Her Brother, My Master (boyxboy) ✓

Chapter Thirty Two

My dad asked about Ryuu a while after he had gone. Apparently he liked him.

On any other day I would have been proud as a peacock to hear that.

On any other day.

I could only smile weakly and leave. I hoped he wouldn't concern himself with that, I still didn't want him to think badly of Ryuu, because I understood why he had to go it just broke my heart that he did.

When he followed me and asked me what was wrong I told him I was ill and I thought maybe he understood. Then he said it would have been nice if 'Miguel' could have stayed a little longer to take care of me. I wasn't sure what Ryuu told my dad when he carried me inside.

I didn't say anything.

The rest of the day I spent watching videos as my desk trying not to think about anything. I took a box of tissues from the toilet and sat there wiping my nose constantly I couldn't stop it from dribbling.

The fever was getting worse and I couldn't stop wondering if it was too late to run after Ryuu, or if I even could. My nose became sore and eventually I stopped enjoying my Jacksepticeye favourites because I was just too ill, or maybe it was the sadness. It was distracting me from something that was supposed to be the distraction.

I decided that I would never watch his videos when I was sad because then they would make me feel sad, that I couldn't enjoy them.

I slipped back under my covers and as I lay down I felt such a sudden wave of nausea I almost called Donna for help.

The world was spinning, turning on it's head just trying to distract me from the sound of my heart breaking.

Did Ryuu understand? Did he know I was sad? I wanted him to know that I was sad, that he had made me sad, I wanted him to come back and ask me why and make it better.

Nevertheless I knew it wasn't going to happen, when he returns he will not leave, he has a job there, a life there, and I'm not a part of that life.

I could have sworn my bed moved.

I lay on my stomach and rested my arm on the floor, I felt weak. I tried to steady myself on it but it was no use.

The air felt too thick to breath in.

"Donna," I whispered.

I couldn't gather enough energy to shout.

"Daddy?" I whispered.

I saw something like a shadow walk in slowly through the door but I might have just imagined it, my eyes were almost completely closed.

They weren't closed completely, however, and I replayed the events of the night before without falling asleep, kind of like an illusion but it came from a memory and I was aware of it being one.

I saw the rain and the way it lit up and the expression on Ryuu's face as I fell over from the portion of his face visible through the helmet.

I could have sworn that man was in love with me.

The darkness, the chill of the air as it glided over my wet clothes and the burning in my head.

The warmth as he pulled me into his arms, I had closed my eyes while he carried me inside and spoke shortly with my father who sounded angry, he took me upstairs and wiped me down and changed my clothes.

How could he leave then?

How could he care so much and leave?

In my feverish mind I wasn't capable of feeling embarrassed, it took too much energy. So when I remembered he had dressed me in my only and most skimpy shorts I couldn't do much but smile.