The King Of All Vampire Kings (Book 1) ✔️

|27| ~ Mr. Meany && The little old lady~

Edited.
Claire POV.

King Nicklaus's guards arrive, one female vampire and one male vampire. Neither one of them is very friendly, but at least the female has enough manners to introduce herself.

Lieutenant Astrid is a very attractive vampire, just like the rest of the leeches. She has long dark burgundy hair and stunning greenish-hazel eyes. She looks like she will kick someone's ass. Yup, she's a tough one, but there's no fear in my heart. Astrid is a beauty, sure. No big deal. Show me a vampire that isn't. I, for one, have learned my lesson with these blood-suckers. Everything that glitters is not gold. In other words, looks can be deceiving, but I guess it's safe to say that I really don't fancy Astrid that much.

The other vamp doesn't tell me his name. He's also extremely attractive— A lean, mean, blond-fighting machine. Indeed. This man looks dangerous. And he's an asshole, a big giant asshole, so I choose a name for him. Mr. Meany. I really don't fancy him either. Stupid leech.

He refuses to allow me to stop and get something to eat. Mr. Meany chooses to ignore me, so I'm going to have fun annoying him. See how that works. He's playing an asshole, and I'm playing a jerk. It's called reverse psychology. Did I mention how good I am at getting under people's skin? Well, if I didn't, I'm here to tell you I'm the best.

"Your race sucks," is my first insult, and it's only the beginning. "Vampires suck ass," I tell him, smiling brightly from ear to ear.

I might be annoying Astrid as well, but I don't care. Oh well, he started it, and I shall finish it. She has been caught in the crossfire.

"What's a vampire's favorite soup?" I ask, looking directly into his eyes.

Mr. Meany has a lot more patience than the others I've encountered. Surprisingly enough.

He continues to ignore me.

"Scream of tomatoes," I inform them.

Neither one of them laughs, but I do. I'm cracking the hell up. Priceless.

"Why do vampires scare people?" I query, moving my eyes back and forth between the two of them. "Any takers? Come on, one of you must know the answer."

I can't . . . Again, they remain silent, walking beside me through the hallway like zombies. That's exactly why the answer to my question already has me rolling on the inside.

"Okay, I'll tell you. Vampires scare people because they're bored to death." I burst out laughing. "Get it?" I'm so fucking dead. I continue to laugh hysterically. "Bored to death."

Obviously, they don't get it. Mr. Meany continues to walk silently, twirling a pocket knife in his left hand, whereas Astrid seems to be lost in her own thought. You would think that she's talking to herself the way her eyes close for a second and then open. You would think that she is measuring something out in her mind, or should I say, she is measuring me out in her mind?

 I don't miss the curious glances she shoots me every once in a while. She is weird, but neither of them is laughing. I, on the other hand, am laughing so hard that I almost pee myself. Seriously, I'm dying.

Oh boy, this is going to be a long walk for both of them. I have more than enough vampire jokes to last them a lifetime. Mr. Meany is in for it.

Astrid stops in her tracks and then she bows down. She looks worried, her entire body tense and her head so low that it almost touches the floor.

What the hell! Is she praying? I have been told that I can be extremely annoying, but not that annoying. Not enough to make someone drop to their knees and pray.