Satellite Heart (Embry Call Fan Fiction)

Chapter 24

           Then, it was just me and her. It was then that my anger came back. I didn’t want her to see just how broken I was becoming. When she asked me if I still loved her, I told her that I could answer that but that was a lie. Of course I loved her but I was upset. It was probably wrong of me but at that moment I was blinded by my pain. I didn’t care if what I said caused her pain. But I shouldn’t have done that. She was my imprint and I would love her no matter what happened. I had promised her that and she remembered it.

            I left her there. In the rain and alone. I wanted to go back. My heart was screaming at me and my wolf willed me to but I kept running to the Cullen house. My head was just not willing to forgive yet.

               “We all know that what Lamia did wasn’t right but if she didn’t tell them anything, then why can’t we just forget that she came from the Volturi. We all came from somewhere and we all have a past. Who even knows how she got involved with them,” Esme said. She thought of Lamia as another daughter so when we explained what happened, she was more mad about how we handled then the fact that Lamia had lied about her past.

            Everybody looked at each other, thinking over what she said. I stared blankly ahead of me. “Do we know when Jane plans on coming for her again?” Bella asked.

             “I haven’t seen anything. The decision hasn’t been made,” Alice replied. Silence filled the room. Edward could probably tell how everyone thought about the situation. I wonder if he was reading mine. Glancing slightly at him from the corner of my eye, his head was bent signaling to me that he had.

          “Embry, what do you think?” Kim asked between trying to catch her breath from crying. She immediately noticed that we didn’t come back with Lamia and after Jared explained to her what happened, she had broke down. Kim saw her as a really close friend. No wonder she would take it so hard.

           Every eye in the room was on me. I glanced at them. Each of the couples that were presented were grouped together. It only reminded me of what I might have lost. I let out a frustrated sigh. I couldn’t stay in here. I felt like I was being suffocated. “I need some air,” I said standing up from my chair and pushing past the bodies in front of me. I pulled the back door open and walked out into the night.

           The rain had stopped after an hour but the rumbling of the storm still remained. Had Lamia stayed out there in the rain? Was she still there now? I shook my head and pulled at the ends of my hair. I had remained strong through the whole thing but I just don’t think I could do it anymore.         

            Small tears started rolling from my eyes. I looked up at the starless sky. “What am I supposed to do?” I said to no one. I wanted a definite answer. I wanted someone to tell me what to do because my heart and my head just can’t take it anymore.

            “Embry,” I heard someone say behind me. I turned around quickly, not caring if whoever it was saw that I was crying. Bella stood right outside the back door. I wasn’t far from the house so everyone inside probably knew what I was doing out here. “Are you okay?” she asked walking closer to me.

            I let out a humorless laugh and turned back to face the wall of trees marking the edge of the Cullens’ yard. “That’s a pretty dumb question to ask don’t you think,” I stated. She sighed but came to a stop right beside me.

              “You’re probably right. I’m sure you are feeling about as low as you can right now but, you cannot let this keep you down,” she said placing a hand on my forearm. I shook her off and turned to face her.

            “How would you know how I’m feeling? No one knows how it feels to have everything around you come crashing down. The woman that I love has lied to me and now, they are inside figuring out whether to save her from being killed or not. So I’m sorry if I find it hard to not let this ‘keep me down’,” I argued my voice breaking a little at the end, the tears showing no signs of slowing down.

              Bella just stood there while I tried to get my breathing under control. When it was back to normal, I finally let go of everything and a sob broke out. Bella wrapped her arms around my shaking shoulders. Usually I would never let a vampire touch me at all but I could trust Bella and I really needed it at the moment.

             “Come here,” Bella said leading me back to the steps under the back door. She sat me down then took the spot next to me. I wiped both hands down my face to get rid of the evidence of my tears.

          “I’m sorry,” I said putting my head in my hands. I didn’t need to take this out on her. I was the one that was completely screwed up.

              “It’s okay Embry. It may have not been the exact same situation but I know kind of how you feel,” she replied. I looked over at her and her eyes seemed far away, like she was remembering when she had experienced it. I waited for her to continue. “Back when Edward and I had first started dating, he left to keep me safe. You probably remember it but back then I thought my whole world was ending. I was depressed and hurt and angry with not only myself but with Edward. I thought I would never forgive him. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t love him anymore but no matter what I did, I just couldn’t get him out of my mind,” she said.

          “Where are you going with this Bells?” I asked.

             “I know you feel like you can’t love her anymore after this but that’s not true. After all that Edward put me through that year, when his life was threatened I went running to save him. I loved him through it all. It may not seem like it now but you two will get past this,” she responded turning her gaze to meet mine. She was right. I knew deep down, I could never hate Lamia. It wasn’t just because she was my imprint but because I loved her with everything I have. Even with all that, I don’t know where to go from here.

          “I don’t know how to get past this. When will I know?” I asked, wanting her to just tell me a time. How long would it take?

            “I’m not sure how long it will take Embry but I know that it will. You’ll know,” she replied with a reassuring smile. I managed a small smile in response but I’m sure it didn’t reach my eyes. She patted me on the back before standing up and leaving me to my thoughts. I need to get it together. Time alone would do me some good. Without telling anyone where I was going, I quickly shifted into my wolf form and sprinted into the darkness.

            I didn’t know where my feet were taking me. I let my mind go blank and let the wolf side take over but not completely. If I were to do that then he would lead me straight to Lamia’s house and that wasn’t an option.

           When I eventually began to slow down, my surroundings became clear. I was back near the clearing where everything went down tonight. At the edge, I cautiously poked my head out of the tree line. I scanned the opening, looking for any sign of Lamia but it was empty. Why did I come here? I thought as I made my way into the clearing.

          The closer I got to the middle, the more evident the reason my wolf led me here became. Lamia’s scent still hung in the air. My heart clenched as I came to a stop in the same spot as I had been in earlier. The ground around the area smelled of her. Had she fallen or lay on the ground. The thought sent my stomach in knots.

          Without thinking, I curled my body up on the ground, letting her sweet, vanilla scent overcome and wash over me. I was weak and I knew it. I rested my head on my paws and closed my eyes. This is as close as I could allow myself to get Lamia for the time being. A whimper escaped from my throat. I just hope my heart can take it.