Hunted by the mafia, memories and secrets in Rome/Tom Kaulitz story

Chapter 45

For months, I almost forgot how many by now, we had been trying to move under the radar, to transport ourselves without a mark or evidence we ever had been alive. It had worked in some way, but for some reason, the mafia world seemed to be against us. All our former connections with the head bosses seemed to be broken by countless of deals including money, weapons and drug dealing.

I guess there was no honor left in the allies we thought I had embellished through the years as the most feared man of the underworld.

Huffing to myself, I needed to set my mind on other things than the confederates that turned my back on me for some petty pennies. I would loose it if I thought of all the ways I could end them and to be honest, it felt like I had all the time in here to do that.

Removing myself from the depressing view from the window, I placed myself in the semi-comfortable sofa. The necklet I still had around my neck hang heavy on my chest. I had kept it on ever since Taylor and I left the Riviera those months ago.

Right now everything felt like a faint memory, like everything that happened wasn’t actually real but a distant hopeful dream. The necklace I got from her kept me on my sanity level. If I could feel it between my fingers and against my skin, it was a proof that it all had happened.

I was doing my best to stay strong, stay tough for Bill’s sake. I knew he missed Mellie so much he could barely contain it sometimes. He had nightmares quite frequently and they weren’t easy.

Usually he would turn and kick a lot, mixed with moans of pain and screams of agony. I wanted to help him but after getting kicked in the head several times, I decided it was best to try and give him some space because eventually he fell asleep again.

I must admit though, I had some weak moments too.

After two and a half months away, I couldn’t bare it. I needed to see her, if only for a glimpse of a second I would feel happy again. At the time, we were in France so I surreptitiously caused Bill and me to drive into Paris.

I had no idea where Taylor lived but since I had visited her university, I knew my best chance was to hang around there. When Bill got out of the rented room in our hotel to get some supplies and to check the area out, I took the chance and darted away to the university as fast as I could.

My adrenaline had been pumping more than when I was defending myself against 6 mafia goons a couple of days earlier. I was a complete wimp but what can I say, I love the girl.

I sat for hours, lurking in my car by the University without any luck. I debated with myself if I should go inside, ask around a little bit and see if she had some class but with loathing, I knew I had to put that idea down.

 It ached to see and to know that she might be in there, that I might be able to get the chance to tell her I’m still alive and to just see her, and then realize it was too risky. If I would go in there, I would jeopardize Bill’s and my own safety and even the girls.

The clans were not far from us and any public appearance may lead them straight to us or straight to them. We had learned to trust no one but each other and if we wanted Taylor, Mellie and Hirato as far away from danger as possible, we needed to avoid them at all cause.

With those thoughts in my head, I ripped myself away from the perimeter and headed back to Bill. We spent two days in Paris before they caught up with us and we headed east.

I closed my eyes, trying to remember everything like I tried to do every single day. I could feel her soft hand grasping mine, the color of her eyes and the way her voice sounded when she laughed. I tried harder to remember her precisely but each and every day my mind seemed to clog up bit by bit.