River.

Chapter 120: Torn

Cassidy's P.O.V.

I really fucked up this time.

Max and I didn't mean to kiss eachother it just happened.

Neither one of us had intentions of starting something up again, if anything last night that 'last kiss' was to solidify the fact we weren't gonna be together.

I'd been crying my eyes out all night.

I hadn't even slept.

I just sat in the den for hours, hating myself.

I looked at the time and saw that it was 7 am as Jordan walked in.

"Max told me everything..." He said.

"I hate myself so much." I replied.

"You should..."

I looked at him in confusion.

"What kind of bestfriend are you?"

"One thats gonna tell you when you've fucked up."

I facepalmed myself and didn't respond. He was right.

Then Max walked in.

"What were you two thinking?" J asked.

"We weren't." Max simply responded. Jordan turned back towards me.

"Do you not remember what happened last time you did this?"
Max's facial expression went from concerned to confused.

"What happened last time?" He asked J.

"River went missing for two weeks. Thats what happened last time."

"That was his fault. No one told him to go MIA."

My head quickly shot towards Max.

Did he really just say that?

"You're right, no one told him to." Said J. "But you drove him away."

"How the hell did I drive him away?"

"Oh I dont know maybe because you're like a BROTHER to him and you had sex with his girlfriend..."

Max stared at Jordan will a dull expression. Even though he was shirtless, had on a pair of sweats, and had bedhead, he still looked pretty intimidating.

"You act like I forced her to have sex with me. She obviously wanted it."

"Max!" I yelled.

What the hell had gotten into him?

"Dude it doesn't matter if she wanted it or not!" Jordan shot back. "YOU are the older one. YOU are supposed to be the responsible adult here. Cassidy is vulnerable as hell as you know that! You KNEW she had a crush on you and you used that against her just to have sex with her even though she was with River! Even if she tried to kiss you you should've talked some sense into her and let her know that she shouldn't fuck around with other guys while she was in a relationship! You led her on! So yes this is your fault. All of it!"

"I led her on!?" Max shouted, matching Jordan's angered tone as he stepped closer to him. ""I didn't lead her on! You honestly think I had sex with Cassidy merely because I've always wanted to fuck her!? She's my bestfriend's little sister! Hell she was like a little sister to me! I literally watched her grow up! How fucked up do you think I felt after having sex with her!? How fucked up do you think I feel now that I'm in love with her and I can't do anything about it!? This shit is killing me!" His voice broke. His face started to redden and I knew he was getting upset. "I haven't had to deal with this before. You don't know how hard it is to be in love with someone that you can't have... Its the worst feeling ever. But what hurts the most is knowing that you're ruining that person's life because you can't control the way you feel. So don't ever come at me like that again Jordan. I would never do anything like that especially to Cassidy."

I honestly didn't know how to react to any of that.

Max literally just spilled his heart out.

Something caught my attention within my peripheral vision and I turned my head to see River leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

And that smirk plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry Jonah." Max apologized. "But its true."

River shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"She's not mine anymore."

"Meaning?"

Now I was REALLY interested in what River had to say.

"Meaning now's your chance to get what you've always wanted. The only reason why you couldn't be with Cass was because I was with her. Well I'm not anymore so give it a shot."

I was on the verge of breaking down. I laid my head against Jordan's shoulder and fought the tears.

"River you dont mean that." J stated.

"Yes, I do. I said I was done. I meant that."

"River please stop...." I begged, simply wanting him to stop talking.

"Stop what?" He asked.

"This. Just stop this. Its breaking my heart."

He chuckled for a bit then slid his hands into his sweatpants pockets.

"Imagine how heartbreaking this is for me." He said.

"You're laughing and have had a smirk on your face since you've been in here...." I pointed out.

"Its the only thing keeping me from breaking down. Trust me, I genuinely feel like bawling my eyes out right now. I feel so stupid because I'm crying over a girl."

"Then lets talk about this. Please. I know I messed up and I don't deserve your forgiveness but can we at least just talk?"

"I dont wanna talk. Because then I'm gonna give in and we're gonna end up back together by the end of the day. We both need a break to figure things out. You need to figure out who you want. And what you want. Meanwhile, I need to figure out if a relationship is something I want right now."

"So.... This isnt permanent?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." He replied. "But I know you and Max have feelings for eachother. So if you two do decide to pursue something, I won't hold it against you."

"I'm not gonna do that to you." I refused.

"If you dont you're just gonna keep upsetting yourself over the fact that we're not together. And plus its only fair to you. Like I said, you've gotta figure out who you want. The only way to do that is to to see if you and Max would work out. I promise it wont bother me the slightest bit. I just want the best for you. I wanna see you happy and if Max makes you happy then you deserve him."

"You make me happy...."

"It clearly wasn't enough."

And with that he turned and left, leaving Max, J, and I standing there speechless. How do you react to that?

"He's torn up about it." Said Jordan. "He's trying to hide it but I saw it in his face."

He took one last look at Max and I.

"You both are fucked up." He turned his head towards Max. "Especially you."

Then he followed River.