Shattered // JJKxReader

Chapter 51

"At first you are too scared to leave.
But then, you are too broken to stay.
So, we keep on hurting each other and call it 'love'."
🌹🌹🌹

I took tighter grips on my steer and drove as fast I can. I take her away with me far, far away from there. I'm losing my senses, I'm losing my nind and I can't feel anything except anger and sadness inside me.

I can hear her crying beside me. I look the side a little, while she covers her face with both of her hands. I slower my speed when we finally reached somewhere near the lake.

I get out of the car the second I choose a place to calm her down. I reach for her door, and let out a deep breathe before I finally could open my mouth,

"Out." I said filled with pressure.

With her shaking hands, she wipe her tears away. While getting out of the car slowly, she keep her gaze downwards, not wanting to look at me one bit.

And the pain always increasing when she always do that.

We were both hovered by the tall big tree behind her, as her view goes to the lake.
She sobbed hardly while trying to catch some breathes. Her face were crimson red, her hair goes same with her clothes, they were messy.

Seeing her like this makes my heart ache. It feels like thousands of knife stabs my heart endlessly. I became speechless, I don't know how to begin when I'm a total fucked up mess.
A moment of silence hit between us.
She was just standing infront not moving, but I can see her body trembles and felt her sorrow.

"Y/N..." I said barely heard while I took a step forward to her, wanting to reach her out with my hands.

But as just as I want to do that, she points her index finger towards me.

"Don't." she whispered without looking towards me.

I can felt my heartbeat stop for a second when she said that. But then, trying to calm myself, I sighed,

"Okay, I won't. Just calm down, okay?" I said softly, filled with reassurance.

The silence beams again. She keeps wiping her tears roughly when she finally snap out of her breathe and bite her lip. It worries me, it seems like she was in physical pain.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked.

"We can sort this out okay? We can talk, we can just-- just trust me this time. I promise I won't do anything-" I tried to calm her down.

"Can you stop this?" she finally interrupts.

Her voice was broke, it seems everything about her was off this time.
Then at a sudden moment, she raised her head and look towards me. Her eyes caught in mine, deeply. It's the moment where I finally can see her eyes for this long, it's what I always wanted and wish for.

But despite from that, my mind became numb. I froze. I fell deep in her eyes. In there, I can see it all.

I'm lost in your eyes.
It's dark, painful and gloomy.
And in there, i saw myself.

You were broken, because I'm the one who destroyed you.
I make you like this.

-----------------------------------------------

Y/N POV

I closed my eyes tightly in one move as I look at the ground and shook my head.

"You...why did you keep ruining everything?!" I raised my voice and stare back at him with a glare.

This is my first time I ever confront him like this. At the same time, it's also my first time that I showed my broken-self infront of him.