followed Kai.

Kai sat down on the couch then looks up at me and shrug.

"Ah.." I hum, looking up awkwardly with his stare fully on me, but decided to sit on the couch as well, far beside him.

Clenching my knee, I tried to continue the conversation, hoping the mood would lighten up.

"You won't go on a vacation with your family?" I look at him and he just shake his head.

"Why?"

"We never celebrate that. Christmas is blooming season for business people." He replied.

"Oh." I look at my lap but then look up at him. "Jennie? You don't celebrate with her."

"She normally celebrate with her other family." He says and I nod and look back down at my laps.

Dang it! Nothing is working!

"That's fine." I smile at him. "Its fun celebrating alone then with family, it can get annoying. Don't you think?"

"It's lonely." He simply replied, and my chest tighten and for some reason, my gaze just froze on him.